You Don't Have to Clear Out Your Guestroom!

HOORAY! We have recieved our housing assignment for Seminary. Those of you who offered to let us live with you thank you, but you are off the hook. Chris Clayman, our soon to graduate Seminary attending friend, has offered to go and take pictures for us, inside and out! SO we will all know what we are getting in to soon enough. I will post more about this blessing when I know more. For now just know that God is so good!! He knows the desires of our hearts and He is so GOOD! OK, I'll tell you a little.

It's a three bedroom, 1 & 1/2 bath house. It has a back yard, a garage AND, now this is the big one, washer/dryer hook-ups!! I have been preparing myself for coin laundry so this is such a huge blessing!! That's only the tip of my enthusiasm, I'll spill more enthusiasm later!!

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

OH MY GOODNESS! I have been so busy with all three girls that I haven't even had time to want Olivia to grow up. I like her being dependant on me because that means she only goes where I take her. Do you see what she did tonight? She isn't crawling yet, but it won't take long! Do you see that look in her eyes? It's all over for me! Trouble is about to start crawling around my house!

How do I know she is trouble? Two reasons: 1. You can see it written all over her face. 2. She got up on her knees 3 times tonight. The first time she just did it. The next two times she did it because we asked her to and she liked the attention she got for performing.

SO take FaithLyn's eagerness to please and Elise's stubborn independance and you have our third child, Olivia. Lord, Help Us!

Discipline

I was reading Erin's blog and she was answering a friend's blog. I was very interested in the topic and it got me thinking. Erin's friend Jamie asked everyone to post about their understanding of discipline. I don't know how to make links so you'll have to go to GerltHouse to check out Erin's blog and Jamie's is Embracing My Lot. It's definitely worth a look up.

We get so many chances to hear so many Godly speakers here at WSS. This is just a breeding ground for spiritual growth. We get all the good parts of the Body of Christ and only a very few of the hard stuff. I was listening in on a lady's retreat one time and this was one of the stories the speaker told. She grew up Southern Baptist(Not a kick in the pants for Baptists just the story she told) and with that learned a deep reliance on discipline. When she didn't get a chance to have her quiet time she felt like she had failed God. She would beat herself up for failing and ruin her whole day. A close friend who happened to be some other demonination asked her, Don't you realize that God doesn't love you any less just because you didn't get in the Word today!? That story was an AHA!! moment for me. I have always known that God's love wasn't dependant on my actions but somewhere along the line I decided it made more sense to my human mind to only get as much love as I deserve. The only flaw in that theory is that I don't DESERVE any love. With out Christ I am nothing but a sinner. For so many years I have been either hot or cold in my disciplines. I am right on track with what I "should" be doing and then something happens to throw my schedule and I feel guilty and get burdened with guilt and just quit altogether because I don't want to merely "ACT" out of guilt. It is a vicious ridiculous cycle.

The last few years have given me a new perspective. I want with all my heart to WANT Christ more than anything else. I don't want to depend on a schedule or certain acts of obedience to love my Savior. That part of my is the reason I fight against schedules and routine. I want to love Him so much that I crave being in His presence. The reality is that I am a Wife and Mom. I am a Mom to a 3 yr. old, a 2 yr. old and a nursing 9 mo. old. That should indicate my great need for the Lord right there!! Once the girls get up our house is like a whirlwind until they are back in bed for the night. You see the key to discipline is desire. With out desire discipline is only rules. Rules aren't worth much if you don't understand why you are following them. Rules are pretty oppressive if they are just for the sake of having rules.

God has shown Dan and I some pretty unhealthy habits in our lives over the last few years. Out of a desire to eliminate the unhealthy patterns in our lives that seperate us from God we have set up some guidelines. Now remember, discipline with out desire is just rules and who needs more rules to follow anyway? But these guidelines are set up to help Dan and I have victory over the areas in our life that tend to hold us captive. These rules, guidelines, disciplines, what ever you call them are taking us one step closer to freedom and unity with our Lord. When we start to lose our desire for these standards we take a step back and reevaluate. Here is an example. I have a love-hate relationship with food. I love it and eat it for all the wrong reasons. I hate that I think about food all the time, what am I going to eat, what will be for dessert? I want to be free from this obsession with food because it affects so many other parts of my life. So, I am trying to limit my eating. One dessert a week, one Dr. Pepper a week, and smaller portions at meals, Healthy snacks. We went on vacation not long ago and we decided to go without the food restrictions for the week. The first few days I was shaky from too much sugar. But by the end of the week I was back to craving Dr. Pepper and sugary treats after every meal. When we got home life was crazy! There were other factors that added to the craziness but I felt like I was starting all over again with my eating issues. EXCEPT I knew where I had been and couldn't just jump right back to that place and I resented it! It was a slow start up process to get going again but when I did get going I was able to see despite the set back some of my new eating habits didn't change through the "off" period. SO even though I was starting over I wasn't starting from the same place. I have come to realize that those undisciplined times don't have to be desert times. They serve a purpose too. Now I am not saying just throw out all the disciplines and see how things go, but it is a cycle that leads us on a slow upward slope.

