Swim Lessons

Today was the long-awaited Swim Lesson! FaithLyn's first ever swim lesson took place with 2 in. of snow on the ground. She woke up early because she was so excited and the snow made it super bright earlier than usual. We got ready in record time and were off! Getting up an hour before the girls is doing wonders for me!! Not only do I love spending time in the Word but taking my shower first thing in the morning gives me a whole hour more during the morning!! To me that is the difference between actually getting work done or not. And I feel more free to do fun crafts or Mommy Time with the girls. Anyway back to swim lessons. . .

We arrived at the YMCA in Hollidaysburg in time to change and get aquianted with the building. Sammy, 4, our neighbor and friend, followed us there. He is a veteran swimmer so he showed FaithLyn the ropes. She was so cute!! We waited patiently until her teacher came to meet her and then I said a quick prayer with her and she never even looked back!! I could tell she was a little nervous but she listened so attentively to her instructor and did exactly as she was told. She floated on her back, very scary in the past, and swam with arm floaties all the way to the other side of the pool. I couldn't believe it! I got to watch from the observation windows. I did sneak in every once in a while to get a picture or two. I didn't get any really good pictures because Olivia was screaming like a banshie every time I moved a step away from her. She is really learning to work her mommy!

When FaithLyn finished her lesson she said, "Mommy! I did everything! Did you see me?" My heart melted!! To see her sense of accomplishment made the hour drive and screaming baby sister so worth it!!

When we got home she said, "Mommy make sure that you wash my swimsuit and towel so that they are ready for me next time." I thought that was a pretty good idea. Thursday is the next class. There were two other little girls and two little boys. It is so fun to see your kids experience these things for the first time. It makes life seem a little more crystal clear and bright.

We Miss You, Daddy!

Dan left today to attend the Christian Camping and Conference Association's annual conference. It is a wonderful time of fellowship and fun. There is even some sharing of ideas. This is the first conference that Dan has attended with out me. (sniff, sniff) We went last year with both of the girls and had a great time. I felt like this year three children would just be to much. Plus we are leaving in June, so I sent Dan off with my best wishes and only a little jealousy. He would not have gone this year if he were not teaching some sessions. He was asked to lead two sessions today. He did one on Focused Facilitation and the other was a Games Sampler, all dealing with Youth Camps. He is so good at this kind of thing!

I heard from him this evening and both sessions went well. Now he can just enjoy himself. I had a very successful day also. All of the laundry is clean and folded. The kitchen is clean, including the floor! And we even have our clothes laid out for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a big day. FaithLyn is going for her first Swim lesson! I will tell you how that goes! She is very excited!

We still miss Daddy but I think we can handle a few days. We are just trying to make it one day at a time. Today is over and we have two days left to go. This isn't SOO bad. I mean it's not really even two whole days. He will be back for dinner on Wednesday. SO we have about 43 hours to go. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!!!

Movie Night!

We promised to take the girls to see Curious George and tonight we had to make good on our promise. So we called Peepeye and Popeye(Marty and Clay Thomas, Center Director and stand in grandparents) to watch Olivia and took the big girls out for a night of fun!

We left right after naptime and ate in the Mall Food Court. Then headed over to the movie theater and loaded up on movie snacks. I mean we really did it right! We got a large popcorn and drink, Twizzlers, and Junior Mints. What's a movie without Junior Mints? We even got a refill of Cherry Coke halfway through the movie. This was some serious movie watching!!

The girls had a blast and we had so much fun with them. Elise was laughing out loud and this was music to my ears!! I come from a family of loud laughers and it was nice to not be the only one laughing at the movie. Usually the only other people in the movie theater laughing are laughing at me laughing at the movie. What can I say, I love to laugh. There is nothing like a good leg slapper! You know the kind where you throw your head back and really guffaw and the next thing you know your hand is slapping your knee. I tell you if you haven't tried it you haven't truly lived!

The real payoff for the evening was when we were walking back to the car and FaithLyn said, "Thanks Mommy for this great idea!" What a sweetheart! I'm going to choose to believe that was not the sugar talking. What fun it is to make memories!

