The Spiritual Leader: God ordained

I have expressed in some previous posts some of what I have been learning about the biblical role of women. Today I want to focus on the role of men. The first chapters of Genesis are great to study in regard to biblical roles of men and women because we get a little bit of a picture of how God intended things to be. I in no way claim to be a biblical scholar but here are some things that have been revealed to me by others who are biblical scholars and theologians.

We know from Genesis 2:7 that Adam was formed first. He set about doing the work that God assigned him, to tend the garden and keep it ( 2:15). Thus creating the role of provider for the male. Then God gave Adam specific instructions about what he could and could not eat.(2:16-17) Next, God promises to make for Adam, "a helper comparable to him"(2:18) Then the animals were created and Adam named them and verse 20 says, "...But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him." Then God put Adam to sleep and formed Eve from Adam's rib. She was part of him, made to be a "helper comparable to him." He named her and then the institution of marriage was set up. Remember, this is still before the fall, so this is God's perfect plan.

Now here is the part I had never thought about before. Scripture does not account for Eve learning of God's command not to eat of the tree life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. In fact, when the serpent asks her about it she says, "We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden , God has said, 'You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.'" (3:2-3) We know that is not exactly what God told Adam. He said do not touch it. Did Eve just add not to touch it for emphasis? Or is that how she was taught? We have God's words recorded, but there was some discrepency from God's words to Eve's. And no sin has been committed yet. That means God allows for this "interpretation" of his guidlines. Now let's skip to where God confronts Adam. Who does God call for? Does He call for his children? No, God calls for Adam. (3:9) This is proof that even though Eve took the first bite God asked Adam to answer for the sin first. I am assuming that it was Adam's responsibility to teach Eve what fruit was good to eat and what was off limits. Because He was ultimately held responsible. Now we see in verse 13 that Eve has to answer for herself to God and also to reap the consequences but who did God ask first? Eve is a helper, responsible for her actions but under the umbrella of Adam's leadership and authority. Paul even goes so far as to say that Eve was decieved but Adam ate with the full knowledge of wrongdoing. (2 Cor. 11:3; 1Tim 2:14) Now they were both cursed. But even in this curse there is a promise of the grace of Christ to come (3:15b)

So if the woman is a "helper"; which, by the way, in no way signifies inferiority, just a different task; then the man has the role of leadership. His leadership was well established before woman ever even appeared. So, we see that God recognizes Adam(man) as the spiritual leader. He addressed Himself to Adam first, then Eve was called upon to answer for herself when Adam pushed the blame onto her.

Now that we have the biblical foundation for the man's role as spiritual leader I can give personal testimony. I have always understood that Dan is the spiritual leader in my head. I have to admit though that I have fought against this for years with out even realizing it. That's part of the curse, I think.

Genesis 3:16b "Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."

The older I get the more God is revealing to me the peace and joy I can find in living under the umbrella of Dan's leadership. You know God didn't make marriage a metaphor of His relationship to us for nothing!! Just like it is so much easier to let God lead your life, it is so much easier, as a wife, to let your husband lead the family!

Our move to Fort Worth has put us in a perfect place to allow God to more fully develop our roles for our marriage. My only focus is family and home. Dan on the other hand has lots to focus on. Work, School, Family, Church. Not in that order but still that's a lot to think about. And for the first time God has placed us where Dan really needs. . .can you guess. . .MY HELP! But I can only help at home. I can not do his work for him. I can't really even be at work with him, which is a change for us. I can't do his school work for him, that's just not ethical. I can't schedule time for him to be with us as a family, it's just not possible. SOOOO, I am limited to simply do what I can in order to help. What does that look like? I try to keep his clothes clean and wearable, I keep the house neat so when he is here he can study, I cook for him, make his lunch, and sometimes stay up late with him and help him study or read some of his assignments to him. It sounds like a lot but there have been lots of times that I have been in tears because there just wasn't more I could do to help him. But you know what? That's the way it's supposed to be! If I can meet all of Dan's needs then he doesn't need to go God.

When Dan and I got married we had lots of fun together. We thought we would look back on those first 2 years and laugh that everyone said it was going to be so hard. Well, know we look back and laugh that we were so prideful!! Learning to live together was easy for us, but learning to become one spiritually was tough!! It took a long time to even understand what that meant! We are still learning how it looks and feels. But I have become dependant on Dan's spiritual leadership in my own walk with the Lord. Now, do not misunderstand me, I am ultimately responsible for my relationship to the Lord, but I have learned to recognize that Dan sees things in me that I am unable to see. He can direct me in the Lord and see how God is leading me sometimes when I get caught up in the finer points or miss the point all together.

Living in PA we only had 3 TV stations so we didn't watch a lot of TV. We got to be pretty disciplined in this area of our lives. But moving to DFW where we get 12-15 channels just with the rabbit ears caused some problems. First of all, TV is a sin trigger for me. Let me explain. The more I watch TV the less aware I am of the content I am taking in. The more TV I watch, the more I think of self-gratification. For me that equals food and laziness.
The less I watch TV the less I deal with the desire to over-eat and eat junk food and the less I feel tired and want to just sit and rest. Now granted nothing in excess is good for us. Moderation is the key but when you add TV into my life my ability to moderate myself goes down the toilet! I have known for quite some time that I needed to set some new boundries for myself. I have even felt the conviction of the Lord in this area of my life. I have even tried and failed more than once since we moved here.

The other day, Dan told me he felt convicted to stop watching TV and that the girls and I shouldn't watch either. I am so thankful that God has been preparing my heart and teaching me about godly submission. My heart was in tumult but my head knew that he was right and I was able to respond in a loving way. We have since gotten rid of the rabbit ears and when Dan comes home at night I make sure that the only temptation to put off studying is me. We have agreed to some boundries for our family where the TV is concerned. Boundries that we can all agree on. Marriage is a partnership and if you truly love your mate like Christ calls us to then you will want what is best for them even if that's hard for you.

