What a Day!

This Picture has nothing to do with my post today. I feel that if I don't put cute pictures of my kids in people will get bored with my thoughts and quit reading my blog so every once in a while I just put a cute picture at the top of my entry to get you hooked!






Four o'clock is not my idea of a good time to start the day but that's when my started none the less. Elise woke up this morning barking like a seal. She was calling for Daddy so I woke Dan and sent him to the rescue. When I heard him start up the shower my guilt got the best of me and I went in to check on them. Steam is supposed to help ease croup. So I went back to bed after Dan eased my conscience and thirty minutes later I went back to make sure all was well. To make a long story short I decided to take Elise to visit our friends at the Bedford Emergency room. I could have waited and taken her to the doctor in Altoona but . . . well this was just easier. The ER doctor gave her two breathing treatments and some oral steroids. We watched Sesame Street and Clifford and then they sent us on our way. We got home at 7:45 and I rushed around trying to get ready for the very last swim lesson. Chandra (Sammy's mom) and I take turns driving the kids to swim lessons and Thursday is my day. Dan was so great, he got everyone dressed so I could shower. We made it to swim lessons and I took Elise with us so she wouldn't make Matthew (Sammy's little brother) sick. We made it home and ate lunch then had our Ministry Team meeting. Right now I am just waiting to fall into bed. I got 7 hours of sleep last night so I feel a little silly being so tired but silly or not I am pooped!! Tonight is the real saving grace though! Mrs. Holland, a neighbor and fellow Texan, is preparing an authentic Mexican dinner for us and the Enoses (Sammy's family). Thank the Lord for small blessings. Right now it feels like a huge blessing that I don't have to cook dinner AND my dinner is going to be Mexican food!! It doesn't get much better than this.

Elise is fine by the way. Looking back I probably should have waited and taken Elise to the doctor instead of the ER but our insurance pays for the ER visit but not respiratory treatments at the doctors. Go figure.

Tomorrow is the big day. We are leaving for Massanutten tomorrow afternoon!! Try and be happy for us. We will be thinking of you all while we are at the indoor waterpark and riding bumper cars. Next time I post I will be so tired from all the relaxing we will have done I won't know what to do with myself.

What I Learned From Lemony Snicket

Ok, so I am reading Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events. I just finished book nine. These books are quick reading and surprisingly have lots of literary allusions. It's kind of like watching a movie except you are reading it. Each book takes about two or three hours to read. They are very unfortunate, but you keep hoping that something good will happen. If you haven't seen the movie that came out recently or don't know the storyline I'll fill you in. There are three children, Violet,14, the inventor, Klaus,13, the researcher, and Sunny, not yet one, the biter. Their parents were killed in a fire and left the children a large fortune. Count Olaf is trying to capture the children and take the money for himself. Until about two or three books ago the kids kept being farmed out to new gaurdians. Each gaurdian worse than the last and someone always or almost always dies. Right now the kids are running from the police because they have been framed for a murder and lots of other unfortunate events. They are forced to disguise themselves and go with Count Olaf in order to evade the police or certain death. Since the orphans have been on their own they have been forced to fend for themselves. While doing this they resort to some of the same tricks that Olaf has used to try and capture them. The longer they are in the company of Olaf and his crew the more they learn to act like them. As a reader you see the children struggle with what is happening and the dilemma they find themselves in. In order to defeat Olaf and save their lives they are forced to become like him. The only difference is that they do these things for good and he does these things for evil.

As I was thinking about these stories I thought of myself. I often feel like an orphan, alone and lost. There is someone who chases me everywhere I go trying to devour me and use me for his evil purpose. No, I am not schitzophrenic, I am talking about Satan. The only difference between me and the children in this book is that I Have been adopted into a family. MY Father, My Heavenly Father, cares for me and protects me. There is still this sinsiter character following me around to do evil in my life and try to seperate me from the love of my Father, but my Father says Do not be afraid, Be courageous, For will never leave you nor forsake you. The worst thing I can do is fall in company with the enemy. Even if I am trying to find out how to defeat him. You see the Baudelaire orphans found themselves becoming more like Olaf when they were around him and they didn't like it. My Father says set your heart on things above, not on earthly things that only last for a moment. The Baudelaire orphans in these books don't get to choose not to be orphans. You and I, we just have to ask and we are made a part of a family that will never be torn away from us. We just ask and forever we will be safe and cared for by the loving arms of our Savior. And because of that I don't have to worry about any Count Olafs out there. Oh, they're out there all right, and I will probably meet a few along the way but, I don't have to run from them and I certainly don't have to find them before they find me. I am safe and I am loved. That's all I need.

Vacation Dreaming

I took this picture on Wednesday and it is amazing to me how big the girls look! They are so sweet.