Go to the Ant you Sluggard!

I just spent the last hour getting quotes for moving truck rentals. Yuck! The good news is we have enough money saved already to make the move. I guess I will get to buy groceries this month!! We weren't really worried but you know how fast those nerves can get ahead of the mind. I guess this will all take place after all!

The last couple of days I have been very convicted about being lazy and grumpy. I was talking to Dan about it and he suggested that I start getting up before the girls to spend some time with the Lord and collect my thoughts before the day begins. I knew he was right and I love him for taking the chance of upsetting me to give good advice. I fought it for a couple of days but yesterday God really got the message through to me. It was time to allow Him to work through my conviction. So last night I made the plan and prepared myself for an earlier morning. I was really excited about getting up and getting in the Word. The plan was to get up and shower then go downstairs and have my special coffee and snuggle up on the couch with the Lord and His Word.

Well, this morning the alarm went of at 6 a.m. and I thought out loud, "It can't be time already!?" Then a few moments later, after Dan had already jumped up and dashed downstairs or should I say tumbled?, I drug myself into the shower. Then I got dressed and went and made my coffee. I had a great time in the Word. I got to pray for the girls and read my chapters and have some even better prayer time. I am not telling you all this for a pat on the back. I recieved my reward through fellowship with my Savior. I committed myself to the day and the day to the Lord.

It hasn't been a spectacular day. I haven't increased my productivity BUT the Lord did help me see that He wants my heart to be looking to Him today. I haven't gotten a lot done but what I have done. . . matters! I have a little perspective.

I knew that I needed to put myself before the Lord for a good old heartlift. I knew this because FaithLyn has been asking me way to much to put on a happy face. Isn't that sad? My three year old daughter has to ask me to smile at her. I would only be telling half of the story if I didn't tell you that most of the time she asks me this is because she is in trouble but you get the idea.

Tomorrow will be the real test!! What was so convicting? Well I told you Dan and I had been talking about this for at least a couple of days, and in our Minsitry Team meetings we are reading through The Pilgrim's Progress. Well as Pilgrim is on his way to the Celestial City he stops to rest and falls asleep during the middle of the day. A voice awakens him saying, "Go to the ant you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food in harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?" This is a direct quote from Proverbs 6:6-9. I know that there is a time for rest and sleeping and Moms with young children don't get me wrong, we NEED to rest and take care of ourselves so we can care for others. BUT for me it had become something more. I was resenting the care of others part. That's a pretty big part of my day. OK, it's all of my day and some nights, too!

I don't miraculously love cleaning toilets or folding the 12 loads of laundry each week but I do love my family and the Lord who blessed me with them. To honor Him I can do those things with a pure heart and a great love for those who will be blessed by my efforts if not my actions. See you bright and early tomorrow morning!!

Life, or Something Like It

The dark cloud has passed over our household and life has returned, or something like it. I shouldn't have expected life to go right back to normal after a week of nonstop TV watching.

I woke up this morning cranky. I was looking for someone to gripe at. Dan was unfortunately the first to fall under the not so friendly fire. What did he do incur my wrath, you ask? He drank my special coffee. The coffee I drink during my special afternoon "ME" time. In my own defense I did just buy him two boxes of this coffee to take to work and drink at his leisure. Next, the girls broke a drawer from one of their little toy cabinets by sitting on it. I might not have lost my cool if I hadn't left the room explicitly telling them not to sit on them! FaithLyn kept saying, Elise did it! Elise did it! It got pretty ugly. I threatened to take the toys away if they couldn't take better care of them. I only meant the toys in this particular drawer but FaithLyn immediately started to panick. I told them to start cleaning up the room or I would give them both spankings.

I left their room and went and prostrated myself on the floor of my room admitting my sin and asking forgiveness. Now there is a lot of history behind this that you don't all know. The girls have been tearing pages out of their books lately and this upsets me greatly. FaithLyn has also begun to tattle on Elise because she likes for her to get in trouble. Elise has always been slow to obey and refuses to do her part to clean up unless I make her. Now these things will not do!! These circumstances and my foul mood mixed together were not a pretty sight.

