An Organized Heart

My heart often flip flops between desiring order and chaos. The chaotic times send my heart trembling back, head hanging low, crying out in desperation for order. Then when a livable amount of order is established that same heart recklessly and with full abandon runs screaming wildly into chaos.

Right now, I just want some regularity. My baby is almost 8 months. This is usually when it starts to set in........THE CHANGE. I can feel the tremors and desperation setting in. It's probably because I have just been surviving for so long and now mere survival is no longer enough. We need to thrive. And I can not thrive in chaos, why should I expect my children to?

It has taken me a LONG time to admit that I am not a spontaneous free-spirit. I never really thought I was but having to admit that I am power-driven and control-hungry......well that just isn't as flattering, now is it? Thankfully, having an organized home and heart doesn't have to be about power or control. That's probably why it's so hard for me to accomplish.

There are so many things that I want to do and be as a Wife and Mom. If I just float through each day reacting to the immediate then all of those ideals that I have for my family wash away with the laundry and dishes. I am no longer satisfied with just making it through the day. Yet there are days that I must be satisfied with survival. What I have learned is that I will never accomplish anything with out a plan.

If being a wife and mother and keeper of the home is my job; I need to take it seriously. For me that means making a plan and making plans starts with making goals. Once the goals are established then I form my plan of action and that plan of action usually ends up being a schedule. I always tell myself I hate schedules. I don't like to feel tied down. But really I am just scared of failure. What if I can't do it. What if I realize how poorly I am equipped to do this thing that will shape four little people into who they will be.......Or what if I get tied to the schedule and forget about the people it is supposed to benefit?
I am breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking of it. But then from deep within a warm comforting peace starts to calm me from the inside out. It's not my job to ensure success in my children. It is not my job to be a successful Mom. Don't get me wrong I want to be a great Mom, and I want to produce God-followers, but the results of motherhood can't be measured in success and failure.

Happy Easter!

Trip to Nana & Papa's

A little birthday cookie cake
Papa was initiating Judson into his club, the HeMan Woman Haters

Fortunately, it didn't stick.......yet.

Everyone got to do things that Mommy wouldn't normally allow!

Well, As you can see we had a great time with Nana and Papa. Everyone learned lots of useful things from Papa. Judson got some really good Manly time with his Papa. They were laughing and talking the whole time. Every time Papa would come in the house from working or outside Judson would look for him and talk/scream to get his Papa's attention. By the end of our time together they had each other pretty well trained.

We are sure glad to have Daddy home safe and sound. There was only one trip to the ER and it had nothing to do with Skiing, only a few stitches required and all is well. It was a successful trip and I think Dan is grateful it is OVER! I have a feeling there will not be another ski trip planned for a few years.

Hope you all are enjoying your last days of Spring Break. Happy Good Friday that leads to the most important holiday of all......Easter! Many Blessings as you reflect on the goodness of our God who gave so much to reconcile us all to himself!

SPRING BREAK 2008!

Dan is off to Colorado to ski with the Youth Group and we are off to the Panhandle to see Nana and Papa!!

Enjoy your week if you get one!

Are YOU Springing Forward?

I didn't spring. I flopped and stumbled and am still yawning my way through the first week of this dreaded time change! The kids are tired and irritable, I am tired and irritable. Remind me again why we do this? Is it for economic reasons? IS THERE A REASON?! There sure better be a good one!

Good, now I've got that off my chest.......

Hope you all are adjusting well!

Just some Pictures

Our Livingroom campout

Bath time!
Sweet 4 yr old Haircut

I Had Forgotten What a Clean Bathroom Felt Like

That is of course until yesterday. I finally did it. I CLEANED MY BATHROOM! I won't divulge how long it's been since this happened last because well, let's face it, it's just too embarassing! This morning I awoke to a tidy home and it seemed like the sun was shining brighter!

The whole day progressed like a dream. I was even able to keep the momentum going and got all the floors cleaned as well. This is the first time since we moved into this house 11 months ago that my WHOLE house is clean without company coming!

Now I know that most of you moms out there already know this because you keep your house clean, but humor me anyway, ok? The attitude of the whole family is more stable when my home is clean and in order. It is like a machine. When well oiled and cared for it works well. When the house is in disrepair, the family soon follows suit. I know that children crave routine. Once they get a taste of it they are hooked! Perhaps it is the control they feel that lends a comfort to them. They may not be IN control but knowing what's going to happen next gives them a sense of control or at least expectation and awareness.

As for myself, I can think again. I can think about things I have committed to do with out an overwhelming sense of dread. I am no longer stuck underneath a mountain of filth that I am responsible for cleaning. It is always so hard for me to dig myself out when I let things pile up. I spend days, weeks, and sometimes months dreading the huge task, all the while watching it morph in size by the minute!

When I finally do gain the courage to battle the monster I have created I am always encouraged by how much more quickly it is usually resolved than I anticipated. Then I am free to look back and figure out how to keep myself from doing the same thing again. At the moment I am trying to figure out how to organize and mainstream my laundry room and ironing. Well, let's face it I don't iron. But I would like to take on this chore and defeat it! Unfortunately I usually like the planning and organizing much more than the follow through. For now we are just going to focus on the positives!

I have book checked out from the church library called Frugal Luxuries : Simple Pleasures to Enhance Your Life and Comfort Your Soul by Tracey McBride.
I got sucked in by the chapter on laundry. So now I am wracking my brain to come up with some solutions to get my laundry room organized. Right now we have laundry baskets in each room. So the clothes stay hidden from view and I have to sort and transport them to the laundry room. I need a sorting system IN the laundry room. I want to just go buy one but that wouldn't take any creativity now would it? Any ideas for something that would not be an eye sore?

Just in Case you were Wondering.....

Olivia is in BIG GIRL training. Yup, that's right, IT IS POTTY TRAINING TIME around here. So if you were wondering where I have been, well, back and forth between the potty and the washing machine!

Today she went potty at church! Woohoo! That is the first time she went potty somewhere other than home. That's big stuff to us potty trainers! She is getting the hang of it, slowly but surely.