Reminiscing

I think David and Ellen and sweet baby Seth are going home today.
Every time a friend or loved one has their first baby I am reminded of my first baby experiences...


Leaving the hospital with that helpless little baby. Having to wait outside of the car for my Dad and Dan to hook up the car seat. The nurse saying "See you next year" and scoffing to myself, Yeah, right! (Prophesy?) Stopping at Wendy's for lunch on the way home!? Filling my pain med precription. The pain meds wearing off while I waited!! How I thought I didn't need any help. How ready I was to get home and do it myself. How bad it hurt when my milk came in for the first time. (Sorry guys, if there are any!) How mad I got at my sweet Mom for offering advice that I now know was great advice!! How greedy I was with my baby. How hard it was to figure out how Dan and I were supposed to work as parents. How tired I was!! (I didn't know anything about being tired yet!!) How I stubbornly did what ever I wanted regardless of the doctors orders on "no Stairs" and "No Driving". How hard it was to get my sweet baby to sleep. My first glimpse of her in the delivery/operating room. That overwhelming love for this tiny creature I was only meeting face to face for the first time. Figuring out what features she had from which side of the family. Trying to imagine her personality.

Those were such sweet times! I am so thankful that David and Ellen are making their own sweet memories to remember later. We have some pretty funny stories of late night fiascos. I hope, David and Ellen, that your memories are sweet, precious, and yes, even amusing!!

Here's to firsts!!

Our Poo-Poo Princess

We have had quite an eventful day at the B Casa!! Not only did we get a new cousin and nephew but another much anticipated and hoped for event happened this evening as well!!!

Elise pooped in the toilet BY HERSELF for the first time EVER!!

Now, some you may be thinking, is this really blog worthy information? Well, until you struggle with potty training a child don't even go there!!! Has anyone heard of the book, How to Potty Train in a Day? Well, I say to that, you have never met Elise B.!!! She can not be tricked, conjoled, guilted(not that I would EVER try to guilt my children into anything), or demanded to do anything until she is good and ready!! She can be forced. Everyone can be forced but the last time we tried to manipulate her to poop in the toilet was about 9 months ago.

We thought it was a great idea. Set up the TV in the bathroom and make her sit there until she poops. Well, you can see, 9 months later where that got us!

BUT tonight, (insert Hallelujah chorus) while the girls were taking a bath, Elise got out of the tub and went poop on the potty all of her own accord!!!

I might have mentioned previously that we cut a deal with Elise. I can't say I recommend that you negotiate with your children but potty training can really just throw all those rational ideas out of the water. Anyway, Elise kept saying that she would try when she got bigger. Well she turns 3 in Feb. I told her that 3 was bigger. I asked if she would start pooping in the potty when she turned 3. She said yes. Then Dan had the great idea to offer an early birhtday gift if she happened to do it ahead of time.

SOOO........Here is our Poo-Poo Princess and her very excited support group!

Welcome to the World!!

Our much anticipated and prayerfully hoped for nephew, Seth David, made his appearance into this big, big world today!!!

He tipped the scales at 7lbs. 5 oz. and 19 3/4 in. long! Baby and dear mother, Ellen, are doing well. I think Daddy David is doing ok, too.

Only one day after his expected arrival! I'd say that's pretty timely on his part but unfortunately he didn't have much to do with it. But I will leave all of those stories for his parents.

Our dear Seth, we pray God's blessings and love to you. May your mind hunger for the knowledge of God and your heart burn with the compassion of our Savior. I pray peace for your spirit, strength for your soul, and love for your heart. May you live to love our Savior and King all the days of your life and may that life be wholly honoring and pleasing to the God who created you.

David and Ellen, I pray confidence in Christ Jesus will accompany you each day that you strive to fulfill this honor of parenthood. I pray peace for your hearts, rest for your bodies, resolution and clear thinking for your minds, and joy for your souls! Enjoy the adventure!!

I Think Today is Going to be a Good Day!

Since we have Dan around more we are trying to make meal times a family event and priority. This is hardest on Dan because he has to be at class by 8 and the girls always want to spend time with Daddy in the morning. But I am so blessed to have a husband who makes these kind of priorities and then strives to really keep them. Part of our breakfast routine is to pray using our Pray for China daily calendar. It helps us focus on Christ and help the girls learn to pray with us and hopefully make missions an everyday part of our family. It has truly been a blessing for us as a family. We all go around the table and decide who or what to pray for. Everyone prays. Except, of course, Olivia. She has a pass until she can talk. But this morning Elise wanted to pray for Mommy. Dan always helps her with prayers so she was repeating what he said but my heart melted when I heard her sweet little voice say, "Thank you for such a great Mommy!"

I am thankful for such a great Danny! He is always so good to help the girls honor me with the correct language and attitude. I am so prayerful that my attitude and actions toward Dan will foster the correct submission and respect for their earthly and heavenly Fathers.

Yesterday, I spoke of hope and God is so faithful. We got a call from a church we have been in contact with and they want us to come for an interview!! SO, next Tuesday at 4 pm, please pray for us. We are determined not to get ahead of God on this one. I am trying to keep everything in perspective and keep my excitement in check. Unfortunately that isn't as hard as it once was. I see this as a hopeful event but I am a bit jaded by the whole process and able to keep my head a little better.

It is a very hopeful opportunity though. Dan sent in his finished questionarre yesterday and we received the invitation for an interview late last night. It is nice to feel persued. All you ladies know what I am talking about and I am sure you men who have been looking for a job know what I mean too.

Every day God is reminding me is subtle and not so subtle ways that He has a plan for us and we are in good hands.

It Takes a Little Faith

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

Have you ever lost hope? How our perspective on life changes when we lose hope is astonishing. As long as there is a small bit of hope floating around in my heart then I can press forward. But the instant that hope is gone I am ready to throw in the towel. BUT, that's where the second part of the verse comes in, CONVICTION of things not seen. That's the part that hurts. To keep believing when nothing in your life shows any reason to believe.

That's faith. It applies to every part of your life. From the smallest cirmcustance to the largest.

Here's a small example from my life. We have been potty training Elise for at least 12 years. HA! That's how it feels anyway! No, it has been more like 8-10 months. I had lost hope. There was no signs of this taking hold anytime soon. My Mom gave me an egg timer. Something that LOTS of people suggested. But this little apple shaped egg timer brought hope to this sad, tired, little Momma. Now we are seeing some great improvements and she promises that she will poop in the potty when she turns 3! That's only a couple of weeks away. But hope made all the difference in our small circumstance. I was ready to invest in Pull Ups! I was in for the long haul and already thinking of what to tell her Kindergarten teacher, unless of course that ends up being me! Now that I have hope, I am prepared to stay the course!

Now for a big example from our lives. We left the dream job, in the most beautiful place in the world, living in the most beautiful house in the world and came to Texas with no job a more than twice smaller house, and the direct leading of the Lord. We started out with hope. Hope that God had a plan for us, a purpose for good and not harm. We are so blessed to say that despite the crazy journey we have been on that hope is still alive and well. If we didn't know without a shadow of a doubt that we are where God wants us it would just not be worth it!! But we have a CONVICTION of the Unseen!! That unseen for us right now is a position in a full-time church ministry position, and a Masters of Divinity. Right now, we don't have a job, Dan is throwing himself full-time into classes and we are waiting and waiting to hear from a church that feels God is leading us to serve with them. On the outside we look pretty hopeless! But we have an assurance in things hoped for and a conviction of things not yet seen. So, regardless of how our situation appears I have never been more content! IT does NOT make sense. But I am so thankful for so many things!! All of our needs are met; we have a pantry full of food, a freezer full of meat, all of our bills are paid. What else could we ask for? We get to see Dan lots right now and he has plenty of time to get his homework done so when he's home, he's OURS! I mean really, what else is there? I guess the only thing that would make me more content would be to have each and everyone of you right here with me to visit and laugh with. I might even make a chocolate chip cookie or two.

I hope you aren't short on hope right now. It makes all the difference in how you are able to look at your world and circumstances. Once you give up on hope then you might as well just give up!

But, it takes a little faith. I am so thankful that God blessed me with a husband who has taught me the joys and adventures of a life based on faith in a God so much bigger than anything I can imagine! But faith is a muscle that needs exercise and use. With out use it just turns into fat or withers away. As long as My God is the ruler of this world then there is hope!

Life Goes On

Well, it's the official start of the new spring semester for Dan at Southwestern. We are trying something new this semester. Dan is going to take a full course load and try to get a campus job. He must first finish his paper for the J-term class he just took. It's due tomorrow by 5pm. I have never been so ready for a class to be over with!! This J-term class was a lesson we learned the hard way! But I am so proud of Dan for sticking with it. Believe me it hasn't been easy! So once this paper is done and Dan begins his classes on Monday then it will be the official start of something new for us. Since we know that God has called us here to do this we are trying what ever we can think of to make it through with out sacrificing what is most important, our love for the Lord and our family. SO, this is the next step in trying to figure it all out.

