Life Goes On

Well, it's the official start of the new spring semester for Dan at Southwestern. We are trying something new this semester. Dan is going to take a full course load and try to get a campus job. He must first finish his paper for the J-term class he just took. It's due tomorrow by 5pm. I have never been so ready for a class to be over with!! This J-term class was a lesson we learned the hard way! But I am so proud of Dan for sticking with it. Believe me it hasn't been easy! So once this paper is done and Dan begins his classes on Monday then it will be the official start of something new for us. Since we know that God has called us here to do this we are trying what ever we can think of to make it through with out sacrificing what is most important, our love for the Lord and our family. SO, this is the next step in trying to figure it all out.

I decided that with this new step it was time to stop living like we are in transition. I am so tired of thinking we might not be here long! I am tired of waiting for something big to happen. All of that waiting is distracting me from what God has for me right here and right now. I took a long hard look at how things WILL be changing for us, new semester, less income, hopefully more of Dan. And it's not all bad. We have lots of great friends in the area, a fantastic church, and a few churches who are still remotely intrested in us. We have family in the same state for the first time in 4 1/2 years. We have an opportunity to go back to White Sulphur Springs for the Senior Staff Reunion!!! Dan is going to have 24 credits at the end of this semester!! And the stomach bug has been absent from our home for at least 72 hours!! There is a lot to smile about around here. Did I mention we even got an inch of snow this week!!?

It's a little late but I have decided to look at this year as the year of opportunity. Every day holds some new opportunity and I am going to look it full in the face and make the best of each one. I have a friend who once said "Do the thing you fear!" That is my motto for the year. And right now, the scariest thing for me is to settle down into this turbulent, month by month life we are currently living. I could tell you some stories about how God has already provided for our family and the blessings we have encountered for following His leading in our life. Maybe someday it won't be so fresh on my heart and I will share them with you, but right now, they are just between my God and me. He is good, all the time. And this scary transitional permanence that has become my life is exactly what Abraham must have known. God told him to go and live as an alien. He did and he lived his life. I believe he had a good life and I believe Abraham was thankful for the life he had. I know God has a promised land for us too. It's just not time yet and if I can't be happy waiting, I don't think I will be happy in the promised land either.

It's easy to keep looking forward hoping that some THING will make our crazy messed up lives better. A new job, a new start, a new house, a new car, more income, better body, more sleep, more motivation, more whatever, a new whatever; IT'S A LIE!! None of that will make you happier. If you can't be happy in the circumstances you find yourself in then chances are you won't be much happier ever! Sure circumstances can change who we are, but we don't have to let that change be for the worse. See I didn't have the power to let this whole scary transitional life thing go until I realized how much I was holding on to it. That's when I gave it over to God and that doesn't mean I am cured of it.

I watched a movie the other day about a man who thought he was a total failure. His marriage failed, his kids were a mess, his ex-wife hated him, and people who didn't know him kept throwing stuff at him on the streets. He tried to write a novel and failed. Everyone ignored him and he had a volatile temper. He was a mess. He got this idea that if he got this super $1.2 mill a year job then his whole life would just magically float back together. His wife would love him again and his marriage would be fixed, his kids wouldn't be messed up and his sick dad wouldn't die. But the funny thing is, he never made any changes. He just expected it all to get better if he could just succeed at this one thing. He realized by the end of the movie that that wasn't the case. His dad died, his wife got remarried, his kids got into more trouble. The only thing about this movie that redeemed it a bit is the fact that this man started to take responsibility for his part in why things where the way they were. He started to slowly make changes and he did get the bazillion $ job. IT didn't change anything.

It's just a movie so it lacks the answers that I believe will truly change this man's life. But I don't. I know that I can not make any changes, make anything good happen in my life apart from my Savior's presence in my life. That's where real change is made!

So. To changes and to a new start and to doing the thing I fear!