In exactly one week we are going on a family vacation! I am so very excited!! For Christmas this year Bill and Diana gave us a week at their time share. One of the best Christmas gifts ever! We are going for a week to Massanutten in Harrisonburg, VA. They have skiing, an indoor water park, and an indoor amusement center. Not to mention a pool, Kids Recreation program, and a Jacuzzi tub in our condo. We are going to have so much fun! Dan has some friends from high school that live in the area and some cousins that we are going to invite over. I can't wait!! I got busy planning the meals for the week and making all the lists of things to take. I have to take all the food and spices for the week and other kitchen things that won't be provided. SO I have a couple of lists going right now; the list for the Little Barn(our favorite discount grocery store), the list for Wal-Mart, the list for a grocery store when we get there, and the list of baby paraphernalia needed. Let me tell you a sad little secret, I really get a kick out of planning these kind of things. I am having a blast!

When I started thinking about this trip I was a little bummed that I would have to cook all week but I decided to look through one of my new cookbooks and find lots of fun things to cook and now I am really excited! Plus Dan and I decided to relax our dessert and Dr. Pepper guidelines for our vacation week. One dessert and one Dr. Pepper a day, we are living the high life! I even found a really yummy dessert to fix, Chocolate Peanut Butter Pizza. I won't tell you what all else we are planning to do and eat because I would really hate to cause you to be discontent in your upcoming week! HEHE!

But I have to get my head out of the clouds enough to get through this week. I have set some goals for the week. I would like to get the packing done (that means laundry) and clean the house before we leave so I can't slack off. This weekend we have a very large weekend. The OCF group from Carlisle, PA at the Army War College is coming in. They have 50 kids registered to come so that equals lots of fun and craziness!! Hope you are all having a fun and crazy weekend, too!

A Look in the Mirror

Today is the first day that I didn't keep my commitment to get up at 6 in the morning. I slept in until 7. I wanted to see what my day would be like with out getting up early. It wasn't that long ago that I started so I am not really sure why I forgot. But I guess logic doesn't really kick in until you actually get out of bed. Well all I have to say about my morning is. . .I'll be up at 6 tomorrow! Every thing was out of control. FaithLyn took Elises diaper off, and she was running around the house naked from the waist down! Needless to say my shower was a short one this morning. My attitude was a little off as well. I felt like I was reacting to everything rather than being proactive.

Since then I have spent time in the Word and I was reading through my journal over the past 4 years. It was so encouraging to see how God has changed me. Ultimitely, I am still the same person. I still struggle with laziness, being content, and food has always been an issue for me, but I am not where I was 4 years ago. I am a little less lazy now, I am much more content with who I am and what God has given me and not given me in life, and I am making some good progress in my attitudes toward food.

You know sometimes I feel so stuck in my skin. I cry out for God to purify my heart, to help me love Him more completely and it always feels like I am so far from what His love deserves. I realized this afternoon that no matter how He changes me I will always need Him just as much. I will always be striving for more of Him. Loving Christ isn't about getting to a certain point where you are fixed. If we could be fixed then what's the point? We are created to HUNGER for God. Until I am face to face with my Savior and Creator I will be a sinner. Right now I am forgiven, but still a sinner. Thankfully I am able to move further up and further in to the heart of God but it will not be fully revealed until Christ is fully revealed to us again. "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. . .Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." I Corinthians 13: 10, 12

Right now I am only a poor reflection of Christ's perfection but some day, when Perfection comes the imperfect will disappear. I will keep moving toward that perfection and keep reflecting His love with His power not my own. I does good to take a look at your soul in the mirror of God's heart every once in a while. It's not always pleasant. I remember when I was pregnant with FaithLyn we didn't have a full length mirror and while visiting someone I got a glimpse of my very pregnant body while changing. It was not a pleasant experience but I got a full view of what I looked like pregnant. I learned enough to know that I didn't need a full length mirror in my home, EVER!! But sometimes you need to see the full length image of your heart.

If I were to look in a full length mirror today it would still be an unpleasant experience, but I would look much different from the very pregnant Kelli. Hopefully my heart has made some changes, too. Now I know where I need to focus my attention, where my spiritual problem areas are. Just remember when you look in this mirror you are only going to see a blurry image. God sees you clearly and knows you fully and He loves what He sees!!

Best of Friends!

I didn't want to leave out Elise. She is so attentive to Olivia. I think I have told you that Olivia gave her first smile and laugh to Elise. They are pretty good friends. Elise always lets me know when Olivia is crying. If Olivia is crying in another room Elise will go and take her toys and play with her and they just talk and talk. I wish I could explain how funny Elise is. She is so expressive. Her little face can express any emotion and what you see is what you get! She keeps us laughing and she loves to help Mommy! I have two very good helpers.