I decided that with this new step it was time to stop living like we are in transition. I am so tired of thinking we might not be here long! I am tired of waiting for something big to happen. All of that waiting is distracting me from what God has for me right here and right now. I took a long hard look at how things WILL be changing for us, new semester, less income, hopefully more of Dan. And it's not all bad. We have lots of great friends in the area, a fantastic church, and a few churches who are still remotely intrested in us. We have family in the same state for the first time in 4 1/2 years. We have an opportunity to go back to White Sulphur Springs for the Senior Staff Reunion!!! Dan is going to have 24 credits at the end of this semester!! And the stomach bug has been absent from our home for at least 72 hours!! There is a lot to smile about around here. Did I mention we even got an inch of snow this week!!?

It's a little late but I have decided to look at this year as the year of opportunity. Every day holds some new opportunity and I am going to look it full in the face and make the best of each one. I have a friend who once said "Do the thing you fear!" That is my motto for the year. And right now, the scariest thing for me is to settle down into this turbulent, month by month life we are currently living. I could tell you some stories about how God has already provided for our family and the blessings we have encountered for following His leading in our life. Maybe someday it won't be so fresh on my heart and I will share them with you, but right now, they are just between my God and me. He is good, all the time. And this scary transitional permanence that has become my life is exactly what Abraham must have known. God told him to go and live as an alien. He did and he lived his life. I believe he had a good life and I believe Abraham was thankful for the life he had. I know God has a promised land for us too. It's just not time yet and if I can't be happy waiting, I don't think I will be happy in the promised land either.

It's easy to keep looking forward hoping that some THING will make our crazy messed up lives better. A new job, a new start, a new house, a new car, more income, better body, more sleep, more motivation, more whatever, a new whatever; IT'S A LIE!! None of that will make you happier. If you can't be happy in the circumstances you find yourself in then chances are you won't be much happier ever! Sure circumstances can change who we are, but we don't have to let that change be for the worse. See I didn't have the power to let this whole scary transitional life thing go until I realized how much I was holding on to it. That's when I gave it over to God and that doesn't mean I am cured of it.

I watched a movie the other day about a man who thought he was a total failure. His marriage failed, his kids were a mess, his ex-wife hated him, and people who didn't know him kept throwing stuff at him on the streets. He tried to write a novel and failed. Everyone ignored him and he had a volatile temper. He was a mess. He got this idea that if he got this super $1.2 mill a year job then his whole life would just magically float back together. His wife would love him again and his marriage would be fixed, his kids wouldn't be messed up and his sick dad wouldn't die. But the funny thing is, he never made any changes. He just expected it all to get better if he could just succeed at this one thing. He realized by the end of the movie that that wasn't the case. His dad died, his wife got remarried, his kids got into more trouble. The only thing about this movie that redeemed it a bit is the fact that this man started to take responsibility for his part in why things where the way they were. He started to slowly make changes and he did get the bazillion $ job. IT didn't change anything.

It's just a movie so it lacks the answers that I believe will truly change this man's life. But I don't. I know that I can not make any changes, make anything good happen in my life apart from my Savior's presence in my life. That's where real change is made!

So. To changes and to a new start and to doing the thing I fear!

BRRRR!!!

Texas weather is like no where else I have ever been. You never know what you might get except in West Texas where it is so flat. At least there you get to see the storm clouds rolling in about 1/2 a day in advance!

Right now it is cold!! I think the temp outside right now is in the upper 20's! And you know nothing says road trip like the threat of freezing rain!! Yesterday, on a whim, I decided to go visit Angie and Luke in Austin. I thought for sure that if I went south we would be safe and the weather would blow off by Sunday. Well, apparently, the weather was following us!! I woke up this morning after staying up most of the night with a very sick FaithLyn to find that the bad weather was coming straight for us and the threat of ice in Fort Worth was worse as the day went on! SO, naturally, I packed up all the kids, and a few extra plastic bags for FaithLyn, just in case, and we headed home!

I am not sure if Angie will ever let me come visit again. We were so tired from taking care of four kids that we weren't real enspired to do fun girly things. That was the intent of my visit. Anyway, Luke started feeling crummy with a 101 temp last night and FaithLyn reported that the food she had eaten for lunch hadn't been good to her tummy. We spent less than 24 hours there and most of those hours was filled with trying to comfort a sick child. Sorry, Ang, my intentions were good! But I am glad that I got to spend some time with Angie, regardless of the circumstances. It just doesn't happen often enough if you ask me!

But we made it home before the roads froze over. That is imminent any moment now!! SUnday school was cancelled this morning and the city is on the verge of pandemonium but I think now that we are safe at home we will all survive!!

Dan has been furiously plugging away at his assignments to complete this J-term class. He is really having to hit it hard. There is SO much work to get done between now and next Friday! The library will be closed tomorrow for MLK day so I hope Dan can still concentrate with all of us girls running around vying for his attention. I just hope no one else gets this stomach bug. I am really sick of everyone being sick!How many times do we have to run this stomach bug through our family?? AND does that say something about my housecleaning or is just a really persistent strain? I am choosing to believe the latter but think I know the truth behind that question. I guess you all know what I will be doing tomorrow? Cleaning the bathrooms!!

Hope you are all safe and warm. This is a pretty far reaching ice storm. Hope you get to enjoy a nice cup of Hot Chocolate!

The Sleeper has Awakened

There is no need to worry but this blogsite has been undergoing treatment for depression. It was totally unmotivated, slept for days, and did nothing for a whole month!! But I think I have coaxed this site out of hibernation and will try to return to normal updates. It's no wonder, Everyone says the holidays are the highest time for depression and suicide and all those sad things. This poor blog became one of the sad statistics.

I don't mean to be glib, depression is nothing to laugh at but I did take a nice long holiday from my computer and all of my computer habits, (or addictions) for a while. Honestly, I just hadn't been motivated to share anything for a while. But there is nothing like the threat of a really nasty day of housecleaning to bring back the desire to sit and share my thoughts!

Here is the only family pic I have of the holidays. Ok, I am really holding back. There is one picture that includes me but I reserve the right to withhold any picture that I feel is not flattering! Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have to record the visit of Mimi and PopPop. They took the picture before church but we don't have any with them in it!! I really fell down on the job this holiday season. I don't have much to show of wonderful Christmas season!

But let's get back to the details. Dan's parents came for a whirlwind visit the weekend of the 16th and we enjoyed having them so much!! The girls loved taking them to the Cowgirls Hall of Fame Museum. I missed that one but heard they had a great time in the huge water fountain out front! Too bad we don't have that on tape!! I heard it was America's Funniest Home Videos worthy.

The Wednesday after Mimi and PopPop left the girls and I loaded up and headed for long visit at Nana and Papa's house. We had a great time! It took us a few days to figure out how to make the best use of our small space, especially since Angie and Luke were there also and Dan and Uncle Brett and Tres Arnold would be joining us on Saturday, the 23rd! We got creative and made it work. Unfortunately, we all passed around a nasty stomach bug, but enjoyed our time together nonetheless.

My favorite thing about being at Mom and Dad's was that we got to spend some good time with my grandparents, the girl's great-grandparents! My Memaw and Papaw moved to be closer to Mom and Dad so they are living right behind the house in shouting distance! It was so fun to see the girls react with and learn to love the grandparents I have always loved!

This isn't the greatest pic but I love it anyway. FaithLyn decided to walk with Memaw to the mailbox. Not a big deal but it melted my heart to hear her chattering away with my Memaw just like I used to. These moments are the things that I hope to remember and hold on to for a long time.

We went and ate Christmas dinner with my other grandparents, Memaw and PawPaw Wayne. Memaw always has lots of food and the homemade pumpkin pie is always the focal point of the meal!! She has learned to make two so that family feuds don't errupt over that silly pie! We didn't get to stay as long as we would have liked because Dad was home sick with the stomach bug so we all rushed back to make sure he didn't enjoy his few hours of peace and quiet too much! The girls were especially sad to go because they made fast friends with their cousin Zeah who was also there for the day.

Olivia has always adored her Nana. They have a very special relationship, Nana does what ever she wants and that has bonded them together until the ends of time! This is the only picture I have to document their time together but I am not kidding that this child has it fugured out!! She knew who to go to get her needs met!! It was lots of fun while we were there but the 5 and 1/2 hour drive home we sure did pay for it!! The seperation was just too much for Olivia and she screamed for Na-Na just about 5 hours of that 5 and 1/2 hour drive!!