I want to teach the girls to take care of the things that God has blessed us with with out becoming so attatched to "Things". I want the girls to work together to help each other and work as a team rather than every man for himself. And dadgumit! Elise WILL learn to obey!
How do you accomplish all of it and have a good attitude? Well, I obviously failed in all of the above this morning. I was at a loss to even know how to start over.

The truth, I have no power to succeed as a parent with out the love of Christ. I woke up this morning and let self have full reign over my heart. I had no plan to succeed or to even let Christ work through me. I tried to be enough and the sad truth is I never will be!

Realizing this helped me to throw off my funk and proceed through the day. It has still been a little bumpy but then it never was easy for me to give control over once I had known the taste of command. But. . . even now I may relinquish my scepter and royal garments if I choose to trust the only One who has proven Himself trustworthy. I think I will continue to try and accept His love and guidance.

The Black Plague

Well, we have been visited by the plague! This illness has chosen our family to take down. It has chosen a very clever strategy. Start with the biggest and move through to the smallest and youngest! The tricky part is that just when you think it over and your loved ones are safe from harm, BAM! it hits someone else, the next in line bites the dust.

Today, we thought we were free from this highly contagious epidemic and to celebrate we took a trip to Chik-A-Lay. Right when we walked in the door and where parallel with a family quietly enjoying their lunch, Mount St. Elise errupted! There was only one casualty, FaithLyn. SO we gathered up our crew and made it to the car, after, of course, we enlightened the staff of our mess.

We then went through the drive-thru and I equipped myself with a trash bag and antibacterial wipes. I made myself comfortable in between the girl's carseats in the back seat of the van and didn't have long to wait to be put into action. Three trash bags later we made it home. By the time we got home I was so car sick from facing backwards on a VERY winding road that I had to lay down. I was eventually able to eat and Elise is down for the count. Poor girl, it was so miserable!!

I am sure those people at Chik-fil-A where glad we came and left them a present!! I thought being sick was bad but there is nothing as bad to me as having your kids get sick and not be able to really make it better. It is so emotionally exhausting. SO if you see this angel of death coming make sure you rub everything you can over your door posts!!

The only one left who hasn't been sick is Olivia, so please pray that the angel has taken enough of us!!

Tossing my Cookies or rather Birthday Cake

I hate being sick! I especially hate throwing up. Dan got sick with an awful stomach virus on Valentine's Day. I made it through the birthday party and then it was all over for me. I knew it was coming on so I ate a huge piece of birthday cake while I still could.

I have limited myself to one dessert a week and I have been looking forward to this chocholate cake for days! So I was very determined to get my cake and eat it too! In most of the pictures of Elise opening presents you can see me shoveling in cake. Boy, did I ever regret that moment of stubborn determination!!

The worst part of being sick is not throwing up or the other part, but the body aches! I slept about 3 hours total last night. I actually did my best sleeping in the bath tub. But, enough of my whining. I am almost back to normal. One night of good sleep and I'll be good as new.

To better days and good night's sleep, and a desire to eat cake again. Well, someday!

Happy 2nd Birthday, ELISE!

Today is Elise's 2nd birthday! What fun we had. She had an Elmo birthday party. She got lots of fun toys, all which seem to have a million pieces!! I have only myself to blame. She seems so much older already.

Somedays I want the girls to stay this age forever. Only somedays, but today was one of those days. I know that as the girls grow I will enjoy things about each age but it is so precious so to see them learn things for the first time. Then they inevitably start yelling over a toy or some nonsense and the spell is broken. But what will I do when the girls stop asking me to chase them like a monster, kangaroo, dinosaur, horse, lion? I just have to enjoy everyday as if it is my last.

Happy Birthday, Elise. May God bless you with His love for others and a heart for service. This is our prayer for you: "May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for others as ours does for you. May he strengthen your heart(s) so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones." 1Thessalonians 3:12-13

The ME! Monster

I love being a mom. There is nothing in this world that I would rather do. Why then do I wake in the morning and groan about the day ahead? Why do I look forward to my shower because I know the girls will be playing in their room and leave me alone? Why does my mouth salivate in anticipation for my cup of coffee during nap time, MY special alone time? Then I find myself just making it until bedtime so that I can enjoy myself or time with Dan, alone.