Mommy's New Do

I got a haircut yesterday. I realize this is not a very exciting event for the world but it's big news at our house. It's not really that much different, just shorter. I have been waiting to get my hair cut short until I lost more weight but Hey! life doesn't last forever, right? Fat face or no I like my hair short! It makes me feel younger. I guess because the last time I had my hair this short I was in college.

When I got back and showed the girls FaithLyn said, "Mommy, what are you with that hair?" Later at bedtime she asked me when I was going to take it off. I told her I couldn't it was my hair and she said,"But, Mommy it's like Daddy's." "No, my hair is a little longer." But it's like Daddy's hat." I got a pretty good laugh out of that. The hairdresser, Bev, did use a lot of hair spray and I will never be able to recreate it but I thought it was cute, maybe not. Olivia was a little wary for a while as well. She kept looking at me to make sure it was me. This picture was taken this morning before church. I did my best but I will never be able to do that messy but really hip look with my hair. I like it to look fixed and brushed.

Aren't these two cute? I sure think so. Olivia has stopped sleeping through her afternoon nap. She sleeps for about 45min. to an hour and then screams until I come and get her. Anybody have any suggestions? Maybe she just got out of wack. I am not going to give up! This has never happened before so I don't know what to do. She is so tired that she still has to take a late afternoon nap because she skipped her last nap. How dare she mess with my schedule!!

Can I just tell you how much I love being a mom? Despite the fact that I can't figure out how to make Olivia sleep in the afternoon I love this job! For a while I was really not enjoying being a stay at home mom. I woke up every day dreading the endless work and the neediness of my kids. Now I actually am challenged by the work and look forward to doing fun things with the girls. Thank You, Lord, for changing my heart. Hope you all have a great week! I feel confident that we will!

Everything B

Olivia Update: I got in trouble this weekend for not telling my parents and Angie that Olivia has two teeth. I didn't take it personally because I know that I told them. But for the sake of everyone involved I would like to announce that Olivia Danae B at 7 months of age has her first two bottom teeth. I know that they are strong and sharp because they left marks on me!!! We were both crying after that one! She is also starting to sit up and I thought I better chronicle that also for the greater good. She is growing so fast.

Swim Lesson update: FaithLyn jumped off of the diving platform yesterday! It took her three tries but when the teacher let her hold her barbell floaties she jumped right in. We were so proud. Dan was very impressed with her progress. It was a good thing that the platform was at the opposite end of the pool from the observation window because Dan was pretty tempted to give FaithLyn a little encouragement. She was so proud of herself for doing it though! I was proud of Dan for letting her persevere on her own. She was very determined. She is getting more and more comfortable with the water. She's getting used to putting her head in the water. This is a HUGE step for her. Just washing her hair is usually a struggle.

Elise had a really hard time at this swim lesson. She was a little glum in the face. I think since we took Sammy with us this time she felt pretty left out. I can remember how it felt when Angie would have friends over and I got so frustrated because I thought I was old enough to do what ever they were doing. And if those darn friends weren't there it would be ME playing with Angie and not them!! It just wasn't fair! There is just no way to protect your child from that kind of disapointment and really it's better for them to learn to deal with it well. It was hard for me to remember what it felt like and see her go through the same things and have to tell myself I can't fix it. We did talk about when she will take swim lessons and FaithLyn can't wait for Elise to take swim lessons with her. They are pretty good friends!

Remember the women's retreat that I got to sit in on last weekend? Well, I have been wanting to share some of the great ideas from the speaker. I don't know about you but good parenting ideas are always welcome to me! Here are a few thoughts on Discipline:

-First time obedience is so important for several reasons if your child is having a hard time deciding to obey immediately help put it in perspective for him/her. Ask very calmly, "Are you going to choose to obey or disobey?" Sometimes this will help them remember it's not about what they WANT but about being obedient.
-Say yes to your kids every chance you get. Do you ever go through a day and say no more than anyother word? I definitely have so this reminder was a good one for me.
-Teach your children to say I forgive you not it's ok, cuz if it's ok why are we apologizing?
-If your child is complaining about fairness, for example one sibling has fewer chores and in the middle of chores the wronged child realizes and brings it up, Assure your child that you will discuss this matter later but for right now they need to obey or follow through.
-To teach self-discipline you could have a TV week and a No TV week and alternate. I think we are going to try this soon because I am so tired of hearing "Mom, can I watch a little TV?" And we don't watch that much TV! It will be good for Dan and I, too.
-A Marble Cup: somewhere in the house that's visible use a small see-through plastic cup and write each child's name on their cup. When you catch a child doing something worthy of praise add a marble, something bad, take one out. When the cup gets full of marbles take the child to the dollar store and let them choose any one item. Or some other reward, ice cream, a special bike ride with just Mom or whatever.