But really, I am so thankful that the girls love their grandparents and great grandparents!! We had a lovely time with family. AND cousin Luke eventually warmed up to Aunt Kelli. It took a while but he finally taught me how to play and we had lots of fun tickling and chasing each other!

Nana and Papa got the girls a new kitchen for Christmas. The girls were so excited but we couldn't put it together until we got home. They have had more fun with this kitchen!! Thanks Nana and Papa!!

I wish that I could say our return home was just as lovely but let's face it coming home from a long trip is never as good as you imagine it to be!! The piles of laundry, the suitcases to be unpacked and put away, the reality of a home that you left in a rush, It is still home, though and we were glad to get back to our small space where at least our stuff fits.

On Saturday after we returned I was awakened by a sad croupy coughing Elise. We got her comfortable and back to sleep and then Olivia woke up coughing but not with croup. So we had two very sick little girls and then Daddy got a second visit from the stomach bug and we ended up taking him to the emergency room with abdominal pain. IT was pretty scary, he couldn't even stand up straight but thank goodness it wasn't anything serious. Just a nasty case of stomach flu! I don't think Dan was thankful but I was sure thankful it wasn't something worse! The girls didn't mind because they got to spend some time with their friends Grace Anne, Gibson, and Hayden Mize while daddy was in the ER. Thankfully we didn't, as far as I know, pass on any of the illnesses to them.

Once we got Dan on the up and up we had a great week together. We really enjoyed having Daddy around for meals and bedtime. This week Dan started his J-term class and is sitting through 8 hours of lecture a day!! I am not sure there is a professor on this earth that could make that fun! But it will be worth it when all the work is done and he is one class closer to finishing! We are still glad to have him for meals and bedtime! That's one trend we would be grateful to keep up!! We didn't realize just how much we had been missing having Daddy around. Dan and I have been ecouraged about his choice to quit his job. We have experienced immediate rewards with the girls. They are doing so much better and we can tell that not having Daddy around as much taking a toll on them.

We are still trying to wait patiently to hear back from Jacksonville on the position we interviewed for in December. We just can't quit thinking about it and hoping for it. We are in a very new place right now. We have always trusted God to lead us but He has always shown us the way before we started hoping for it. This time we are waiting to see what God has for us, knowing He has something perfect for us, but at the same hoping and praying that this is what He has. We have both been afraid to go ahead of God in hoping for this position but at the same time want to have faith that what we are feeling, this hope, is from the Lord. Either way, we know that God is in control and we are satisfied with HIS best for us. Right now we are enjoying more family time!!

I forgot to mention Dan and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary! We are thankful for God's blessing on our marriage and hope to experience that blessing for many, many years to come!

What a weekend! Friday Olivia threw up all over her car seat!! We prayed and prayed and tried to figure out what to do about the interview. We decided to giver her some milk and send her to bed. It seemed like the best way to see if she had a virus or just an upset stomach. She was fine and we loaded up after Dan finished his last paper of the semester. PTL! We just kept praying that the other girls wouldn't get sick while we were there.

We had a great time in the nice hotel room that the church provided for us. The girls and Dan went swimming and we stayed up late and got up early. The girls choice, not ours! Then we headed over to the church to get the kiddos settled in to extended care during the worship service and really enjoyed the atmosphere of the church. Then we were invited to one of the committee members home for lunch. I felt really comfortable and able to be myself. The girls were great and a big hit with all! We got them tucked in for naps and started in on the interview. I felt like it went really well. Before hand we had prayed that we would just be able to be ourselves instead of trying to always say the "right" things. Dan did a great job and it was so fun to be interviewing together. They wanted to know as much about me as Dan and Dan was really sweet to point out some of my strengths. I tried to do the same for him.

It feels to me like this church and position would be a good fit for us. But you know how it goes...now we just wait for the Lord to work and reveal His plan for us. Dan and I both agree that this interview solidified our call to this type of ministry. It is very family focused and we are passionate about that. SO even if this isn't where God has for us, we feel confident that there is somewhere out there that will desire our passion for the family as a whole.

Dan did decide to go ahead and quit his city job. It has been a really great job for this time but we feel like this time has come to an end. We promised each other that we would not sacrifice the family in order to accomplish this God directed path. It was time to honor that promise. I am so thankful for Dan and his leadership of this family. What a hard thing to do. He was most likely about to be moved to a permenant position. From the world's point of view his decisions don't make a whole lot of sense. It looks like he is just quiting and he isn't quiting for another job. This is yet another step of faith for us. The Lord has never disappointed us when we call on Him to provide for us or guide us to the next step. No matter how uncertain that may be the girls and I will definitely benefit from having him around more.

I am so excited about the future!! It can hold any number of adventures for us, and with Dan that is just a given! Thanks for all your prayers, but please don't stop!!!

Blind Faith

Well, Dan did a great job preaching last Sunday. We really enjoyed the church, too. They were a very sweet church and it was very evident that the spirit of the Lord was among them. They were very outward focused. Our eyes were opened to the responsibility that comes with a pastorate. It is a lot of work and dedication. We do not feel a definite leading either way as far as this church is concerned.

This weekend we are traveling to meet and interview at another church in Jacksonville, TX. The position is Children and Young Adults. The church is trying to make their children's program more family centered. This minister will also be responsible for initiating an Upwards Sports program. I have to admit that it has been VERY hard not to get ahead of God on this one! This position seems a bit tailored. Tailored to the needs of the church and tailored to fit our specific talents. I do not believe that the church has tailored this position to fit us, I give credit to the Lord for that. This may not be where God is leading us but it is so encouraging to see that there are specific ministry positions that will fit our family and Dan's personal giftings. It is also encouraging to see that there has been a purpose for what we have been learning in these past six months. We knew very specifically that God provided the current job that Dan has. He has learned so much about implementing and perfecting programs. He had a lot of knowledge in this area concerning programs that were well established, but his experience here at Fort Worth has given him a lot of understanding in how to create, implement and perfect new programs.

I am not sure why I doubt God to lead us to work out the passions He has laid on our hearts! He has proven himself faithful time and again. Dan has encouraged our family to trust God implicitly in each step of our lives. We have stepped out in faith numerous times to follow God's call with out seeing how He planned to fulfill that calling. We have never been disappointed or abandoned! I have faith that God has a plan for our family and I have faith in Dan to lead us in the middle of that plan. So if you need some encouragement in seeing God work, you are more than welcome to accompany us on this journey!! The Father is continually revealing next steps for us to follow and we are on the edge of a big one!! It is an exciting place to be, following God blindly. But it is not for the faint of heart!! SO take courage and we will keep you posted!!!

The Arctic Blast!

You have to love the weather in Texas. It is original at least! You never know what you are going to get. Yesterday we had winter. Who knows if we will get any more winter weather this season but it would be ok with me if we didn't. In Pennsylvania, winter was just something that came and everyone knew it was coming and they paced themsleves to make it throught the weeks of teen and twenty degree weather, the snow and the icy roads. But in Texas, people get crazy!!

It was spitting sleet most of the day yesterday but you have to remember that the day before it had been 80 degrees!! Just about every private school was closed or let out early and everyone was warning you about the dangers of driving. When Dan left for school and work I told him to be careful but I wasn't worried about him driving to work. I was worried about him driving to work with all the other crazies that were driving 20 mph on the interstate that wasn't even very wet! Granted the bridges did get a little slick and caused some significant problems. For example, Dan ran to the library around lunch time. On the way back is a very long bridge that gets pretty steep. Several drivers were having a hard time getting up it. Probably because they were driving 20 mph. Dan saw a woman in trouble and pulled over to help push her car up the rest of the incline. While he was pushing and red in the face with physical exhertion, a woman drives up and rolls down her window. She proceeds to yell at Dan from her window, "Stop it!! Are you crazy!! Don't do it! You are going to die!!" Then she goes on her way.

I assume that she was afraid the car would slide back and pin Dan to the wall of the bridge. I am thankful for her concern for Dan if that's really what she was expressing but I am not completely convinced of that.

The rest of the story goes something like this...a typical Dan story;) As Dan got out of the car to run and help a damsel in distress he locked the door, out of habit, of course! Good habit to have, except when you forget to grab the keys first! SO I get a call from a very flustered and frustrated Dan. I pack all the girls in the car and we meet Dan at work. Luckily someone was nice enough to offer Dan a ride and take Dan to his home to make his telephone call. That doesn't always happen anymore. Anyway when we drive back up to the bridge the police have closed the bridge. I look wide-eyed to Dan and he quickly informs me that he called the police to tell them about the car blocking the middle of the bridge. I guess I misunderstood him because I was sure he told me he pulled over. Apparently not. He just parked the car and ran over to lend a hand. Well, the story ended well despite the drama. Dan got his car and the police were very friendly and helpful. We aren't sure if they closed the bridge because of Dan's car or if they closed it because it was causing so many problems. But either way we have the red cavalier back safe and sound!

