Our Blessing Tree

I love fall. November and December are my two favorite months of the year. So many fun things happen in November and December. Fall, my birthday, Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas. I just love it all!

Last year, Dan and I started thinking seriously about traditions and how we want our family to celebrate holidays. I had this idea to help us celebrate Thanksgiving. It took me two years to impliment it but it's ready now. I copied a few leaf templates off of the family fun website (one of my links) and then traced and cut out a whole bunch of leaves on fall colored card stock. Now there are several ways to do that that are all tons easier. You can even buy the leaves cut out or have some sut out for you at most school supply stores for pretty cheap. But I was trying not to spend any money and I already had the card stock and I could do the work myself.

I did pay to have them laminated. It probably cost less than a dollar. Then I cut them out again. That's as far as I got last year.

This year we cut holes in the leaves and tied some hemp on to hand them. My original idea was to make a garland but this year I decided to make a tree. This way the girls get to help every year. I simply went outside, and thanks to that good 'ole Texas wind, found some branches that had fallen from our pecan tree. Then I got one of my empty pots, found some rocks and put the branches in. I taped them together so they wouldn't shift around. Then the girls hung the leaves. I fished out my black dry erase marker and put it in the pot with the rocks and then I picked a leaf and wrote our first blessing on our blessing tree.

Last night Judson slept from his last feeding until I woke him up for his first feeding this morning!! Praise the LORD! And he slept all the way through his first morning nap and is sleeping now!!! After the day we had yesterday this is a much needed blessing!

Fall Fun

I know that as Christians there are a lot of different perspectives on Halloween. We have never put a whole lot of emphasis on it in our family. But I think it's fun to dress up and I also think carving pumpkins is fun. This was the first time the girls got to do it. Well, actually they got to watch Dan and I do it. But FaithLyn doesn't really like to get dirty anyway.

Our friends invited us to have dinner and carve pumpkins and I never pass up an opportunity to have someone else cook dinner! That sweet looking boy is Callon. He is good friends with FaithLyn and Elise. His little brother Jace and Olivia hang together. We had a fun time. It's finally feeling like fall around here. We had our first frost last night and it is cooling off pretty quickly at night now. I love Fall!

Dan made me pose for a picture since I am never in any so here's the token mom picture. You probably won't see another one for a while. It's a football night, our last home game tonight. I am proudly sporting my Hawks shirt. If only my high school friends could see me now. We were the Longhorns, red and black, growing up. Our rivals were the Wirlwinds, green and white. The Hawks, ironically, are green and white. But football is pretty important around herea and several of our youth play so I sport the green proudly and offer my support. It's fun to feel like I am in the club when I go around town and everyone else is wearing their green too.

Oh, and those are Floydada pumpkins, by the way! Nothing but the best for us!!!

Let's be Honest

Ok, really....Most of you that read this know me. Some of you know me well enough to know that I may appear to have it all together but in reality it just APPEARS that way. Not that I try to pretend.......

Well, ok, I did say we should be honest. I caught myself the other day, pretending. The saddest part was that I was doing a miserable job at it. Why is it that as soon as you start trying to appear like you are Wonder Woman/ Super Mom that is inevitably the moment that everything falls apart! I'm not really asking. I know why. I serve a God that loves me enough to not let me pretend for a moment that I can do it all without Him.

The day of our churches child/baby dedication was the day that the Lord chose to show me my inability to be Wonder Woman/Super Mom. The week before the dedication Dan and I picked out meaningful verses for each of our children, we wrote heart-felt letters, we were ready to publicly dedicate our children to the Lord. That morning I was a frazzled MESS! I almost cried a million times that morning, I yelled at my children, tried to fool my parents into believing I can do it all so they would be super proud, floated through church like a zombie and finally succumbed to the tears when we got home and I faced the task of making lunch.

What did I accomplish by this little one person production? I will tell you what I didn't accomplish. I didn't prove to anyone that I am a better mother based on how my children look on Sunday mornings. I didn't fool my parents. They know me to well. They already think I am a good mother, though. They love me to well. I didn't enjoy this meaningful opportunity to dedicate, publicly, my children's lives to the Lord. I don't even remember it! You want to know what I remember? I remember Elise climbing up on the stage and then sitting down on the steps. I remember Olivia talking and crying because she wanted to be with Nana in the pew. I remember squeezing Elise's shoulder to get her to stand still, making her cry......during the prayer of dedication. I remember thinking, "Everyone is looking at us and what are they going to think of this Youth Minister and his family?"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? What has happened to me? Since when did I care what they thought? Well, I have always cared but I haven't been sleep deprived enough to let anyone know it. It has always been my "act" to seem disintrested in the opinions of others.