The next few ideas are dealing with Dinner:
-Put top priority on dinner with the family while the kids are young and it is easy so it will be normal when it gets harder with older kids.
-Teach your children how to enjoy sitting at the table and eating as a family. It is your job as the parent to engage your child in conversation and teach them how to listen while others speak.
-The No-Thank You helping: To do away with the battle at meal time instill this rule. You must take at least one "NTY helping" of each food served at the meal. If you do not eat your food you do not get to have dessert. Then leave it alone, don't bring it up anymore. Don't coax, bribe, or plead, just eat and let them eat and then when the meal is over serve dessert to those who ate. I suggest sending any away if their is a scene and eventually they will get the picture. A No Thank You helping is one Teaspoon. You have to be consistent and eventually this will catch on.
-If you say Yuck, Gross, or I hate (peas) You have to eat 2 No thank you helpings and the dessert rule stands! This will help train your child for those times that you eat at Great Aunt Sarah's house and she serves the ham jell-o mold!(Yikes!)
-***Sunday Rules*** To help teach the kids about Grace flex the rules for meals all day Sunday. No no thank you helpings and dessert for everyone no matter how much they eat.
-Make meals special. Use candlelight, flowers, music, theme nights, decorate, have backwards meals(start with dessert), a picnic in winter. Keep every one excited and wondering what might happen. Not every night of course.

I thought these were some great ideas! Happy Mothering, Grandmothering, Aunting, and just plain ole fashioned Loving.

Crash and Burn!

How many of you live life on a roller coaster? I think at least the feminine half of the population can relate. Last week was a wonderful week for me, so inevitably what goes up must come down, right? Yesterday I crashed, HARD. Satan used every attack I am suseptable to. None of my clothes fit right, I didn't have time to fix my hair, I was SOO tired, Olivia has this special trick of crying 30 mins. into every naptime that I try to sleep, and the house just keeps getting more and more out of hand. So I felt fat, ugly, tired, grouchy, lazy and I didn't want to be at home.

The reason I crashed? Well, I realized that no matter how much I give, no matter how much sleep I get or don't get, no matter how much I try to do it all there is always something I still fail at. Believe it or not, I CAN NOT DO IT ALL.

By Saturday I was ready to let everything I had learned crash and burn! I decided I couldn't do it and it was not worth it. Then I decided I just needed a little break from my ant-busy life. I decided to attend a couple of sessions at the hotel. This weekend was a women's retreat and I know some of the women and the speaker so I could get away from the house, the girls(for a while) and the responsibility of life, for a couple of hours anyway. Wouldn't you know the session was about being a better mom! I am so glad that I went though because I got some really great ideas and even some encouragement. But when it was over I had to go home and I decided to take a nap because I was so very exhausted(Here italics indicate sarcasm). 30 minutes into my peaceful slumber Olivia wakes up screaming. ARRRGH! The whole afternoon went down hill from there. There was really nothing bad about the afternoon except for my attitude.

Poor Dan came home from work and had to rally the troops, make dinner and not act tired so that I could take a nice long soak in the bath tub. It had been such a trying day for me. While I was in the tub I tried to figure out how I could crash and burn so easliy and realized what my problem was. I was feeling sorry for myself because I CAN'T DO IT ALL! Hmmm. . .Why do I want to do it all on my own anyway? Then I was able to seek forgiveness for my attitude and God reminded me that He wants to help and is perfectly able to meet all my needs. 2Corinthians 12:9,10b just popped into my heart, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. . . For when I am weak, then am I strong." I was able to decide to choose a joyful spirit and the evening was a pleasant one.

I still woke up tired this morning, I didn't have time to fix my hair, nothing fit right, the girls made me crazy, BUT I am going to choose to live joyfully today. I was able to go to the session this morning and was blessed by the message. Then I had the BEST Sunday dinner prepared by my favorite chef, someone else. When I got home with the girls they gave me a gift from Dan. While I was in session he took the girls to town and bought me the Curious George soundtrack and a very sweet card. I couldn't figure out what was going on until I read the card. I don't think Dan will mind me sharing. Written inside this very sweet card was this message, ". . .I would like to invite you to spend an evening out with me on Tuesday to celebrate our love and keep the romance living between us." If that doesn't make a sad, chubby feeling, tired wife feel special then I have no idea what would!

I don't know why I thought I had a right to feel sorry for myself. I am the most blessed woman on the face of the earth. I have a great home, everything I need to live comfortably, three precious daughters, and the best husband in the world who loves me enough to do special things for me. Can life get any better than this? Thank You, Lord!