As Dan and I were discussing this story later it made me think of the way some christians, myself included, approach spreading the gospel of Christ. We, like that frantic woman, just take enough time to yell the dangers of hell at others with out actually stopping to explain why we are concerned for them or better yet, getting out and helping them ourselves. Jesus ministry was very personal. He always took time to speak with people and love them. Even the woman who was healed by merely touching the hem of his cloak. He stopped and deliberately asked who it was so that he could make a connection with her.

Yesterday, it felt a little like the apocalypse around here!! Everyone was running around like crazy and unfortunately some were only concerned for themselves. That woman that slowed down enough to yell at Dan was either overly nervous or truly concerned for Dan. Her concern was not taken very well by the two men who were straining to help move the car. In fact, it wasn't helpful to them all. Yes, sometimes we are called to point out the dangers of this world and its coming doom to others, but I believe that Jesus, when asked what the most important commandment was, answered like this, "The most important one, ...is this: 'Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.' The second one is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:29-31
They go together. They have to go together. We cannot love others as ourselves if we are not loving God with all we are.

I too often just pass people by. I am in too much of a hurry or to engrossed in my own affairs to take notice of those around me. Other times, I slow down only enough to tell them what's going to go wrong or the danger I can clearly see in their lives. We have to offer the whole picture from beginning to end and sometimes that takes an investment of time and energy. But if we are really loving them as ourselves that won't matter or shouldn't anyway. The message isn't only of sin, eternal damnation and seperation from Christ it is also about the love that caused God to send his Son to this world to take on the sin of the world in order to restore us to a right relationship with Himself. You can't have one without the other. They go hand in hand. We are doomed if you leave out the hope and if you only tell of the hope then we cannot grasp the fullness of that hope.

This apocalyptic ARCTIC BLAST sure did cause me to rethink the way I approach others with the message of Christ and his miraculous gift of eternal life. It also made me smile a little.


But really, it WAS only one day of freezing weather and the whole city goes crazy! If only we(I) could get that excited about the coming of our Lord!

A Matter for Prayer

We are fast approaching the end of Dan's first semester at Seminary. We have learned so much and are so thankful for the Lord's leading us here. He has so evidently paved each step for us and our needs have been met above and beyond what we dreamed. Though the Lord has provided for us and we feel certain that we have been faithful to follow every bend and curve in the road Dan is running on empty. We have begun looking and praying for the Lord's leading in following our desire to find a church ministry position. We have begun the long process of application and questionnaires.

We have been looking mainly for a children's minister position but have applied for other positions. After serving in Youth ministry during our college years we have not felt the call to specific youth ministry until recently. God has given us a new vision for youth ministry. We also have a desire to serve in a Pastor/Associate pastor position. Dan applied for one bi-vocational pastorate in a very small church here in Fort Worth and they have contacted him and we will be visting the church this following Sunday and Dan will be preaching. I have to admit that right now the responsibility of pastoring a church, no matter what the size, is quite overwhelming. But we are willing to pursue God's will in what ever position He leads us to.
SO . . .please be in prayer for Dan as he prepares and leads the service on Sunday and pray that we might be willing to follow Christ to serve in a place that is unknown to us. . .The Pastorate! I have no doubt that Dan can fill this position and that God would bless us all but it seems like such a huge responsibility!!

There is a youth ministry position that we would really like to have and it is very hard not to run ahead of God in this. We already have plans and ideas and dreams. SO we keep having to stop and give it over to God, again, and again, and again. To be able to be with Dan and be involved in his service is so enticing. I have to remember that whatever God wills for us, my most important job is the one I am doing everyday, right here with my sweet girls. It is enough and I am content but a girl can dream can't she? I guess as long as I can remain content dreaming is ok.

Dan and I learned a long time ago how to minister together. I am so blessed to have a husband that recognizes our differences as an asset rather than a hinderance. We have learned to use our differences to compliment each other and balance each other out. I guess not all couples are blessed with the desire or opportunity to work together but I wouldn't trade that for anything! Dan is my best friend, and so much more!!

Oh, LORD, hear my words and know my heart. Our desire is to serve you. We want most to live a life that is pleasing to you. If you are calling us to something different than we desire then change our hearts and give us the strength to desire YOUR very best for us and to see your very best as a blessing and honor.

The Christmas Elves

Well, the Christmas season is upon us again! Somehow it always creeps up on me. At the beginning of the new year you think it will be forever before the next Christmas season and then BOOM! here it is again and I am never ready for it. I LOVE Christmas but it always catches me off gaurd. Someday I will be one of those women who plan for Christmas months in advance and have all of my shopping done by the end of the summer but right now I will just enjoy the flurry of activity that I know to be Christmas. I usually do better under pressure anyway. (Someone once said that's what people who put things off always say, and though it may be infinitely true, I resent it all the same!)

Anyway, here are my little helpers. Elise is looking quite fierce. We Bragdons take our tree decorating very seriously. Olivia helped me take the picture. You see the top of her little head in the left corner.

After being pregnant or nursing for 5 years straight I often blamed my forgetfulness on my hormone overload. I called it pregnant brain. Well, I haven't been nursing or pregnant for at least 6 months now and I haven't recovered from pregnant brain! Perhaps now I will call it Toddler Brain! But I never used to have to make lists to remember things like. . . Clean the Bathroom. Now, however, I find myself looking back on the day and always thinking what was it I was supposed to do today? Somedays are better than others. Like the week or two that I forgot to pay the rent!! Yep! Just forgot. I kept reminding myself to save the rent money because we needed to pay rent soon but two weeks later I realized we were sadly overdue!! Thank goodness the seminary is very gracious!! So for this Christmas season I find myself making list after list of things to accomplish in such a short span of time. I don't mind though, Christmas just gives me a more focused idea of how to show the love of Christ to others. I like to think that I strive for that always but this holiday season helps us all to remember a little better. My creativity is definitely being taxed this season, though. I am determined to have gifts for all of our loved ones and friends. Which means the girls and I will be doing lots of baking. I love to bake but try not to because for some reason baking leads to eating! SO if I give away all of my baked goods then I still get my baking fix without the temptation of overindulgence. Does anyone have any favorite holiday recipes that they would like to gift to us for this holiday? Candy, breads, drinks, what are your favorite Christmas food traditions? Lay 'em on me! Maybe if you share yours then I might share a few of my own.

Don't forget, too, that the busyness of this season isn't why we do it!! I, for one, do all of this crazy stuff to show the world that they can not take Christ out of Christmas. For me and my family, this season is all about Christ. If I can show that to at least one other person who has forgotten then all of the busyness and craziness is well worth it to me!!

Happy Thanksgiving, Ya'll!!

Well, we aren't going to be spending Thanksgiving with family but we get the next best thing!! We have been invited to spend the holiday with friends and their family!! We were planning to spend tomorrow with some new friends from church but they all came down with a nasty cold virus. We were so looking forward to getting to know them better, we sure do hope the Ostics get to feeling better and I hope Jim feels good enough to cook the turkey anyway. They were doing the turkey and rolls and cranberry sauce and some desserts and we were bringing the rest. If I had already cooked everything I would just drop it off for them. Who wants to cook when you are sick? But unfortunately I hadn't started cooking yet!!

Sunday the Gerlt's asked us what our plans for Thanksgiving were and I called them up this afternoon to see if the offer was still good. YIPPEE!! Not only do we love the Gerlts but we LOVE the Allens, too!! We get a double treat!! We get to spend the day with our friends and their dear family!! Erin's parents have known Dan and I since before we were Dan and I.
I even get to bring some food, but I think they are just humoring me so I won't feel like a bum. I am bringing an apple pie for Dan and Festive Tossed Salad. It is so yummy!! I found the recipe last year when I was preparing my first Thanksgiving dinner and I have decided it will be one of our yearly recipes. I think things like that are fun and well, honestly, you have to make the dressing and that's just a once a year kind of thing for me.

So even though I am super homesick for family, we will be fellowshipping with friends that are closer than a brother, well maybe not closer but you know what I mean. Both of our families will be getting together. We would love to be with them both but if we can't be with family being with the Gerlts and Allens is pretty darn close!

And on Friday I get to put up the Christmas decorations!!!! I bought some new Christmas music today, I couldn't help it!! I love this time of year it is so magical and I know all the secrets of the magic!

Thanksgiving Week

I love Thanksgiving! It is one of my favorite holidays. It is still just about giving thanks to our Lord for the blessings of life. It is a time for family, friends, and food!! That is a pretty good combination if you ask me.