I used to look back on my time in college, pre-marriage, as my spritual mountain in life. But now I know that that high place was only a foot hill. And even though I don't have hours to study the word I have a maturity and knowledge of life that gives new depth to my relationship with the Lord. He is so Faithful!! Even when I don't make it a point to get up at 6 and read my chapters, He is still willing to meet with me. He comes to me!! WOW! To be pursued by the creator of the Universe while I am doing the umpteenth load of laundry, or picking up little tiny shoes for the tenth time, or trying to convince myself that McDonald's offers healthy choices for life, now that is humbling!

I think the most important thing I have learned about discipline is humilty. No matter what I do, it is still my God who pursues ME. And He will, no matter what I do. But I want to do what ever I can to be ready for Him. I want to be sensitive to the Spirit and be listening when He is ready to meet with me. If I am being "disciplined" for any other reason then it's all just rules!

Happy Easter!

How come the holidays that are supposed to mean the most, spiritually, that is, end up being the most frustrating? I already know the answer to that question. It is rhetorical.

The reason my blessed Easter morning went south is because of the expectations that I put on myself and my family. Every one is supposed to look nice on Easter morning so we got up and I fed Olivia while the girls looked at their goodies in their baskets. Thanks Nana and Mimi! Then we hopped into the tub for a fast bath. Did I mention that I got ready before the girls even got up. I just had to change into my Easter clothes. What could possibly make me late? I have almost 2 hours to bathe everyone and get dressed. Well, Olivia didn't get to take a bath. And we were still late for breakfast at the hotel. Then, when I got to the hotel there were no parking spots and I had to leave the van running and take the girls in and leave them with Dan, while he is trying to lead the meal, and go park the car. There was one parking spot left but someone whom shall remain nameless, parked his motorcycle just so that no one else could park in the staff parking. Which really wouldn't have mattered because I was late. SO I am walking into the dinning room with my hands full while breakfast is starting and everyone wants to stop and chat about how nice everyone looks. NO ONE offers to take one of the children I am holding, just chat. By the time I get the car parked and get seated at a table I am able to remove the scowl that has been plastered there for, oh, I'd say at least the last hour, and after collecting myself, enjoy a nice Easter breakfast of peach french toast and egg bake.

I have learned an important lesson while serving here at WSS. Holidays are stressful if you have expectations for them! What difference does it really make if everyone gets a bath on Easter Sunday? Who really cares if you don't get a family picture on EASTER? Take one the next day or the next Sunday. Today I cared and it ruined my morning! The day turned out to be a wonderful day but only after I was able to let go of my stupid need for control and perfection. I am learning, slowly, that life is much more enjoyable when the people you love are more important than the expectations you put on them.

Some of you who know how helpful Dan is with the girls might be asking where he was during this craziness. He left the house at 6:30 for the Sunrise service and was helping with the meal. Things always go much more smoothly when he is around. I am just thankful I didn't have to get everyone ready for that!!

Hope you all were able to enjoy and reflect on the gift that Jesus gave us when he was willing to lose His life inorder to gain eternal life for us all. Happy Easter!

The SIX Week Good-Bye

Look at these two girls and tell me they aren't the sweetest girls you have seen, at least today. On Wednesday we woke up and got ready for the day. We had to actually get ready because we had company coming to lunch. It was a beautiful warm day so we put on FaithLyn's little capri set my Mom sent for Christmas. FaithLyn said, "Mom, can Elise wear hers, too, and we can be matchy-matchy?" How could I say no? Then we went to get everyones hair done and in a moment of divine inspiration I desided to coax FL into letting me braid her hair. She was just to cute! Since Elise wants to look, say, and do everything exactly like FL we braided her's, too.