A Day in the Life of B

OK, so it has been about a week since I started getting up at 6 instead of 7. This is an embarrassing fact to admit but I decided to be real on this blog so here goes. I have been so tired this week! I have been so tired that I fell asleep at 8 one night and 9 two other nights while watching tv or a movie. Now the only time I have been that tired in the last 5 years is because I have been pregnant. SO, yesterday I actually bought a pregnancy test. I am NOT pregnant, by the way. That's what makes this an embarrassing confession. I have been pregnant for so long that I forgot what it felt like to just be tired. I am sure that in a few more days my body will get settled in to this new schedule, but til then, I am POOPED! If this is what God meant about not being lazy I am not sure I can handle it! It sure has been a productive week though. I am definitely hooked to getting up at 6. I just don't like being so tired at night. I make it to dinner and as soon as I sit down at the table to eat my body just gives up. I have been so thankful that Dan is such a help with the girls.

Olivia's personality is really starting to bloom. She is so much fun. She is starting to play with her teething toys. I almost wrote chew toys, but those are for puppies. Babies and puppies do have a lot of similarities except you can't send the baby outside when you need a break. Anyway. . . When I was expecting Olivia I prayed that she would be a good eater. God is faithful to grant us even the silly desires of our hearts! She is a great eater! She loves green peas. I personally HATE green peas. I think we all have one food that our parents made us eat and because of that we hate them. Well, for me it's green peas. I very specifically remember one meal when my parents made me eat my serving of green peas. I would eat a bite, drink milk, eat a bite, gag, drink milk. It was a very trying experience. Now even the smell of green peas makes me gag. No, Mom and Dad, I am not blaming my eating habits on you. I think, despite my aversion to peas, I turned out ok. Somehow, my child loves green peas. The smell of them all mashed up and runny makes me gag every time! Oh well, I am so glad that she eats. I even bought some of those yucky meat jars. I thought I should give it a try. Maybe she will like them and we will only have one vegetarian. Elise is really more of a fruitarian but you get the point.
Olivia has been so different from the other girls. FaithLyn's first sounds were goo goo. Elise's first sound was an ear piercing squeal. Olivia's first sound? Naa naa. She has moved on to Daa Daa so I am not so concerned. I was so certain that her first word would be NO. She'll learn it soon enough though. They always do.

Funny aside: The other day I told FaithLyn to hurry and eat her breakfast. We had swim lessons to get to and needed to hurry. I said, "We don't have time for all this piddleypooting around. " I got this phraseology from my Dad. I think if you looked in his personal dictionary you would find this definition: Piddleypooting- to waste time. FaithLyn retorted with, "Mommy, we shouldn't talk about that!" She is SOO funny! At least I know she is listening.

Daddy's Home!!

Ok, it was only two and a half days. I realize that but this trip symbolized something more. The spring is full of work trips for Dan and this was one we usually took together. I know, I am pretty pathetic but we made it through and I didn't fall all to pieces this time. God did show me that I am still to dependant on Dan to be who I need to be when he isn't around. I guess it is one of those crazy windy roads everyone has to travel. You get married and spend the first couple of years trying to figure out how to become one and then you have to figure out how to still function as an individual. It's a crazy fine line and I keep hopping right around it but can't land on it.

Dan had a very good time at the conference and made lots of friends, of course! He came home hours before I was expecting him and we all got to take a walk this afternoon. He got home before the girls even woke up from their nap. They both squealed when Daddy came and woke them up. Then they got to eat some of the treats he brought home for them. What a great day!

Tomorrow is swim lesson #2 and FaithLyn is very excited! Last time I had help, this time it's me and the girls. I am sure it will be fine I just have to get home by 1:30 for the Ministry team meeting at our house. No problem. I live for this kind of craziness!! It keeps me on my toes, alert and fresh! But I better get in bed, I have a big day tomorrow.

Swim Lessons

Today was the long-awaited Swim Lesson! FaithLyn's first ever swim lesson took place with 2 in. of snow on the ground. She woke up early because she was so excited and the snow made it super bright earlier than usual. We got ready in record time and were off! Getting up an hour before the girls is doing wonders for me!! Not only do I love spending time in the Word but taking my shower first thing in the morning gives me a whole hour more during the morning!! To me that is the difference between actually getting work done or not. And I feel more free to do fun crafts or Mommy Time with the girls. Anyway back to swim lessons. . .

We arrived at the YMCA in Hollidaysburg in time to change and get aquianted with the building. Sammy, 4, our neighbor and friend, followed us there. He is a veteran swimmer so he showed FaithLyn the ropes. She was so cute!! We waited patiently until her teacher came to meet her and then I said a quick prayer with her and she never even looked back!! I could tell she was a little nervous but she listened so attentively to her instructor and did exactly as she was told. She floated on her back, very scary in the past, and swam with arm floaties all the way to the other side of the pool. I couldn't believe it! I got to watch from the observation windows. I did sneak in every once in a while to get a picture or two. I didn't get any really good pictures because Olivia was screaming like a banshie every time I moved a step away from her. She is really learning to work her mommy!