I love holidays that give me an excuse to do cooking, baking, or both for lots of people. I love to cook and bake but if I cook and bake lots for my own family I end up eating it myself. I have realized that eating lots just isn't good for my 5' 1" little body. BUT if I have people coming around that actually can eat or like to eat at least one day of the year then I am set loose to enjoy the culinary joys of preparing a feast! I also have this, let's call it a. . . compulsion, to always try new recipes when I have company coming over. It usually works out well. I just can't help it, I am always looking for something new and yummier than last time. But if I find a recipe that is perfect, then I perfect it and keep it around.

Perhaps someday my children will grow enough to enjoy food in a healthy manner and I will enjoy cooking for them, too.

So for all of you first timers, or experts, Don't forget to start thawing your turkey!!!!


Question of the Day:
Is pumpkin pie better made from a can or from a baking pumpkin?

Happy Birthday to my Birthday Sisters and Half Birthday Brother!!

I am a little late but late is better than never, right?
I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my birthday sisters!!! November 13, is a very special day for some of my favorite people!
My college roomate and one of my bride's maids, Melisa Izaguirre,
Happy Birthday!!! Nov, 13!!
She always remembers to call, too!

Also Aunt Patty is a birthday sister!!
Happy Birthday, Aunt Patty!!!
It's really amazing I am 28 and she is only 29!!

Also I would hate to leave out my Half/Birthday Buddy!!

Happy Half-Birthday Chad Gerlt!!!
Hope you had a special day, too!!

Birthday Week

I have had a really great week! Diana, Dan's mom came for a visit on Sunday and we just got home a few hours ago from dropping her off at the airport. I have to say I definitely got the better end of the bargain. She came Sunday and let Dan and I go out for my birthday that night while she stayed at home with the girls AND made me a birthday cake. She slept in the bunk bed with the girls! She insisted that it was fun for her! Then we went on Monday to the museum and she took us to eat at Chick-fil-A with Dan. Tuesday we spent the morning at the zoo and then she let me go shop that afternoon for a couple of hours all by myself!!! I was a woman on a mission. I didn't even slow down enough to say "No, Thank you," to the booth sellers in the middle of the mall. It's too bad I didn't find anything! Then Wednesday we went to the library for story hour and ate at Chick-fil-A AGAIN! Then I spent most of that evening on the couch not feeling well. She folded my laundry, got the girls snacks, did all the dishes while she was here and did everything else that has to happen everyday. What a breath of fresh air. She assured me that she loved getting in on our routine but I know she is going home to a full schedule and I just pray she gets a good nights sleep tonight!! We love you, Mimi and we sure did enjoy your visit.

I have to tell you, I am so blessed to have a mother-in-law that is more friend than relative. She challenges me spiritually and is continually sharing what Christ is doing in her life. She works hard to keep up our relationship and she is so full of grace for me when I am too overwhelmed to carry my part of the relationship work. Thank You, Lord for the tremendous blessing I recieved when I became a B.!!!

I have such a wonderful family! Two sets of parents that are THE best parents. That just doesn't happen because of some cosmic coincidence! That my friends is the blessing of an Almighty Father who cares about every detail of each and every one of our lives!!

An Ordered Life

Yesterday, I had a small breakdown. I have all of these convictions for creating a more peaceful and ordered home and yet I want them to just jump into existence! Here are some of the tasks I am trying to routine into my day: Preschool class for FaithLyn and Elise twice a week, One craft a week(0r more) for the girls and I, less TV watching, reading lots of books with the girls, cooking more, healthier eating, healthier cooking, baking with the girls once a week, involving the girls with house chores, playing outside every day, excercise regularly, keep house clean by getting in a routine for cleaning all week.

SO, just a FEW things that I have been working on for oh, say, the last few years!! Some are new convictions and some are reconvictions! But I haven't been faithful in following through or the Lord wouldn't have to REconvict me of these things. They are all healthy habits for living and about the preschool thing well, that's a big one for me. I have always been a "salt and light" send our kids to public school kind of girl. But I did surrender this to the Lord and I am willing to do what ever the Lord leads in this respect. Right now, I just want my kids to be ready and have the basic skills they need.

Back to the breakdown. I trained in college to be a High/Middle school English/Speech teacher. I don't know how to teach a 4 and 2 1/2 yr. old!! First of all, I don't remember how to break the knowledge down to the basics. I get so frustrated when they don't understand me. I don't know how to get them to sit still and wait patiently. OK, Ok, I know they are very young, but I am trying to get them used to these things, right? Well, I finally made it through my Aa game craft and sent them outside. I ran back to my room and lost it! I get so tired of the question, "What can we do next, Mommy?"

Now bear with me here, I have to share this to show a part of me that I am learning to experience some growth in.

Have any of you Moms gotten tired of being responsible for every moment of entertainment for your children? Well, like I said it was a breakdown. Not a rational moment for me.

While I was crying out to my Savior for a "calgon moment" he simply reminded me that being a Mom is hard work. If I am truly committed to living a life that is pleasing to Him then I will die to self daily. That means generally the same thing for everyone but when you start to examine your heart it is lived out in different ways. For me it means being willing to coordinate every moment of my girls day in order to achieve the goals Christ has set before me. I forget that these sweet little people I am charged to care for haven't traveled on this journey for as long as I. I know it sounds silly but I expect my children to buck up and fall under the expectations I have set for myself in order to make it easier for ME to accomplish MY goals.

So I sat myself down and first prayed for forgiveness for having such warped expectations and for getting frustrated with my children. Next, I thought through very specifically what about my time with the girls triggers my frustration. 1. I don't know what to expect developmentally. 2. I don't know how to present it in an age appropriate way. 3. I wasn't sufficiently prepared. 4. my supplies are disorganized. For all of you super organized friends out there, you know who you are, I am catching on. SLOWLY but surely.

After I made this mental list I actually wrote down what I need to do to fix these problem areas. This is what I came up with. 1. Do some reaserch and reading on age development and teaching preschoolers. 2. Organize my craft supplies. 3. Fully prepare at least 2 lessons at a time that are ready to go! 4. Get all of my "great ideas" organized into a notebook. 5. Make a list of daytime activities that's easily accessible when the girls need help with ideas. 6. Prepare three boxes of "special time" toys for alone play time for the girls. 7. Loosen up a bit about perfection.

This is a big step for me!! It usually takes me tellling Dan all the ugly details and him saying very simply, "Well, Kelli, it seems like all you need to do is. . ."

I always get lost in the here and now and forget to focus on the principles/goals that Dan and I want to teach our girls. It's so easy for me to focus in too micrscopically on each moment and let the long term perspective go. It's easy to do when you have someone needing you to do something important all the time. I could spend my whole day meeting immediate needs but I would not be doing my girls any favors by letting go of the important long-term needs. I am slowly learning the neccessity/benefit of a more scheduled day. And the Lord is so merciful, thankfully I will not be judged according to how well I accomplish these goals. I want to succeed but success is not my motivating factor. My motivation comes from a deep desire to know and please my loving Savior, who loved me and gave himself for me. The more I know him the more I want to follow his example and the more I learn of him and his example the easier it gets to want to love and know him more. It is one endless cycle that I am thankful to be caught up in!

VOTE TODAY!!!

Please don't forget to VOTE!! Vote your values! You can get a voters guide pretty easily online. Dan found ours so I don't have a web address for you. Voters guide or no GO VOTE!!

Delightful Days with Daddy Dan

We have been soaking up every possible moment with Dan this weekend!! He finished his mammoth paper on John Hus (you'll have to ask him about it!) and all of this round of tests are complete. And to top it all off. . .he had this weekend off!! So starting Friday at about 6:30 we only had eyes for Daddy! It was such a wonderful weekend!! We ate at Rosa's on Friday with Hannah Mize and her kiddos, YUMMY! Then Saturday we let Daddy sleep in a bit and we headed of to a friends 1st Birthday party! After naps we went to the Fort Worth Museum and saw the IMAX Ride Around the World. It's the history of cowboys. FUN! Then we checked out the new Notion of Motion Exhibit and headed to Chick-A-lay for dinner!! Then we came home and managed to get into bed at 9:00 for two nights in row! SLeep! GLorious SLeep!! Then church was sure fun with Dan today. Last week he had to stay home and work feverishly on his paper. You know it's crunch time if Dan is skipping church! And I won a gift card to Boston Market at MOPS on Friday so we ate there for lunch! WHEW! that was a lot of eating out but it sure makes Mommy happy when my time with Dan isn't all consumed with meal prep!!

WoW!! You would think we have had enough excitment but we just about to head out the door and make our way to the Gerlthouse for some much awaited and much needed fellowship!! The girls have been asking ALL day "Is it time to go to Anna Takes house?" Elise still inverts her t's and k's. Pretty cute, huh? I would love to go on and on about how great our weekend has been but you are just going to have to settle for this quick recap because it's time to go!! More Fun!! Get ready GerltHouse!! We have some pent up love to shower on you guys!! I hope you can handle it!