I realized, today, that I wish everyday away. Granted there are moments in everyday that I stop and enjoy my girls, but MOMENTS, why not all the time, every moment? Why do I wake up feeling burdened by the work I know they will create for me? Am I so selfish? YES!! To my extreme shame, I am.

I want to get excited about nap time being over, about "special time with Mommy", about quiet moments snuggled up with my girls and a good, silly, book. Too often I find myself going through the motions, telling myself that I NEED to do these things for the girls. What happened to WANTING to do them? I think I could probably make excuses for myself like: things will change when Olivia gets a little older, or I won't always be so tired. But if I am really being honest with myself, you, and my Savior, I have to admit that I am inherently selfish and disgustingly lazy!

Before you all hastily comment on how it is impossible to be lazy with three small children let me calm you a bit. It would never appear to the untrained eye that I am lazy. My days are always full. I am always busy doing something. I never stop doing the things that I know I need to do. But my attitude, my spirit is so begrudging of this busyness. I have been frustrated for some time that I am no longer able to get the house clean and laundry done all in one day. I like to do this so that I can enjoy the rest of the week. I have convinced myself that I do this so I can devote more "special" time to the girls. The truth is I do it so that I can devote more time to myself! When I am, by some miracle, able to accomplish the housework quickly I send the girls to play by themselves. I tell myself that it is good for them to learn to play on their own and I am sure there is some merit to this. The truth, I don't want to sit on the floor and have a tea party for 30 minutes! I don't want to teach the girls to play with dolls or build with blocks.

I guess this long confession is just to say that even though I LOVE being a mom and staying home with the girls, I want to REALLY enjoy every day of it. I want the girls to know me and desire my company. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with looking forward to some quiet time with my husband at the end of the day, but what God has been teaching me lately is that I have only been thinking of my own comforts. What do I want to do, what will make me happy, what would I like to eat tonight, what would make the day enjoyable for me? Not only have I not been thinking of what would please my children, I have totally stopped trying to think of the comforts of my husband. Granted, I still do the work, but my sad little heart has been consumed with thoughts of self.

I am reminded that God doesn't want my work or need it for that matter! He desires and even died to have my HEART! Faith without works is dead, but works without faith is only busyness!! I admit that it is so much easier to get in a routine of work because then you don't have to think about it. But the Lord keeps calling to my heart, not my actions. Thank God He isn't satisfied by my actions alone. What a sad and burdensome life this would be. He can make my heart rejoice in the work and even look forward to fun time with my kids. I guess that is why it is so important to love what you do, otherwise it is just work. That's exactly how life with Jesus is. If you stop loving Him, it's only work. Thank goodness He never gets tired of loving us or blessing us out of His unimaginable love.

Bath Time!

This looks a lot easier than it is. Wet baby is as slick as snot!!

This picture was too cute not to share!

Give a Little Love Today

Happy Valentine's Day!! I hope everyone is having a lovely day full of fun and maybe even some giggles. We are a having a fun day. I got my gift last night. Right before bed Dan let me open my package. There are not many types of gift wrap or boxes that could make a woman excited before she even opens a gift but the tell-tale James Avery sticker and satin ribbon will do the trick!! Dan got me a great James Avery cord necklace with a star pendant. He keeps me pretty well up on jewelry. He used his Christmas money to buy it for me! Isn't he sweet?

The girls have had a great time making Valentine's cards. We made a Lion, a Turtle, a Frog, a Pig, and a Dog. Everyone of them is made out of construction paper hearts. What fun. I made the girls each an Elephant Valentine. It really is amazing how many animals you can make out of different sized hearts. My sister-in-law gave me the idea and I am ever-so grateful!

Share the love today and everyday!!!

Sledding, FUN! or FLOP?