It is an act.

It is my way of protecting myself. If I act like I don't care then if they don't like me maybe it won't hurt so bad. Well. It usually doesn't consume me like it did that day. But the ugliness of it came crashing in on me hard! I have a two-month old son. OK!!! I do not have it all together! I am TIRED. I reach a point almost every day that if one more child comes and asks me for something I will LOOSE IT!!

BUT, I can not even imagine doing anything else in the world. I don't have to have it all together to be a good mom. I don't even have to pretend to have it all together! Why do I try?
I often get so focused on portraying the wonderful life that God has given me and that I rejoice in daily that I forget to actually enjoy the wonderful life that God has given me. Am I alone out there? Come on Moms, give me some love. I am not the only one out there that tries to appear like Super Mom . . . . . am I???

Even if I am the only one, I am NOT Super Mom. I am just, Kelli. Daughter of the Most Holy God, wife of Daniel, mother of FaithLyn, Elise, Olivia, and Judson. That is enough. That is all I need to strive for.

No more pretending........Not today anyway, I already burned our dinner!

My Poor Little Man

I have been so frustrated with the progress, or should I say Lack of Progress!, with Judson. You see, I am a Babywiser. I schedule my kids. The others have done really well with it and it helps me know what to expect. Anyway, all that aside, it just hasn't been working with Judson. He cries A LOT! I cry a lot, too. He isn't sleeping through the night and he is very rarely just content. I was beginning to take it personally.

Do you other Moms ever have moments where you finally can see all the hard things from a different perspective and you realize they aren't just hard for the sake of being hard. There really is something wrong. Then you sheepishly look down and shuffle your feet and mumble, "Oh, that's why things have been so hard."

About two weeks ago I took Judson to the doctor for a cough. We had been passing this cough around for about a month and half so I assumed he had finally gotten it from his overly affectionate sisters. The doctor quickly diagnosed reflux and prescribed some medication to help strengthen the muscle that closes off the stomach from the esophagus. Anyway, I was doubtful of the diagnosis. So for the last two weeks I have been thinking that Jusdon was purposefully waking up at night just to keep me from getting a good nights sleep. Then he purposefully doesn't sleep during nap time so he can yet again keep me from getting some much needed sleep. It was all very personal! That little toot was doing this on purpose! I mean good grief he is huge! He shouldn't have any trouble sleeping! And why does he insist on waking up 45-50 mins into each nap!? He must have it in for me!

Well, this morning after a rough night, I was ready to give up. I went into my room, hid behind the bed and curled up in the fetal position and cried. I am a little sleep deprived. While I was praying that God would have mercy on my sad little soul I realized that maybe I should do a little research into this reflux thing. Thank you, Lord for placing that thought in my mind.

When I looked it up on the internet everything started to make sense. All of the symptoms. The fussiness, ALL DAY! The waking at night with bouts of screaming. The gagging and coughing, the wheezing, the spitting up. So, at this point I sheepishly look down at my feet and say, "Oh, that's why things have been so hard."

Now that I am armed with the knowledge of what this really is, even though the doctor already told me!, I can do it. You see, I was expecting things to work a certain way. With FaithLyn and Elise it worked. Then I thought about Olivia, hmmm....It makes sense now. She must have dealt with this too. She had all the same symptoms. Except she cried all night and Judson cries all day. With Olivia I kept trying to make her do it my way and she was not physically able. I wasn't doing anything wrong and as soon as her reflux got better then all the work that we had done on shedule just fell into place. But unfortunately she never was a great sleeper like the other girls. I was determined not to make that mistake again. And here we are!

Oh well, at least we caught it this time. I am so thankful for a doctor who listened to me and diagnosed the problem quickly. Now that I have faced reality that it's just going to be different I can hopefully move forward. I realize now that letting him sleep in the rocker during the day is ok. He has to sleep and letting him cry only makes his reflux worse. Giving him his pacifier isn't going to keep him from learning to go to sleep on his own. I am not going to rely on these things but I will now allow myself to use these things as a resource to help get through this. This will not last forever!

I will sleep peacefully again......someday. I have hope again. That's all I needed. I had it all along and I refused to grasp it and hold on tight. I will now. I am hanging on for dear life to the hope that this to shall pass.

How often have I done this is other areas of my life? I have certain expectations for how things should go and I miss all the signs that things are just different this time. I keep trying to fit life or God or people into these neat little boxes that I can understand. Sometimes it works. But most times life is just MESSY! I keep trying to tell myself I have it all figured out and then BAM! something comes along and I have to face the fact that I still have a lot of learning to do. No matter how many kids we have each one will be different and things that worked once might not ever work again! That's life. I don't really want to have it all figured out, do I?