New Look For BClan

I thought it was about time for a new look. Tell me what you think.

A Humble Pride

This morning I was reading a devotional thought about humility. I was convicted.

"A humility that freezes our being and frustrates all healthy activity is not humility at all, but a disguised form of pride. It dries up the roots of the spiritual life and makes it impossible for us to give ourselves to God." -Thomas Merton in Thoughts in Solitude

Then I read this quote by Helen Keller- "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker."



How many times do I hide behind the idea of striving for excellence? I do not follow God's call to accomplish some task or do a certain task because I am afraid of failure or accomplishing the task only marginally. I am reminded of the verses in II Corintians 12: 9-10

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities , that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in presecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For wehn I am weak, then I am made strong."

How many times have I missed a blessing, not to mention the strength of the Lord, simply because I didn't want to appear weak, incapable, unintelligent, incompetent, under qualified, unable. How long will I stand in the way of God's greatness. He wants to show Himself in my life. He wants to exert His power in my everyday tasks yet I prevent it because I am afraid of failure!? I need to take a hard look at my heart and decide if I believe what Scripture says about my victorious Savior. Do I believe in Christ or will continue to limit Him because I believe in myself more?

I want to choose the freedom He offers. The freedom to be unhindered by the qualifications I put on success everyday. I would like to give up the expectations I have for myself and simply look to God. He doesn't expect much. He simply says, "Follow Me." All I have to do is choose to listen, and obey and I can be free from the standards of this world that are so much more burdensome than the freedom Christ offers. SO today, I choose Life. Life more abundantly, filled with the love and peace that no man can explain or understand.

Madame Butterfly, the 103rd Dalmation, and Olivia and the Red Crayon

It's no secret to those who know me that I am not crafty. It's ok. I have come to grips with the fact that I will never rival Martha Stewart and my children will never arrive at parties with cute homemade crafts to share. So, that is the preface to the pictures of my children's first ever Halloween costumes.

This is the first year that I have had to struggle with how we would address the halloween situation. The girls are old enough now to know what is going on and ask questions. So Dan and I decided that we would take it one year at a time. This year we have decided to let the girls dress up (because it's fun) and attend Dan's community center carnival. All of the COmmunity Centers in Dan's region got together at Shane Mize's community center, Greenbrier and had booths set up in the gym. It was really fun! They had a bounce house and lots of fun games. The girls got lots of candy and Grace Ann, Gibson, and Hayden Mize were there too. It can't get any better than that! I even got to visit with Hannah! So in preperation, I went to the resale shops looking for cheap costume ideas. Because like I said, I am just not crafty! We found some really cute butterfly wings that FaithLyn fell in love with and a cute dalmation costume for Elise and an Elmo suit for Olivia. But when we got home I realized the Elmo suit didn't have an Elmo face hat. So she has a red suit! Hmmm...my craftiness was severly challenged over this one!! But we came up with the red crayon idea and well, she's still to young to realize that she got shafted!

We had lots of options for tomorrow. Our church is having a really fun Harvest Festival and it's completely Bible based so I know that would be great for the girls but I was really burdened about our neighborhood. Everyone in the neighborhood knows that we attend seminary. They know we are "Jesus people." I feel like this will be a good time to let my girls experience giving instead of getting. We are going to stay home tomorrow and give out candy. I hope we have some trick or treaters because we loaded up on candy! I tried to get the good kind too. I want to send a message to these families that, yes, we are Jesus people, and that means we love you! I hope it will open some opportunities to meet some neighbors or at least some neighborhood kids. At any rate, my girls will get to focus on giving out candy instead of getting it. I am really excited because growing up in the country we didn't have any trick or treating. I can't wait to get to open up the door and give a sugary treat!! If anything they will at least know where to come to get the good candy next year!! I hope that what ever you have decided to do with your family that you enjoy it! Whether it's fall, or Halloween, or what ever you celebrate have fun!

This last picture is just one that I wanted to share. Aunt Patty sends us these great boxes filled with all kinds of goodies every once in a while and today happened to be once in a while! The girls love getting packages and the boxes from Aunt Patty are always BIG! So we had fun going through it and trying on all of the great hats she sent our way!

Passing on a Love for Reading!

Books have played a very important role in my life. I love books, I love to read, and I love reading to my kids. I was an English major so that I could read and get a degree for it. I studied to become a teacher so I could help other kids to love reading. Now I am a mom and I hope to instill a love of reading in my children.

I also love free activities for my kids! I found out about a book signing "Pajama Party" with Laura Numeroff, the author of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and that whole series of books. She has a new book out called When Sheep Sleep. We had to drive a long way to get there and unfortunately we missed her reading of this book but we got to hear her read one of her other books and answer some questions. Then she signed our books for us. We were there for 30 mins. maybe and I was glad we did it but I wasn't sure it meant anything to the girls. This morning FaithLyn told Dan about our pajama party with the lady who read to us. I am so glad she at least remembered! That made the traffic and long drive worth it.

Happy Reading, All!!

The Spiritual Leader: God ordained

I have expressed in some previous posts some of what I have been learning about the biblical role of women. Today I want to focus on the role of men. The first chapters of Genesis are great to study in regard to biblical roles of men and women because we get a little bit of a picture of how God intended things to be. I in no way claim to be a biblical scholar but here are some things that have been revealed to me by others who are biblical scholars and theologians.

We know from Genesis 2:7 that Adam was formed first. He set about doing the work that God assigned him, to tend the garden and keep it ( 2:15). Thus creating the role of provider for the male. Then God gave Adam specific instructions about what he could and could not eat.(2:16-17) Next, God promises to make for Adam, "a helper comparable to him"(2:18) Then the animals were created and Adam named them and verse 20 says, "...But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him." Then God put Adam to sleep and formed Eve from Adam's rib. She was part of him, made to be a "helper comparable to him." He named her and then the institution of marriage was set up. Remember, this is still before the fall, so this is God's perfect plan.

Now here is the part I had never thought about before. Scripture does not account for Eve learning of God's command not to eat of the tree life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. In fact, when the serpent asks her about it she says, "We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden , God has said, 'You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.'" (3:2-3) We know that is not exactly what God told Adam. He said do not touch it. Did Eve just add not to touch it for emphasis? Or is that how she was taught? We have God's words recorded, but there was some discrepency from God's words to Eve's. And no sin has been committed yet. That means God allows for this "interpretation" of his guidlines. Now let's skip to where God confronts Adam. Who does God call for? Does He call for his children? No, God calls for Adam. (3:9) This is proof that even though Eve took the first bite God asked Adam to answer for the sin first. I am assuming that it was Adam's responsibility to teach Eve what fruit was good to eat and what was off limits. Because He was ultimately held responsible. Now we see in verse 13 that Eve has to answer for herself to God and also to reap the consequences but who did God ask first? Eve is a helper, responsible for her actions but under the umbrella of Adam's leadership and authority. Paul even goes so far as to say that Eve was decieved but Adam ate with the full knowledge of wrongdoing. (2 Cor. 11:3; 1Tim 2:14) Now they were both cursed. But even in this curse there is a promise of the grace of Christ to come (3:15b)

So if the woman is a "helper"; which, by the way, in no way signifies inferiority, just a different task; then the man has the role of leadership. His leadership was well established before woman ever even appeared. So, we see that God recognizes Adam(man) as the spiritual leader. He addressed Himself to Adam first, then Eve was called upon to answer for herself when Adam pushed the blame onto her.

Now that we have the biblical foundation for the man's role as spiritual leader I can give personal testimony. I have always understood that Dan is the spiritual leader in my head. I have to admit though that I have fought against this for years with out even realizing it. That's part of the curse, I think.

Genesis 3:16b "Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."

The older I get the more God is revealing to me the peace and joy I can find in living under the umbrella of Dan's leadership. You know God didn't make marriage a metaphor of His relationship to us for nothing!! Just like it is so much easier to let God lead your life, it is so much easier, as a wife, to let your husband lead the family!

Our move to Fort Worth has put us in a perfect place to allow God to more fully develop our roles for our marriage. My only focus is family and home. Dan on the other hand has lots to focus on. Work, School, Family, Church. Not in that order but still that's a lot to think about. And for the first time God has placed us where Dan really needs. . .can you guess. . .MY HELP! But I can only help at home. I can not do his work for him. I can't really even be at work with him, which is a change for us. I can't do his school work for him, that's just not ethical. I can't schedule time for him to be with us as a family, it's just not possible. SOOOO, I am limited to simply do what I can in order to help. What does that look like? I try to keep his clothes clean and wearable, I keep the house neat so when he is here he can study, I cook for him, make his lunch, and sometimes stay up late with him and help him study or read some of his assignments to him. It sounds like a lot but there have been lots of times that I have been in tears because there just wasn't more I could do to help him. But you know what? That's the way it's supposed to be! If I can meet all of Dan's needs then he doesn't need to go God.