Why all the fuss? We had an interview lunch with the couple Dan and I are hoping to come and replace us here at the Springs. I didn't really think much about this until Tuesday morning when I went down into the basement for something and I realized they were probably going to want to see the house. This house will be there home if they take the position. It would be a good idea for everyone to walk through their home every once in a while and try to look at it like you have never been there before. Because when I did this, remembering that Joe and Heike(like Nike) would be coming, I was sent into a panic! Now let's take a small break to say that I was definitely over reacting. I am known to be a bit dramatic. But it was enough to enlist the help of the girls to do some quick tidying up.

I love this house! Unfortunately, I have learned that if you live in a large space, no matter how much or how little stuff you start out with, you will end up filling up the space you have! My house isn't cluttered, but when you have room to store things. . .well, you do. I found so much junk down in the basement. When I say junk I mean plastic bags and baby gift bags and lots of JUNK! We then moved upstairs and I cleaned off all the cluttered flat areas and then moved to my bookshelves. Our house has these two great big, really nice, built in book shelves. We own one small 3 foot book shelf. Enough said. But I did experience another break through while I was going through the books on the shelves. I realized that it was time to get rid of my college English and Speech books. As hard as it was for me to admit, I don't need them and who knows when or if I ever will again. Sniff. It was a sad moment but I recovered quite quickly. Purging is always so freeing for me. Anyway, All this to say I got a little crazy. The last effort I made to make the house more presentable was to wash off all of the cabinets and appliances in the kitchen. We had all kinds of unidentifiable. . . um, stuff dripping down those cabinets! The saddest thing about looking at my house with a new set of eyes was that it seemed dirty. Not just we didn't clean this week dirty, but "how do you people live like this" dirty. It's amazing how just a few hours of work remedied that situation. It's the little things that make a big difference.

Moving on, the day of the interview came and lunch was great. Dan and I were able to answer all of their questions honestly and openly. They looked at the house and made comments like, "Wow! These rooms are so big!" "I can't believe how big this house is!" "It sure is going to be hard for you guys to move to an apartment." They never mentioned the stained carpet, the walls needing a new coat of paint, the trashy flower beds, or any of the other things I couldn't get to before they came. I am really excited about this couple. My only regret is that we won't get to serve here with them. God willing, they will bring some great things to this ministry that Dan and I couldn't.

Some of you might be wondering why I freaked out about the state of the house. Let me explain. When we moved to the Springs to serve we lived in a suite on the second floor of the hotel. We had to use the hotel kitchen downstairs and we couldn't watch movies when people were staying in the hotel. One of the closets was going to be FaithLyn's nursery. It was prepared for her arrival. (Don't get me wrong, there were LOTS of great things about living in the hotel. But that's not what I am talking about.) Two weeks before FaithLyn's birth we were offered to move in here at "The Meadows". The family that lived here before us took very good care of this home and it was in excellent shape for us. This home has been one of God's perfectly timed blessings for us. I wasn't worried that Joe and Heike would discover my poor housekeeping skills. I was afraid they wouldn't see the tremendous amount of God's blessings that would be passed on to them through this house. I shouldn't have been worried. I am not the vehicle for ditribution of that blessing. The house speaks for itself. I also was afraid that my unexplainable gratitude and love for this house would not be seen if it didn't look cared for. A house is a big responsibility. A house the size of ours is a HUGE responsibility. I don't know why God chose to bless Dan and I with a house like this for our starter house but I do know that we have learned so much and I will never forget this blessing. I am comforted in knowing that if this is how God has blessed us here then I can't wait to see
what is around the corner.

The whole two day interview process was very long and emotional for me. I was very niave about how it would affect me. The thing that took me most by surprise though was the fact that this event started in motion a grieving process for everyone. I knew I would grieve in leaving this place. I thought everyone else would wait until we left to say goodbye. I am not sure if I am being overly sensitive or not but I feel a little tension with the other ministry team members. Perhaps it is just me trying to let go so that I am ready to leave or vice versa. But either way it has already begun. Dan is numb to this process that is so new to me. My only prayer is that in learning how to connect and disconnect in order to move with military life I hope I do not limit my relationships and emotions. I don't want to protect myself so well that I miss the deeper blessings that these hardships bring. I know God can turn everything that Satan means for harm into someting good and beautiful. Beauty from ashes, right? Well, I am willing to step into the purifying flames because I know Jesus is there waiting to walk with me through them.
Ok, I got a little overly dramatic again but, hey, that's just me!