God was so gracious to give us enough snow to go sledding. FaithLyn was so excited when she woke up this morning. She asked all morning when she could go sledding with Daddy. She waited so paitently all through church and only asked a few times about sledding. Then she suffered through lunch and made it through nap time. Then the agreed upon time approached, Daddy got home from work and YIPEE! it's sledding time! We got all of our long johns and snow clothes on and got out in the snow. Daddy starts pulling the girls up the hill on the sled and wouldn't you know it. . . "Daddy, I don't want to!" SO the first sled run begins in tears and ends in giggles. Then they make their way to the front porch to build a snowman. One last sled run with just Dad and FaithLyn and the whole event is over in less than 20 mins.

The event is somewhat anticlimactic for you and I but I think it was just right for the little prayer warrior. Thought I would share how God has worked in our family today. It is proof that He listens and answers all prayers, big or little, He cares!

Our Winter Wonderland

Well, winter has returned to South-Central Pennsylvania! This picture was taken today, two hours after the snow started. This is the veiw of our drive-way from the front porch. I am not sure how much snow to expect but I have heard varying reports. At one time I heard the word blizzard and then no snow at all. SO, we'll see, but it looks very promising right now.

FaithLyn has been really hoping to go sledding with her Daddy one last time this winter. Every time that she wakes up in the morning and sees a little snow on the ground she asks if it's enough to sled. Today when she saw it snowing she immediately asked if it was enough to sled. I said we would have to wait and see. Then I thought this might be a good opportunity to learn a lesson about prayer. FaithLyn is very good at praying for our meals. A typical FL prayer would go something like this, "Thank You, Jesus, for Daddy, Mommy, Olivia, Elise, and the food. Amen." Usually the only variations are dependant on who is sitting where at the table. Dan has been teaching her to also pray for something special that she wanted to Thank God for that happened during the day. It has been really fun to hear what stood out during the day in her 3 year-old brain.

Today, I encouraged FaithLyn to pray and ask God to send enough snow for sledding. We have prayed that twice today. My heart was brightened by her sweet prayer. I know that right now she best understands thanksgiving prayers so her prayer makes sense. But when I was encouraging her to pray I told what to say but this is what she prayed, "Thank You, God, for enough snow to sled." I know that she was praying in the way she understands but it made me so happy. How often do I ask my Lord for something but before the words even reach my mouth I am already preparing myself for disappointment. I am so grateful when I learn something about my walk with the Lord through my innocent children.

I am not sure how much snow we will get. I am faithful that FaithLyn will learn a very valuable lesson no matter how much snow we get. And even is she doesn't, I already have! Thank You, Lord for enough snow to go sledding!! Happy Sledding, All!

An Adult Size Temper Tantrum

I have definitely given in to the "Martha" mentallity this week. I have been so focused on trying to DO certain things that I got grouchy. I hope I am hearing a few "amens" out there. I had all these big plans this week of fun things to do with the girls. My mom sent us a Valentine package and in it was all the stuff to make and decorate cupcakes and sugar cookies. How FUN! I wanted to do it this week and share the goodies with everyone because next Thursday is Elise's 2nd birthday. I wanted there to be a little space between Valentine's candy and Birthday Cake. It all sounds good but between working out at Curves and all the everyday things that have to happen there isn't much time for anything else. I was determined not to give up my "Personal" time during nap time and looking back that is where I think I went wrong. I had this attitude that I deserved that time.

I try to have "Special Mommy Time" with FaithLyn and Elise every day that it is possible. I really feel that some time committed to each child that is special and all theirs is so important. It makes a huge difference in their attitudes also. The girls are all so close together in age that they still depend on me to do LOTS for them. Unfortunately, Olivia's needs are foremost right now and it's so hard for the girls to understand that, especially Elise. SO this week I tried to do it all. I wanted to go work out three times this week, make and decorate cupcakes, make and decorate sugar cookies. That alone doesn't sound so hard but it is never that easy. I'll spare you the list of things that keeps me from getting anything done, it is all beside the point any way. I really feel that this time is important and I had a time line of when these activities should be accomplished. My failure was in not giving up my comfort for a little special time with my girls. I thought I should be able to get these things done and still have the leisure to rest during nap time. When this didn't prove true the first two days I ended up frazzled and grumpy and I was only more determined to make it work today.

