Well, FaithLyn is an old pro at this school thing now. I had to take a picture to document her first actual day of class. She looks even more grown up in this picture than the day before! She has had so much fun and is counting down the days until she gets to stay all day.
I on the other hand hit a bit of a wall. Today, it all sank in. I am thankful I had a week between FL starting K and Elise starting Pre-K. I am pretty sure I couldn't have handled it all at once.
It didn't help that Steven Curtis Chapman was on Focus on the Family this week. They were discussing the recent accidental death of their sweet little girl Maria. She was 5. It all came clear to me today how extremely blessed I am to be able to walk FaithLyn through this next step in life. It feels like the first step in a long line of many that usher her into Independence. I know that is the ultimate goal. It is right and good. But DANG if it doesn't all happen TOO fast! The Focus on the Family show ended today with Steven singing his song Cinderella. It's already a tear jerker about a little girl asking her daddy to help her practice her dancing for the ball with the prince, then for prom and then for her wedding. Well the chorus is something like, So I will dance with Cinderella while she's still right here in my arms cuz I know something the prince never knew, that soon she'll be gone. The song ended with with the chorus but He changed it a bit. "So I'll dance with Cinderella, while she's still here in my arms cuz I know something the prince never knew.....The Dance still goes on."
No joke, if the girls hadn't been in their room playing nicely they would have been worried about me. I was SOBBING curled up on the chair in the fetal position! Yeah, I lost it. You see there is so much emotion going on in my heart right now. I am SOO excited to see FaithLyn and Elise and Olivia and Judson growing and maturing and learning to love others and God. It's one of the most important things I will ever do with my life, direct their hearts to our Saviour. I love seeing them learn to be kind and put the truth of the Word of God to work in their lives. I WANT them to grow up and become contributing adults who make an impact on the world for Christ. Oh, but when I get a glimpse of what that means. Ultimately, when they leave to create those lives........with. out. me. It's like the most wonderful, heart-breaking feeling in the world.
Maybe it isn't so awful to have to wipe noses and bums all day. To have to refill sippy-cups and play endless-mindless games all day, well, maybe that isn't so beneath me! Maybe I can endure that for a while longer and perhaps even CHERISH those things. The 50 pairs of tiny panties I wash every week. The stains I am constantly working on. Those impossible to clean sippy-cup lids. The ALWAYS dirty floor under the table. The constant picking up. I mean, really, what WILL I do with myself when I am successful at eliminating these tasks from my everyday? I am not quite ready to be planning weddings and sending my sweet children to start their own families just yet. So for a while longer I will be content and even satisfied with what each day brings my way.
Oh Lord, do help me to CHERISH my children every moment. I pray that I will give of myself so much that I am lost and they only see YOU. May my husband and children be blessed daily by who You are creating me to be. And above all, I pray that Dan and I mirror for them an image of You that is so attractive they NEVER desire anything else!