Now it is Easter weekend!! Enough of this talk about endings. This weekend is about beginings! I never truly understood the beauty of Easter until we lived here. Why don't we make a bigger deal about it? This is the BIG ONE! Life everlasting, Christ ressurected, ALIVE!! Man, it makes me excited! I have goosebumps. Do you have goosebumps? HE IS ALIVE! Do you realize that? How long has it been since you really thought about what that means? WOW! HAPPY EASTER, ALL!

Life is in the Air

Living in the North has given me a new appreciation for the seasons. Here we actually have all 4 seasons! You know all those sayings you learned about the seasons and months? April showers bring May flowers. March comes in like lion out like a lamb. Well the people that created those must have lived in Pennsylvania. Growing up in Texas I always wondered which flowers were the special May flowers because anything that was going to bloom usually blooms in early March or April. The flowers are just starting to bloom here and by flowers I mean spring flowers like daffodils and crocus. The lilac bushes are just now starting to bud new leaves. And they won't bloom until late May. I find myself getting antsy waiting for the new life of spring. It is so fitting that spring actually takes place with Easter. Isn't Easter about the hope of life everlasting?

My first Easter here in Pennsylvania I was really sad because I had to wear my coat!! Everyone was wearing gloves and scarves for the Easter sunrise service. The next year it even snowed! I grew up wearing sundresses to the Easter egg hunts not sweaters! But I have grown to appreciate these seasons and fear that I will soon grow sick of the Texas heat. It is so different here. Here you know it is finally spring time when you rush outside because the sun is finally shining and you have to catch every moment you can. You usually see more of the moon than you do the sun. You stop changing your plans because of the rain and you learn the fine art of grilling in a downpour. At least that is what I have learned from the gift of the seasons.

Growing up in Texas I got about two weeks of fall and two weeks of spring. And it never rained! Since my dad was a farmer rain was a reason to celebrate and because I helped my dad on the farm my sister and I often prayed for rain and even participated in a few rain dances. Now the rain is like an annoying neighbor that has lived next door for so long that you live together in a comfortable state of annoyance. You always complain about them but as soon as they go anywhere you immeditely miss them. There have actually been times, living here, that I have prayed for the rain to go away and come again another day. Never for my own benefit, of course! Usually because Dan is out leading a Jr. AO! and it always rains on Jr. AO! This weekend was no exception.

But today. . .today the sun is shining and there is just a touch of green around the edges of the world. My world. Even though it is in the 50's, which by the way is winter in Texas, it is a perfect day for a walk and a BBQ! It is the kind of day that makes you feel alive, really alive. All the worries that kept you awake last night don't seem so worrisome in the bright sunshine. Nothing seems bad in the beauty of God's magnificent creation. I mean just take a moment to think about the fact that the earth is coming back to life! Just like our Savior did two thousand years ago. It makes my heart skip a beat! Spring and Fall. Those are my two favorite seasons!! You know dying is just as beautiful as rebirth. If you don't know it's because you have lived in West Texas all your life and have never seen a true Fall. You probably haven't had much experience with trees either. It will take your breath away just as Spring with cause you to take in a deep slow breath of life.

If you don't have time to experience this miracle then YOU ARE TO BUSY!!! GO outside and breathe LIFE!

Updates and Add-ons

There are a few details I forgot to mention about our vacation.
I forgot to tell you that on Tuesday I went for my second tanning session. About 4 or 5 hours later I noticed an uncomfortable pain all over my body! Needless to say I cancelled my next two tanning sessions and didn't get to go for my massage and facial. I can't tell you how silly I felt! But the pain is gone and all of the parts of my body that no one will ever see are a nice golden brown.
I also forgot to mention that my shopping trip was inspired by way to many episodes of TLC's show "What Not To Wear". The only purchase I am regretting are the pointy toed brown heels I bought. I only regret those because I think I might have bought them a half size to small. The hosts on the TV show always stress buying the right sizes, I guess I got a little carried away by the sale.

Just so you know where I am spiritually and what I am dealing with right now I'll tell you a few things I am mulling over.
Dan and I have been discussing what kind of work he should look for when we get to Ft. Worth. We aren't worrying, at least I am not, yet, but just thinking through our options. Dan would really like to find a job that utilizes the skills he has developed here. I said, OK, let's find a church where you can serve as a college minister. I am not sure that is exactly what he had in mind but it is still an option. He wants to start an Adventure Guide business and work with churches. There are numerous options, some others are: gutter cleaning, window washing, landscaping. All of which, I pointed out, would need a truck in order to make happen. Dan will do well with what ever God places him in, But we are just praying and planning right now. I know God has a plan and I am very open to what ever it is and at this point I am not in a crazy rush to find out. We'll talk in a few months and the story may be different.