When FaithLyn finished her lesson she said, "Mommy! I did everything! Did you see me?" My heart melted!! To see her sense of accomplishment made the hour drive and screaming baby sister so worth it!!

When we got home she said, "Mommy make sure that you wash my swimsuit and towel so that they are ready for me next time." I thought that was a pretty good idea. Thursday is the next class. There were two other little girls and two little boys. It is so fun to see your kids experience these things for the first time. It makes life seem a little more crystal clear and bright.

We Miss You, Daddy!

Dan left today to attend the Christian Camping and Conference Association's annual conference. It is a wonderful time of fellowship and fun. There is even some sharing of ideas. This is the first conference that Dan has attended with out me. (sniff, sniff) We went last year with both of the girls and had a great time. I felt like this year three children would just be to much. Plus we are leaving in June, so I sent Dan off with my best wishes and only a little jealousy. He would not have gone this year if he were not teaching some sessions. He was asked to lead two sessions today. He did one on Focused Facilitation and the other was a Games Sampler, all dealing with Youth Camps. He is so good at this kind of thing!

I heard from him this evening and both sessions went well. Now he can just enjoy himself. I had a very successful day also. All of the laundry is clean and folded. The kitchen is clean, including the floor! And we even have our clothes laid out for tomorrow. Tomorrow is a big day. FaithLyn is going for her first Swim lesson! I will tell you how that goes! She is very excited!

We still miss Daddy but I think we can handle a few days. We are just trying to make it one day at a time. Today is over and we have two days left to go. This isn't SOO bad. I mean it's not really even two whole days. He will be back for dinner on Wednesday. SO we have about 43 hours to go. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this! I CAN DO THIS!!!

Movie Night!

We promised to take the girls to see Curious George and tonight we had to make good on our promise. So we called Peepeye and Popeye(Marty and Clay Thomas, Center Director and stand in grandparents) to watch Olivia and took the big girls out for a night of fun!

We left right after naptime and ate in the Mall Food Court. Then headed over to the movie theater and loaded up on movie snacks. I mean we really did it right! We got a large popcorn and drink, Twizzlers, and Junior Mints. What's a movie without Junior Mints? We even got a refill of Cherry Coke halfway through the movie. This was some serious movie watching!!

The girls had a blast and we had so much fun with them. Elise was laughing out loud and this was music to my ears!! I come from a family of loud laughers and it was nice to not be the only one laughing at the movie. Usually the only other people in the movie theater laughing are laughing at me laughing at the movie. What can I say, I love to laugh. There is nothing like a good leg slapper! You know the kind where you throw your head back and really guffaw and the next thing you know your hand is slapping your knee. I tell you if you haven't tried it you haven't truly lived!

The real payoff for the evening was when we were walking back to the car and FaithLyn said, "Thanks Mommy for this great idea!" What a sweetheart! I'm going to choose to believe that was not the sugar talking. What fun it is to make memories!

Go to the Ant you Sluggard!

I just spent the last hour getting quotes for moving truck rentals. Yuck! The good news is we have enough money saved already to make the move. I guess I will get to buy groceries this month!! We weren't really worried but you know how fast those nerves can get ahead of the mind. I guess this will all take place after all!

The last couple of days I have been very convicted about being lazy and grumpy. I was talking to Dan about it and he suggested that I start getting up before the girls to spend some time with the Lord and collect my thoughts before the day begins. I knew he was right and I love him for taking the chance of upsetting me to give good advice. I fought it for a couple of days but yesterday God really got the message through to me. It was time to allow Him to work through my conviction. So last night I made the plan and prepared myself for an earlier morning. I was really excited about getting up and getting in the Word. The plan was to get up and shower then go downstairs and have my special coffee and snuggle up on the couch with the Lord and His Word.

Well, this morning the alarm went of at 6 a.m. and I thought out loud, "It can't be time already!?" Then a few moments later, after Dan had already jumped up and dashed downstairs or should I say tumbled?, I drug myself into the shower. Then I got dressed and went and made my coffee. I had a great time in the Word. I got to pray for the girls and read my chapters and have some even better prayer time. I am not telling you all this for a pat on the back. I recieved my reward through fellowship with my Savior. I committed myself to the day and the day to the Lord.

It hasn't been a spectacular day. I haven't increased my productivity BUT the Lord did help me see that He wants my heart to be looking to Him today. I haven't gotten a lot done but what I have done. . . matters! I have a little perspective.