When Dan and I got married we had lots of fun together. We thought we would look back on those first 2 years and laugh that everyone said it was going to be so hard. Well, know we look back and laugh that we were so prideful!! Learning to live together was easy for us, but learning to become one spiritually was tough!! It took a long time to even understand what that meant! We are still learning how it looks and feels. But I have become dependant on Dan's spiritual leadership in my own walk with the Lord. Now, do not misunderstand me, I am ultimately responsible for my relationship to the Lord, but I have learned to recognize that Dan sees things in me that I am unable to see. He can direct me in the Lord and see how God is leading me sometimes when I get caught up in the finer points or miss the point all together.

Living in PA we only had 3 TV stations so we didn't watch a lot of TV. We got to be pretty disciplined in this area of our lives. But moving to DFW where we get 12-15 channels just with the rabbit ears caused some problems. First of all, TV is a sin trigger for me. Let me explain. The more I watch TV the less aware I am of the content I am taking in. The more TV I watch, the more I think of self-gratification. For me that equals food and laziness.
The less I watch TV the less I deal with the desire to over-eat and eat junk food and the less I feel tired and want to just sit and rest. Now granted nothing in excess is good for us. Moderation is the key but when you add TV into my life my ability to moderate myself goes down the toilet! I have known for quite some time that I needed to set some new boundries for myself. I have even felt the conviction of the Lord in this area of my life. I have even tried and failed more than once since we moved here.

The other day, Dan told me he felt convicted to stop watching TV and that the girls and I shouldn't watch either. I am so thankful that God has been preparing my heart and teaching me about godly submission. My heart was in tumult but my head knew that he was right and I was able to respond in a loving way. We have since gotten rid of the rabbit ears and when Dan comes home at night I make sure that the only temptation to put off studying is me. We have agreed to some boundries for our family where the TV is concerned. Boundries that we can all agree on. Marriage is a partnership and if you truly love your mate like Christ calls us to then you will want what is best for them even if that's hard for you.

I had been telling myself that I needed to have TV so that I could at least get some kind of adult interaction(if you can even call it that) and it was my consolation for Dan not being around so much. (Honestly, this is how I explained to myself that I deserved to be able to "rest" and rot my brain and deaden my heart) My reasoning was faulty at best and it was not benifitting me or anyone else in my family at all!

Since Dan stood out on a limb to lead the family in that way I haven't even struggled with wanting to watch TV. His leadership made it easy for me to want what I had been convicted of long ago. I know that I am ultimately responsible for obeying God's instruction in my life but when I have a godly husband who hears and listens and obeys the leadership of God in his life then it sure does make it easier for me to hear, listen and obey. I am so thankful for a husband who loves me like Christ loves the church. Everyday he sacrifices his time and energy to work long hours to provide for us. I am so thankful of the sacrifices he is making for us when it would be easy for him to decide to let us just go with out some things because God has called him to be a student right now. But even though God has called Dan to be a student, Dan has not forgotten his godly assignment to provide for his family. He is a great provider, protector, and I am so thankful for his spiritual leadership. But the key in Dan's leadership of the family is that he is fully aware of and sensitive to THE Provider, Protector, and Leader.

Thank You, Lord, for your love that I daily see manifested through my husband to my family and the world he encounters around him.

Fun Weekend with Daddy!

Here is a picture story of our weekend. We had lots of fun enjoying time with Daddy!! We went to the zoo all day and then Daddy put the girls to bed. That's always a fun event!

There should really be some set rules about posting on these things!!!?

Has anyone out there seen that TLC commercial about life lessons? The one that says Merlot and email don't mix? Well, apparently for me PMS and blogging don't mix!! Not a good idea! That stupid post has been plaguing me since I posted it. I am afraid that I didn't portray my meaning well. I was very honest about my emotions that, clearly, were unstable. I was only trying to show how stupid I had been.

God has put me in a place to give to others right now, and I love to give to others. I also have lots of great friends that are giving tons to me despite their crazy schedules too but my poor friend got caught in the crossfires of balancing giving to others and (wrongly) expecting to recieve from some. I am so sorry dear friend if I made you look back on your actions and doubt yourself.

Recently I have realized that I don't want to be one of those people who imposes my own ideas of justice on others over God's ability to deal with individuals and perhaps his desire to deal with me. You see I have come in contact with a person that deals with conflict in a way that I don't necessarily agree with. This individual, in my opinion, tries to teach the offender a lesson rather than being honest with the person and confronting them in love. And I just don't agree with that. I think we need to treat individuals with the same love, grace and mercy we have received. Jesus called us to love our neighbor as ourself. So I try to remember that in a conflict.

Well.

As much as I am opposed to this theory I was practicing it myself!! That's a bit ironic, don't you think? Anyway...my realization of my own self-righteous attitude towards this persons conflict resolution opened my eyes to my own lesson teaching conflict resolution. That was the point of the last post. Not anything else that I may have very emotionally rambled about. But I learned that no matter what the conflict, or even if our feelings get hurt, there is always someone else involved and that some one else is worth a little thought and compassion. It's so easy in conflict to think of how I am affected by this incident but Jesus calls us to think of others and it is usually worth the time spent if you can put yourself in their skin for just a moment.

A Hard Lesson

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression" Proverbs 19:11

"There are many plans in a man's heart,
Nevertheless the LORD's counsel-that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

"Do not say 'I will recompense evil';
Wait for the LORD, and he will save you." Proverbs 20:22


I encountered these verses in my study time this morning. They smacked me in the face! But I have to be honest, I knew it was coming! Here's a little background...

I have been very emotional the last two weeks. God has placed me in a time that I am giving way more than I have ever given before. I believe he brought me here so that I could learn to turn to him in order to recieve what I need. Because let's face it folks, 12 hours a day with three kids 4 and under, well that'll just suck it out of you! And in this emotionally dry period the Lord has placed some people in my life that need me. I am so thankful to be needed but I just ran out of things to give and I just wanted someone to do something for me. I think most women are bad about letting this kind of thing build up and build up until you eventually just explode. Well this was the week of Mount St. Kelli. I had given so much to others that I was dry and the only thing coming out of me was poisonous fumes!


I took a step this morning to release that poison that infected my whole life for this past week and half. I got up this morning to spend some time in the word and BAM! That smouldering volcanoe that was just under the surface fizzled and died completely when I read those verses above. What a heavy burden I have been carrying. I feel so small and ignorant! I spent so much energy being hurt and carried so much emotion because of that and I wasted a whole week being depressed and sullen and moody.

"There are many plans in a man's heart,
Nevertheless the LORD's counsel- that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

I am a Homemaker!

I have been learning so much about God's plan for me. This won't sound earth shattering for anyone esle out there, but for me, this is big stuff. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a wife and mom. I decided to get an education and get certified to teach, just in case. But I always , always wanted to get married and be a mom! I got married at age 21, too young for most of the adults in our lives but just right for God's plan. I found out I was pregnant with my first child when I was 23! Despite the dreary circumstances we found ourselves in, no jobs, living with Dan's folks, I was so EXCITED!! Then God moved very quickly to show us that we were truly following His plan and He provided the perfect job for Dan and a home for us. So I was set. I was ready to be a Mom. During those few months while I grew a life in my belly I was as close as I have ever come to depression. The issue I was dealing with? How could I have issues when all of my dearest, oldest dreams were coming true? The problem was I had spent the last 18 years of my life studying to become something that I might not ever do. I was a house wife. And our house was a two bedroom suite in the 1800's hotel we worked at. So what on earth was I supposed to do with myself? I slept a lot, I read a whole lot, and I ate a lot. I am thankful we didn't have t.v. there! I struggled with being content and I couldn't figure out what I was missing. After talking it over with Dan for a LONG time I realized that I was mourning my "career". It seemed so crazy to me, because I never had one! But I felt so useless! Nothing that I did seemed to hold any purpose other than everyday life, and it definitely didn't seem to hold a purpose in the Kingdom.
That was four years ago and three children ago and I think I finally understand the purpose God has placed on my life as "only" a wife and mom. It's so easy to lose that focus in the early years of motherhood and marriage. But right now my sole purpose is to care for my husband, my children, and our home. In that order. And for the first time ever, it's enough! I love what I am doing and I have more drive to excel and purpose for excellence than ever before.
For the first time I am able to see how my care for my family truly does help Dan to be the provider, the protector, and the spiritual leader. And when I let him take care of those things, that are by the way, his God given role, then I am free to concentrate on fulfilling my God given role; to comfort, nurture, teach, and physically care for my family. I think that understanding the divinely designed responsibilities of each role has helped me to honor them.
Now, please don't misunderstand me, I am in no way saying I should not have been educated for a profession because some day that may be part of God's purpose for me, and in a sense it is His purpose for me now. I am better able to teach my children basic skills because of my education. I am also able to be a partner to my husband in thought and intellect. As he learns and grows in his spiritual leadership he teaches me and shares with me the knowledge he gains. Then I am able to supplement that knowledge on my own. I am speaking of his seminary "knowledge" here. I am ultimately accountable for my own spiritual growth and relationship with Christ.
I guess the purpose of these random musings is that God has finally granted me contentment in my role as wife and mother. When people ask me what I do I don't say "I am just a mom." anymore. I say "I am a Homemaker!" Because that is what I do. I strive to make a home that is comfortable, inviting, and full of the knowledge of Chirst and His love. That is something I can take pride in! It's not an easy job either.
I will still probably encourage my daughters to develop what ever skills they possess in the direction of a "career". But I will also make sure that they have a solid understanding of what God's purpose for marriage is and what responsibilities He has given to each gender. I also pray that my contentment, joy, and fulfillment as a homemaker will give them the same desire to be a wife and mom that I gained from my mother as a young girl.