I was reading Proverbs this morning and these verses just popped out at me and has stuck with me all day, "The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty." Proverbs 21:5 and "A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor." Proverbs 22:9 These two particular verses grabbed me because I think Dan is honoring God in both of these and they give me uspeakable comfort and peace. I know that Dan will be diligent in providing for us and he is so very generous! I have learned so much from him about giving to others. I have always loved to share what I have and I have been so blessed to be united with someone who shares my passion and even exceeds it! I know that in a few months we will be in a new economical situation. But I dare not say we are poor! In the eyes of the government we are poor right now. But I have never been so blessed financially or any other way. So I feel certain that our new circumstances will not change the heart of my husband for others. That makes my heart swell with gratitude to the Lord for such a husband. I am also thankful that he is planning looking forward but not so much that he is missing the here and now. It is fine balance. I am sure you bread winners out there understand the balance much better than I. At a time when I should be getting more and more nervous about the instability of our future my Lord is giving me an overwhelming sense of calm and peace. Our world is so busy and fretful any way, I am thankful to not have to join that busyness just yet.
May the peace of God's assurance and provision rest on you all this day and always.

Vacation 2006

What a week! We had the best time despite the cold that we all shared and the late nights up with coughing children. Let me start from the beginning.
We got there late Friday night just in time to get everyone in bed by 10:00. The next day started earlier than Dan expected. He woke up to find Elise trying to open the door and walk outside. Thank goodness we deadbolted the door! Just a side note: the first night of vacation in a new place isn't the best time to allow your 2 yr. old to sleep for the first time in a "big girl bed". Several hours later Dan came back to bed. I woke up thinking someone was breaking in to the house!
Saturday Dan took the girls for a swim in the gigantic jacuzzi tub in one of the bathrooms. Then we waited for Dan's high school friend Stephen Burden and his family to come for a visit. We had a great time. Stephen and Kendra have two daughters, Skyler, 5 and Haven, 2. The girls had a really great time playing together and I had a great time getting to know Kendra. It was a lot of fun and another late night for the girls.
We debated whether or not we should go to church but decided against it. Instead we slept in and made sure the girls got good naps. That night we went in to Harrisonburg to visit Dan's cousins, Keith and Kim Sandum and Ian. Kim took me to the Green Valley Book Fair. Ok, imagine a child walking into Toys-R-Us and someone telling that child that for today only everything is only $1. That's how I felt walking into this place! I found all kinds of great books I haven't been able to find anywhere else and none of them were more than six dollars!! While I was at the book fair Dan was being schooled on Dance Dance Revolution. We had a great visit with Keith, Kim and Ian.
Monday I went for my first tanning session. Then I took the girls to the real swimming pool and let Dan rest. That afternoon I got a pedicure and Dan took the girls swimming at a different pool. Then Dan's high school friend, Dave, came for dinner and a visit. It was great to catch up.
Tuesday we visited the Harrisonburg Children's Museum. It was a 100% hands on kids museum. It wasn't very big but it was so Great!! They had a garden that the kids could dig in. A market they could shop at, a full kitchen, child size, a barn, a small house in various stages of being built, a theater with lights, costumes, and make-up center, and a station where you just take things apart. There was a broken printer and other things that you could just tear apart. It was the best! The girls had a great time. Then spent a quiet evening at home.
Wednesday we went to the WaterPark! What fun!! Besides the fact that we spent only four hours total at the park it was a great time! We went for 2 hours in the morning, all of which we spent at the Frog Pond. The frog pond is the toddler area with bouncy chairs for babies and a two foot frog slide. We went home for nap time and came back to spend 2 more hours at the frog pond. Dan and I took turns going on other rides but it just wasn't as fun without anyone to scream with. We had a good time and the girls had a great time. It was worth it.
Thursday I went shopping. All by myself. It was great! I spent lots of money and I liked it!!
The next morning we got all packed up and drove home.

The next few days have been . . . predictable. The girls are crazy, the house is a wreck, our schedule is a joke, and now Dan is gone to his Challenge Course Conference until Thursday evening.
All that aside, we had a GREAT week! It was so much fun and very well worth it!! It's good to be back home and before you know it I'll have the girls and this house whipped back into shape! It never hurts to think positively!