I figured out, a little too late, that I was so focused on me that I made everyone else miserable. And what for? Something I thought I deserved. I am a little embarrassed to admit that I was so selfish. I mean, you may not realize how good I actually have it so I'll fill you in. On days that I work out Dan comes home 30 mins. early to be with the girls AND fixes dinner while I am gone. That's three pretty major things all in one. First of all, Dan is so supportive of me working out. I have to drive 20 mins. to Curves and twenty mins. back so it takes some planning to fit it in between feedings and other things. Second, he asked his boss for permission to leave work half-an-hour early so that I could do this. And most importantly, that time of the day is THE HARDEST time of the day for me. The girls want attention and I have to fix dinner. He does them both!!

Let's just take a moment to fully dwell on how great Dan is. He is so cute and takes his Mister Mom role really seriously. He is really getting in to this whole cooking thing. Diana and Bill, You did GOOD! When I plan out meals for the week he gets out the cook books and puts in a few meal ideas for his nights. He is really getting good! Last night, for example, Dan made Chicken Ceasar salad. He made his own CROUTONS!! I mean really, I would have just gone without but not Dan. If he can find the recipe, he will try it. And he has just about perfected fried chicken!

He has given up so much to make this excercise thing work for me. And I feel like I DESERVE my two hour special time alone in the afternoon!! I am so ashamed of myself. I am doing the same thing that I keep telling the girls not to do. I have just been having one big temper tantrum! Things didn't go my way and I pouted and made everyone else miserable because I was MAD! GOOD GRIEF! Will I ever mature past this? Probably not, but for now, I think I have gotten a little perspective. God must have gotten a good laugh over me disiplining the girls for throwing a fit today!

Thank You, Lord for reminding me what is truly important and how rich my life is with blessings! Thank You, Lord, that I can start fresh tomorrow! Thank You, Dan, for loving me with Jesus' perfect love, ALWAYS.

Trust Jesus

As we learn more about God we store those truths in our hearts. I have many truths about God stored in my heart. I know for a fact that He provides every need. I know that He directs my path. I know these things and because I know them it makes it a little easier to trust Him with each step. This time when Dan and I felt the call to leave White Suphur Springs to attend Seminary I didn't panic or fight it. I know from past experience that to follow God's call is more exciting than scary.

That doesn't mean that I don't have momentary lapses in faith. The closer this next step gets the more nervous I have become. I know in my heart that God will provide. Dan and I have decided to trust God to provide for us to make it through Seminary debt free. Like I said, I know in my heart that Jesus can do it. My brain is not so faithful.

Last night I had the opportunity to meet two missionaries to Pakistan. These two single women devoted their lives to serve God in a boarding school for missionary children in Pakistan. Eunice, shared her story and God, once again, brought peace to my heart and my brain. She wanted to teach in the mission field but didn't have the money to get through school. She prayed and believed that if God wanted her to go abroad that He would provide the money for her education. She made it through school with out debt and ended up in Pakistan right after graduation.

I shared with Eunice how God had used her testimony in my heart. She responded by sharing this: You know, working with children I have had to apologize for so many things. I have said things or done things that hurt others and I had no idea of the damage I was doing. I hate having to apologize for things that I unintentionally did. But there is one thing that I will never have to apologize for, I will never have to apologize for telling others to trust in Jesus. That is one thing that I am confident will never change or let us down.

Those words have been etched on my heart. I have been thinking of that all day today. Out of all the things that I do in my life, there is only one thing that will not pass away or lose importance, that is telling others to trust in Jesus. I am willing to give Jesus this unkown we are facing. I know that it will be in more able hands than my own. What a weight was lifted off my sholders last night! The only thing that matters in life is helping others to Trust in Jesus! That is my calling. I know that God will be glorified through the testimony of His provision for my family through Seminary and for ever more!! SO, where ever you are and what ever you are doing, You CAN trust Jesus. He is love and Love NEVER FAILS! Thank You, Lord.