I know I am not alone in this struggle! I know that other women struggle with this very same issue because it has been around for as long as sin has been around. I know because God said so! In Genesis 3:16 it says, "To the woman he said, 'I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.'" (emphasis added)
So ladies, at home, we are in charge of the children, and the home but NOT how it is run. We were created to be a "helper suitable". I think "Your desire shall be for your husband" means you want his job not your physical desire for your husband. Which by the way is a good thing to keep around! It has taken me a long time to come to my current level of understanding what respect for my husband looks like. I know I have a lot further to go but finally I can quit wishing I was doing what he gets to do and work on excelling in the place that God created me for! And when I excel as a wife and mother, then I make it easier for Dan to excel as a husband, father, student, and professional. It was meant to work that way! And it is amazing how well it does work when we are willing to surrender to God's plan.
So, if you are a wife, a mom, a working mom, a single mom, a daughter, a sister, or just a female, be encouraged. God does have a plan for you. He created it long ago. It has been tested and proven and created for us to thrive under. And no matter how many times you fold and put away clothes, or pick up toys, or wipe noses, or put your husbands underwear in the dirty clothes basket, or clean the toilet, or do the dishes, or fix a meal, with out a thank you; you are doing a divinely desinged task! It has a purpose more significant than getting through the day. And let's face it, we are usually just better at it!

A Close Call

Dan called this evening to tell me that one of his co-workers was attacked late one night this weekend while getting gas! We have been praying for this co-worker. We care a lot about her and Dan has shared his faith and various aspects of his faith with her numerous times. Thankfully she was unharmed but very sobered by the situation. She has three children also. Dan came home and hugged me a little longer than usual. The part of this story that is scary to me is that she was at a gas station!! They are usually well lit and have security cameras! But this co-worker is one of my new heros!! He came at her while she was getting back in the car and threw open the door. Then pushed her back on the passenger seat. She grabbed her cell phone which she only keeps for emergencies. (By the way, old cells phones with out service are still capable of dialing 911!) She did this and the operator told her to stay quiet and they would come. But the man saw the phone and started to grab for it and she took the opportunity to kick him in the head several times. She knocked his glasses off and then when he went to pick them up she really nailed him with her heels. This guy ran back to his car, and can you believe this, HIS CAR WOULDN'T START!!
She was able to give the 911 operator a description AND a liscence plate number!

I am retelling this story for a couple of reasons. 1. You ladies need to be careful!! Use your spysense and keep a close eye on your surroundings!!
2. Maybe mace isn't such a bad idea to carry around!!
3. This co-worker told Dan that this experience made her realize she needs to change some aspects of her life. So please pray that God will have victory in her heart!

Long awaited Tea Party Pics!

Here are two of the three pictures we took of the party. Our little tea drinkers, FaithLyn and Anna Kate. They were very serious about their tea. FaithLyn was pretty upset that I wouldn't serve hot tea! Mrs. Kent our neighbor in Pennsylvania invited us over frequently for afternoon tea. It was always a highly desired invitation. And FaithLyn has developed quite a taste for tea. I have to admit I will never quite develop the hospitality that we experienced at Mrs. Kent's. Those times of fellowship were so sweet. We so miss you,
Miskie!


This is the spread. I don't think I will persue a career in cake decorating anytime soon!

The Gene Pool

I have realized the gene progression in my children and this picture gives a clear example. FaithLyn has always been tall and skinny, even as a baby. Clearly B genes, there aren't to many tall Clarks, a few, just not in my immediate family. Elise has always been short and skinny, also from the start. So, we see some of the Clark genes very evident. But Olivia is a different story all together! She was tiny from the beginning, but she couldn't help that she entered the world 4 weeks early! Ever since then she been trying to catch up with her big sisters. She is and probably always will be shorter than average but let's face it she almost weighs as much as Elise! I love that she is chubby, not having a chubby baby up to this point. She has all the rolls and chubbies that other babies have. She is all Clark! Maybe we should stop now. We have all of the safe combinations of children. 1- full B(FL) ; 1- 1/2 B1/2Clark (E) ; and 1- full Clark. Thank goodness I know that they were each fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator whose knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I can not attain it. Psalm 139. But regardless of how the Father put them together he used parts of me and parts of Dan. They are each so different yet so much a part of Dan and I. They are the perfection of our love and the wonder of our Lord. Not to mention they keep life interesting!! I am every day thankful for His gift though I admit I am not always excited about the amount of work it includes.

At the end of the day during supper when my nerves are very touchy and my patience has worn thin, I would still rather sit at my table with my three sweet if only human and sinful girls and try to make it through a meal with out a spill, a threat, refusal to eat, or loss of temper than eat alone. Parenting is the most worthwhile, challenging, frustrating, heart breaking, joyful, sweet, messy, painful, trying, rewarding, awe-inspiring job I have ever had. I love these three girls more than life itself! I love my Lord more and my husband still must come before them but that is how I am able to love them as much as I do. I love them by setting boundries, by giving up my time and personal desires to do things with them and for them and yet I can not love them as much the God who created them. So I will entrust their future, their care, and their souls to the Father that can love them without fail. I pray for His grace as I strive to love them with His love and I pray that He will grant us all mercy when I fall short of that goal. And fall short I do! OFTEN! Sometimes I forget these goals that are foundational to our parenting style. I get overwhelmed or most often too focused on the tasks and forget to nurture the relationships. At the end of the day all I can do is ask the the Lord to , "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139:23-24

Even as I consider the wonder of my children I am reminded that I am also known. And His grace is sufficient for EVEN me!


Enough said.

The Long Road Back to Normal

This may be news to the blog world but not to those who see me regularly, I am no longer baysitting Katelyn. She is a sweet girl and my girls loved having her around but it was just to much for me. I was stressed out and tired and losing some ground in some key areas of my life that we just weren't willing to sacrifice. In the end it took Dan telling me it was time to let go for me to feel ok about telling Katelyn's parents. I feel a bit like a loser, but I have to keep telling myself that my first priority is to MY family. And I wasn't able to do it all.

Kudos to you moms who do! I would much rather be poor and eat spaghetti every night of the week. Work STINKS! No matter how great the job or boss or coworkers! I am not cut out for it. Maybe my standards are just too high and I am unable to let some things go, I'll just keep telling myself that so I feel better anyway. But honestly, I know that I made the choice that is most honoring to God. I am able to focus solely on my family.

Anyway, Katelyn's parents were very understanding and God worked out the details. I told Katelyn's parents on Monday but told them I was committed to keep her through Oct. because that was the original agreement and on Thursday they told me they had someone to keep her already!! Maybe I was just supposed to be the inbetween person anyway! But I have to tell you it is a bit humbling to realize I couldn't do it. I know that I was obedient to God's call and it just didn't last as long as I thought. I learned some valuable lessons!! It also helped me get Elise going on the potty training!! Woostinkinwho! If even just for that it was definitely worth it!!

All that was just background to say that I thought it would be really easy to get back in gear and on top of my game again and now it's been a week with out Katelyn and I still feel like I am recovering ground! The sad part is that I don't want to do all the stuff I know I need to. I stopped keeping Katelyn because I wasn't able to do the things I knew I should with the girls and now that I have no excuses I am still not doing them! I guess I have to give myself a little time. I always try to just jump right in and start back where I was but that just never happens!!
Kind of like when you are pregnant. I always thought if I could just have this baby then we could get on with life! OH NOT TRUE!! Then I would think well, once she's sleeping through the night! It is just a cycle and at some point you just have to get tired of waiting for the perfect circumstances and DO what ever it is you are waiting for to happen. Every day I make a small bit of progress towards my goals, so we'll get there. But Dang, it sure is slow going!