Two Months. . . .only two?

Our little man is two months old. I have to keep telling myself that this little guy is only two months old. For some reason I keep trying to push him on to the next stage. Sleeping through the night would be nice. . .but I am not sure why I can't get my mental time lapse to line up with reality.

We took Judson and Olivia to the doctor this morning. Olivia has ear infections in both ears and the doctor thinks Judson has reflux. I am not so sure about that one but we will see. Anyway, the exciting part for me was the part where they weigh everyone. I have been so anxious to see how much chunky monkey man weighs. They weighed him with his clothes on so it isn't official but today he weighed 13 lbs 2 oz. That's one pound shy of doubling his birth weight. But now I know he can sleep through the night!!! SO he has a few more days then the night time trips to the all night all-you-can-eat milk bar are done!!!

This weekend is baby dedication at church and we are dedicating all the kiddos since we never had a chance before. We wrote them letters and picked a verse. They will open their letters on their 12th birthday's. My parents are getting to come up for it and I am so excited to make it a special day for our family. The girls are just pumped that Nana and Papa are coming! Hopefully pictures of that special event will be coming soon!

Jud-the-Stud and little Livy

Next week we are going for Judson's two-month check up. I have a hard time believing it has only been two months! SO much has happened in that short time and well, look at him! He's huge! I have never had a baby this big at 8 weeks! Perhaps I just forget after having little Olivia. She was so small for so long. But he's doing really well. He can hold his head up off of my sholder when I am holding him. I don't even have to hold his wobbly head anymore. He is so strong! If I hold his head or try to make him lay it down on my shoulder he gets pretty upset with me.


















They say everything is bigger in Texas.....




















These are just some cute pictures of Olivia. She found Daddy's hat and I just couldn't resist a few shots.


















Does this one look like trouble or what?!

FUN Friday

Welcome to the Goose Park. That's what we call it anyway. Since FaithLyn has started to Preschool I am trying to make Fridays special for the kiddos at home. Sometimes that means we have our own little preschool class and sometimes it means we have a special trip somewhere. This time we went to the park to play.




It was fun to see the girls run and play. I tried to take lots of pictures because somehow that makes it seem so much more special. Well, that and to make up for my lack of pictures over this last crazy month we have been through.

Our 5 Year Old!

FaithLyn had her 5th birthday on Sept. 20. She had quite a birthday, too. She got to celebrate twice! Her actually birth day was spent at Nana and Papa's house. Memaw made her a yummy cake and she got to open her presents from Nana and Papa and one from Mimi and PopPop.
That was a quickly planned and executed visit so I forgot to pack the camera. "Shoot, where's the camera?" is going to be my new catch phrase.



Let me introduce you to the newest member of our family. This cute little pup is Shelby/Sarah. FaithLyn has never asked for any specific toy for her birthday or ever for that matter so this year when she asked for a Puppy Grows and Knows Your Name(Yes, that is the name of this toy!) I was heartbroken when I found out how much it cost. Too much for our budget. But Nana and Papa pulled through and we are now the happy owners of Shelby. The girls were so excited when FaithLyn opened the present! I told FaithLyn she better give Nana and Papa a big hug and Elise went immediately to give hugs too. She knows the rules all to well at our house. We share all the toys here so FaithLyn fun new toy would be fun for all!
She also got lots of great new clothes and some great new Adventures in Odessy to listen to at night, thanks to Mimi and PopPop.


I am usually not a big fan of lots of presents and getting exactly what you want but this time it was ok. My mom needed a reason to be super extra good to the girls and since we all share ALL of our toys in our house it works out for everyone.


She was pretty proud of her birthday cake. She picked out that cake all by herself. It was pretty cute, I have to say. Dan and I decided to get her an easel for her birthday. She is always asking me if we can paint or do a craft. This way I can give her a little help and she can get going on her own. Thanks to Nana and Papa she now has a large supply of art materials that are all hers and easily accessable.
When we got home on Saturday we had our little birthday celebration with Daddy. He had to stay and work so he missed the other party.

But Daddy knows how to make a day special. We went to The Plex, a family fun center and he took FaithLyn and Elise both riding on the bumper cars and then we all went on the bumper boats. THen we went inside to add to the frenzy of children pouring money and tokens into the games for those little tickets that will redeem for tacky and useless prizes. We didn't stay there long. Mommies nerves were unable to take the chaos for very long.
All in all, I would say FaithLyn had a pretty eventful birthday week. We sure are thankful for our sweet girl!
Happy Birthday, FaithLyn!