I knew that I needed to put myself before the Lord for a good old heartlift. I knew this because FaithLyn has been asking me way to much to put on a happy face. Isn't that sad? My three year old daughter has to ask me to smile at her. I would only be telling half of the story if I didn't tell you that most of the time she asks me this is because she is in trouble but you get the idea.

Tomorrow will be the real test!! What was so convicting? Well I told you Dan and I had been talking about this for at least a couple of days, and in our Minsitry Team meetings we are reading through The Pilgrim's Progress. Well as Pilgrim is on his way to the Celestial City he stops to rest and falls asleep during the middle of the day. A voice awakens him saying, "Go to the ant you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food in harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?" This is a direct quote from Proverbs 6:6-9. I know that there is a time for rest and sleeping and Moms with young children don't get me wrong, we NEED to rest and take care of ourselves so we can care for others. BUT for me it had become something more. I was resenting the care of others part. That's a pretty big part of my day. OK, it's all of my day and some nights, too!

I don't miraculously love cleaning toilets or folding the 12 loads of laundry each week but I do love my family and the Lord who blessed me with them. To honor Him I can do those things with a pure heart and a great love for those who will be blessed by my efforts if not my actions. See you bright and early tomorrow morning!!

Life, or Something Like It

The dark cloud has passed over our household and life has returned, or something like it. I shouldn't have expected life to go right back to normal after a week of nonstop TV watching.

I woke up this morning cranky. I was looking for someone to gripe at. Dan was unfortunately the first to fall under the not so friendly fire. What did he do incur my wrath, you ask? He drank my special coffee. The coffee I drink during my special afternoon "ME" time. In my own defense I did just buy him two boxes of this coffee to take to work and drink at his leisure. Next, the girls broke a drawer from one of their little toy cabinets by sitting on it. I might not have lost my cool if I hadn't left the room explicitly telling them not to sit on them! FaithLyn kept saying, Elise did it! Elise did it! It got pretty ugly. I threatened to take the toys away if they couldn't take better care of them. I only meant the toys in this particular drawer but FaithLyn immediately started to panick. I told them to start cleaning up the room or I would give them both spankings.

I left their room and went and prostrated myself on the floor of my room admitting my sin and asking forgiveness. Now there is a lot of history behind this that you don't all know. The girls have been tearing pages out of their books lately and this upsets me greatly. FaithLyn has also begun to tattle on Elise because she likes for her to get in trouble. Elise has always been slow to obey and refuses to do her part to clean up unless I make her. Now these things will not do!! These circumstances and my foul mood mixed together were not a pretty sight.

I want to teach the girls to take care of the things that God has blessed us with with out becoming so attatched to "Things". I want the girls to work together to help each other and work as a team rather than every man for himself. And dadgumit! Elise WILL learn to obey!
How do you accomplish all of it and have a good attitude? Well, I obviously failed in all of the above this morning. I was at a loss to even know how to start over.

The truth, I have no power to succeed as a parent with out the love of Christ. I woke up this morning and let self have full reign over my heart. I had no plan to succeed or to even let Christ work through me. I tried to be enough and the sad truth is I never will be!

Realizing this helped me to throw off my funk and proceed through the day. It has still been a little bumpy but then it never was easy for me to give control over once I had known the taste of command. But. . . even now I may relinquish my scepter and royal garments if I choose to trust the only One who has proven Himself trustworthy. I think I will continue to try and accept His love and guidance.

The Black Plague

Well, we have been visited by the plague! This illness has chosen our family to take down. It has chosen a very clever strategy. Start with the biggest and move through to the smallest and youngest! The tricky part is that just when you think it over and your loved ones are safe from harm, BAM! it hits someone else, the next in line bites the dust.

Today, we thought we were free from this highly contagious epidemic and to celebrate we took a trip to Chik-A-Lay. Right when we walked in the door and where parallel with a family quietly enjoying their lunch, Mount St. Elise errupted! There was only one casualty, FaithLyn. SO we gathered up our crew and made it to the car, after, of course, we enlightened the staff of our mess.

We then went through the drive-thru and I equipped myself with a trash bag and antibacterial wipes. I made myself comfortable in between the girl's carseats in the back seat of the van and didn't have long to wait to be put into action. Three trash bags later we made it home. By the time we got home I was so car sick from facing backwards on a VERY winding road that I had to lay down. I was eventually able to eat and Elise is down for the count. Poor girl, it was so miserable!!

I am sure those people at Chik-fil-A where glad we came and left them a present!! I thought being sick was bad but there is nothing as bad to me as having your kids get sick and not be able to really make it better. It is so emotionally exhausting. SO if you see this angel of death coming make sure you rub everything you can over your door posts!!

The only one left who hasn't been sick is Olivia, so please pray that the angel has taken enough of us!!