Happy Birthday Papa!!

Today is my Daddy's birthday! I wish so much that we could be with him to wish our many happy regards. But hopefully this picture will help to close the gap of miles between us. We love you Papa and hope that you have a great day!!!

To Spank, or Not to Spank

Disciplining my children is all consuming. I feel like I am always telling someone "no" or "please don't do that". Time-out is a regular everyday thing. Spankings bring tears and it is all so very emotionally taxing to us all. When the girls misbehave we say that the offender is going to "have some discipline" just to keep them guessing. It really all depends on the offense and those words alone are enough to strike fear in the heart of our children.

I often get quite amused with the initial reaction on the girls faces when they get caught disobeying. The face either turns bright red or ghostly white and is often followed with a very sweet smile and sheepish giggle. I have grown cold to this kind of persuasion. Fortunately I remember that gut-wrenching feeling of being found out and all at once regretting what a moment ago seemed like such a good idea. That rememberance has helped me to check my anger in order to correct and discipline with a true desire to teach my girls what is pleasing, not only to Dan and I, but to God as well. Granted that isn't always the case. To my extreme displeasure, I do still lose my temper and get angry. Though I have learned that discipline during those times of anger only do more damage than good.

FaithLyn has started to exert her control over those younger and smaller than her by grabbing toys and yelling, "MINE!" Dan has been addressing this issue with her and today I heard her singing, "Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine". I thought that's what I heard but wanted to give her teh benefit of the doubt. So I asked her. SHe looked at me and said, "No, Mommy, I was saying Oh, My, Oh, My because Elise was closing the door." Clever girl!! At that point I had to recognize that I had trapped her. I knew for sure now that I had heard her correctly the first time and she was in fact lying to me. Lying in our house is a BIG "NO, NO". But How do I handle this because instead of asking her what she said I should have told her what I heard, not giving her the chance to make up a story. Well, I sent her to sit on my bed and wait for me while I talked to Elise about slamming the door. Actually, I was trying to buy time to figure out what to do.

What did I do? Well, FaithLyn, when asked what happens when we lie, said she should have a spanking. Not every offense deserves a spanking but lying is definitely one that is spankable. She has been testing us on this for a while and I want to be consitent in what is right and wrong but I couldn't help feeling like I had trapped her into lying. When I asked her why she was in trouble she knew what she did wrong. She immediately confessed to saying mine but wasn't so concerned with the fact that she hadn't told Mommy the truth the first time. So I compromised and gave her a hand spanking and we talked about telling the truth the first time every time.

So far, this is the HARDEST part of parenting. I have all these complicated feelings rushing around inside my heart. I want to love my children enough to teach them the hard lessons now instead of them learning them on their own later. But I am so afraid of losing their love. Isn't that crazy? I never stopped loving my parents, in fact I ALWAYS respected them more for sticking to the boundries they set. They may not believe that because of the number of times that I tested them but it's true. Yet, I still want to be a friend to my girls sometimes more than I want to be the parent. The Heavy, the inforcer, the BAD GUY.

I just have to remember that there has to be a balance and God will be faithful to work in my girls hearts just as He works in mine. Love is a complicated thing and I am so glad that we have an able teacher in the Holy Spirit. I just have to be willing to be teachable. I am really not much different from my girls. I pray that I can love them as my Heavenly Father and my earthly Father have loved me.

Disciplining my children is all consuming. I feel like I am always telling someone "no" or "please don't do that". Time-out is a regular everyday thing. Spankings bring tears and it is all so very emotionally taxing to us all. When the girls misbehave we say that the offender is going to "have some discipline" just to keep them guessing. It really all depends on the offense and those words alone are enough to strike fear in the heart of our children.

I often get quite amused with the initial reaction on the girls faces when they get caught disobeying. The face either turns bright red or ghostly white and is often followed with a very sweet smile and sheepish giggle. I have grown cold to this kind of persuasion. Fortunately I remember that gut-wrenching feeling of being found out and all at once regretting what a moment ago seemed like such a good idea. That rememberance has helped me to check my anger in order to correct and discipline with a true desire to teach my girls what is pleasing, not only to Dan and I, but to God as well. Granted that isn't always the case. To my extreme displeasure, I do still lose my temper and get angry. Though I have learned that discipline during those times of anger only do more damage than good.

FaithLyn has started to exert her control over those younger and smaller than her by grabbing toys and yelling, "MINE!" Dan has been addressing this issue with her and today I heard her singing, "Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine". I thought that's what I heard but wanted to give her teh benefit of the doubt. So I asked her. SHe looked at me and said, "No, Mommy, I was saying Oh, My, Oh, My because Elise was closing the door." Clever girl!! At that point I had to recognize that I had trapped her. I knew for sure now that I had heard her correctly the first time and she was in fact lying to me. Lying in our house is a BIG "NO, NO". But How do I handle this because instead of asking her what she said I should have told her what I heard, not giving her the chance to make up a story. Well, I sent her to sit on my bed and wait for me while I talked to Elise about slamming the door. Actually, I was trying to buy time to figure out what to do.

What did I do? Well, FaithLyn, when asked what happens when we lie, said she should have a spanking. Not every offense deserves a spanking but lying is definitely one that is spankable. She has been testing us on this for a while and I want to be consitent in what is right and wrong but I couldn't help feeling like I had trapped her into lying. When I asked her why she was in trouble she knew what she did wrong. She immediately confessed to saying mine but wasn't so concerned with the fact that she hadn't told Mommy the truth the first time. So I compromised and gave her a hand spanking and we talked about telling the truth the first time every time.

So far, this is the HARDEST part of parenting. I have all these complicated feelings rushing around inside my heart. I want to love my children enough to teach them the hard lessons now instead of them learning them on their own later. But I am so afraid of losing their love. Isn't that crazy? I never stopped loving my parents, in fact I ALWAYS respected them more for sticking to the boundries they set. They may not believe that because of the number of times that I tested them but it's true. Yet, I still want to be a friend to my girls sometimes more than I want to be the parent. The Heavy, the inforcer, the BAD GUY.

I just have to remember that there has to be a balance and God will be faithful to work in my girls hearts just as He works in mine. Love is a complicated thing and I am so glad that we have an able teacher in the Holy Spirit. I just have to be willing to be teachable. I am really not much different from my girls. I pray that I can love them as my Heavenly Father and my earthly Father have loved me.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Today we have lived and worked here at White Sulphur Springs for four years. I think I am destined to live in four year segments. That's alright though. It will keep life interesting. I was thinking about how much our life has changed since we moved here. We came empty handed. No kids, no money, one little red car, and a washer and dryer. Now we have three beautiful little girls, enough money, a silver mini-van, and LOTS of stuff. Our lives have changed in more ways than what we have accumulated. Dan and I have grown more in love with each other, learned to communicate even better, we have learned just how important "date-night" is, Dan has learned to say what he is thinking and feeling and I am still learning how not to ALWAYS say what I am thinking and feeling. We learned to work together while Dan was a youth minister and God has helped us to enjoy working together and even depend on each other while working together here. This place will always be magical to me. So many people call this place home. I know why. No matter where you are stationed or what you are doing, no matter how busy or crazy life is, you can always come to White Sulphur Springs and slow down and get quiet enough to meet with Jesus.

He is always faithful to meet with us when we seek Him. I pray that I will not leave Him here until I am able to return. He is also faithful to walk with us down every path into every struggle and bend in the road. I think everyone has at least one place where God met with us, did some serious work in our hearts, and we treasure that place. It is great to have fond memories of a place but it is also easy to make the place what we are worshipping. The place isn't special, but the God who met us there IS.

My prayer is that I will have fond memories of what God has done and how He has met me in every place I will live, every stage of my life, and every struggle. I know for sure that I will always look back on this time in my life with joy. What a blessing to serve and be surrounded by "such a cloud of witnesses." If this is only the beginning of our journey I can't wait to continue! It will most definitely be a wild ride but how sweet are the blessings of a Lord who loves us!

If home is where the heart is, you better make sure and carry your heart with you where ever you go!!