Tossing my Cookies or rather Birthday Cake

I hate being sick! I especially hate throwing up. Dan got sick with an awful stomach virus on Valentine's Day. I made it through the birthday party and then it was all over for me. I knew it was coming on so I ate a huge piece of birthday cake while I still could.

I have limited myself to one dessert a week and I have been looking forward to this chocholate cake for days! So I was very determined to get my cake and eat it too! In most of the pictures of Elise opening presents you can see me shoveling in cake. Boy, did I ever regret that moment of stubborn determination!!

The worst part of being sick is not throwing up or the other part, but the body aches! I slept about 3 hours total last night. I actually did my best sleeping in the bath tub. But, enough of my whining. I am almost back to normal. One night of good sleep and I'll be good as new.

To better days and good night's sleep, and a desire to eat cake again. Well, someday!

Happy 2nd Birthday, ELISE!

Today is Elise's 2nd birthday! What fun we had. She had an Elmo birthday party. She got lots of fun toys, all which seem to have a million pieces!! I have only myself to blame. She seems so much older already.

Somedays I want the girls to stay this age forever. Only somedays, but today was one of those days. I know that as the girls grow I will enjoy things about each age but it is so precious so to see them learn things for the first time. Then they inevitably start yelling over a toy or some nonsense and the spell is broken. But what will I do when the girls stop asking me to chase them like a monster, kangaroo, dinosaur, horse, lion? I just have to enjoy everyday as if it is my last.

Happy Birthday, Elise. May God bless you with His love for others and a heart for service. This is our prayer for you: "May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for others as ours does for you. May he strengthen your heart(s) so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones." 1Thessalonians 3:12-13

The ME! Monster

I love being a mom. There is nothing in this world that I would rather do. Why then do I wake in the morning and groan about the day ahead? Why do I look forward to my shower because I know the girls will be playing in their room and leave me alone? Why does my mouth salivate in anticipation for my cup of coffee during nap time, MY special alone time? Then I find myself just making it until bedtime so that I can enjoy myself or time with Dan, alone.

I realized, today, that I wish everyday away. Granted there are moments in everyday that I stop and enjoy my girls, but MOMENTS, why not all the time, every moment? Why do I wake up feeling burdened by the work I know they will create for me? Am I so selfish? YES!! To my extreme shame, I am.

I want to get excited about nap time being over, about "special time with Mommy", about quiet moments snuggled up with my girls and a good, silly, book. Too often I find myself going through the motions, telling myself that I NEED to do these things for the girls. What happened to WANTING to do them? I think I could probably make excuses for myself like: things will change when Olivia gets a little older, or I won't always be so tired. But if I am really being honest with myself, you, and my Savior, I have to admit that I am inherently selfish and disgustingly lazy!

Before you all hastily comment on how it is impossible to be lazy with three small children let me calm you a bit. It would never appear to the untrained eye that I am lazy. My days are always full. I am always busy doing something. I never stop doing the things that I know I need to do. But my attitude, my spirit is so begrudging of this busyness. I have been frustrated for some time that I am no longer able to get the house clean and laundry done all in one day. I like to do this so that I can enjoy the rest of the week. I have convinced myself that I do this so I can devote more "special" time to the girls. The truth is I do it so that I can devote more time to myself! When I am, by some miracle, able to accomplish the housework quickly I send the girls to play by themselves. I tell myself that it is good for them to learn to play on their own and I am sure there is some merit to this. The truth, I don't want to sit on the floor and have a tea party for 30 minutes! I don't want to teach the girls to play with dolls or build with blocks.

I guess this long confession is just to say that even though I LOVE being a mom and staying home with the girls, I want to REALLY enjoy every day of it. I want the girls to know me and desire my company. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with looking forward to some quiet time with my husband at the end of the day, but what God has been teaching me lately is that I have only been thinking of my own comforts. What do I want to do, what will make me happy, what would I like to eat tonight, what would make the day enjoyable for me? Not only have I not been thinking of what would please my children, I have totally stopped trying to think of the comforts of my husband. Granted, I still do the work, but my sad little heart has been consumed with thoughts of self.

I am reminded that God doesn't want my work or need it for that matter! He desires and even died to have my HEART! Faith without works is dead, but works without faith is only busyness!! I admit that it is so much easier to get in a routine of work because then you don't have to think about it. But the Lord keeps calling to my heart, not my actions. Thank God He isn't satisfied by my actions alone. What a sad and burdensome life this would be. He can make my heart rejoice in the work and even look forward to fun time with my kids. I guess that is why it is so important to love what you do, otherwise it is just work. That's exactly how life with Jesus is. If you stop loving Him, it's only work. Thank goodness He never gets tired of loving us or blessing us out of His unimaginable love.

Bath Time!

This looks a lot easier than it is. Wet baby is as slick as snot!!