I had been telling myself that I needed to have TV so that I could at least get some kind of adult interaction(if you can even call it that) and it was my consolation for Dan not being around so much. (Honestly, this is how I explained to myself that I deserved to be able to "rest" and rot my brain and deaden my heart) My reasoning was faulty at best and it was not benifitting me or anyone else in my family at all!

Since Dan stood out on a limb to lead the family in that way I haven't even struggled with wanting to watch TV. His leadership made it easy for me to want what I had been convicted of long ago. I know that I am ultimately responsible for obeying God's instruction in my life but when I have a godly husband who hears and listens and obeys the leadership of God in his life then it sure does make it easier for me to hear, listen and obey. I am so thankful for a husband who loves me like Christ loves the church. Everyday he sacrifices his time and energy to work long hours to provide for us. I am so thankful of the sacrifices he is making for us when it would be easy for him to decide to let us just go with out some things because God has called him to be a student right now. But even though God has called Dan to be a student, Dan has not forgotten his godly assignment to provide for his family. He is a great provider, protector, and I am so thankful for his spiritual leadership. But the key in Dan's leadership of the family is that he is fully aware of and sensitive to THE Provider, Protector, and Leader.

Thank You, Lord, for your love that I daily see manifested through my husband to my family and the world he encounters around him.

Fun Weekend with Daddy!

Here is a picture story of our weekend. We had lots of fun enjoying time with Daddy!! We went to the zoo all day and then Daddy put the girls to bed. That's always a fun event!

There should really be some set rules about posting on these things!!!?

Has anyone out there seen that TLC commercial about life lessons? The one that says Merlot and email don't mix? Well, apparently for me PMS and blogging don't mix!! Not a good idea! That stupid post has been plaguing me since I posted it. I am afraid that I didn't portray my meaning well. I was very honest about my emotions that, clearly, were unstable. I was only trying to show how stupid I had been.

God has put me in a place to give to others right now, and I love to give to others. I also have lots of great friends that are giving tons to me despite their crazy schedules too but my poor friend got caught in the crossfires of balancing giving to others and (wrongly) expecting to recieve from some. I am so sorry dear friend if I made you look back on your actions and doubt yourself.

Recently I have realized that I don't want to be one of those people who imposes my own ideas of justice on others over God's ability to deal with individuals and perhaps his desire to deal with me. You see I have come in contact with a person that deals with conflict in a way that I don't necessarily agree with. This individual, in my opinion, tries to teach the offender a lesson rather than being honest with the person and confronting them in love. And I just don't agree with that. I think we need to treat individuals with the same love, grace and mercy we have received. Jesus called us to love our neighbor as ourself. So I try to remember that in a conflict.

Well.

As much as I am opposed to this theory I was practicing it myself!! That's a bit ironic, don't you think? Anyway...my realization of my own self-righteous attitude towards this persons conflict resolution opened my eyes to my own lesson teaching conflict resolution. That was the point of the last post. Not anything else that I may have very emotionally rambled about. But I learned that no matter what the conflict, or even if our feelings get hurt, there is always someone else involved and that some one else is worth a little thought and compassion. It's so easy in conflict to think of how I am affected by this incident but Jesus calls us to think of others and it is usually worth the time spent if you can put yourself in their skin for just a moment.

A Hard Lesson

The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
And his glory is to overlook a transgression" Proverbs 19:11

"There are many plans in a man's heart,
Nevertheless the LORD's counsel-that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

"Do not say 'I will recompense evil';
Wait for the LORD, and he will save you." Proverbs 20:22


I encountered these verses in my study time this morning. They smacked me in the face! But I have to be honest, I knew it was coming! Here's a little background...

I have been very emotional the last two weeks. God has placed me in a time that I am giving way more than I have ever given before. I believe he brought me here so that I could learn to turn to him in order to recieve what I need. Because let's face it folks, 12 hours a day with three kids 4 and under, well that'll just suck it out of you! And in this emotionally dry period the Lord has placed some people in my life that need me. I am so thankful to be needed but I just ran out of things to give and I just wanted someone to do something for me. I think most women are bad about letting this kind of thing build up and build up until you eventually just explode. Well this was the week of Mount St. Kelli. I had given so much to others that I was dry and the only thing coming out of me was poisonous fumes!


I took a step this morning to release that poison that infected my whole life for this past week and half. I got up this morning to spend some time in the word and BAM! That smouldering volcanoe that was just under the surface fizzled and died completely when I read those verses above. What a heavy burden I have been carrying. I feel so small and ignorant! I spent so much energy being hurt and carried so much emotion because of that and I wasted a whole week being depressed and sullen and moody.

"There are many plans in a man's heart,
Nevertheless the LORD's counsel- that will stand." Proverbs 19:21

I am a Homemaker!

I have been learning so much about God's plan for me. This won't sound earth shattering for anyone esle out there, but for me, this is big stuff. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a wife and mom. I decided to get an education and get certified to teach, just in case. But I always , always wanted to get married and be a mom! I got married at age 21, too young for most of the adults in our lives but just right for God's plan. I found out I was pregnant with my first child when I was 23! Despite the dreary circumstances we found ourselves in, no jobs, living with Dan's folks, I was so EXCITED!! Then God moved very quickly to show us that we were truly following His plan and He provided the perfect job for Dan and a home for us. So I was set. I was ready to be a Mom. During those few months while I grew a life in my belly I was as close as I have ever come to depression. The issue I was dealing with? How could I have issues when all of my dearest, oldest dreams were coming true? The problem was I had spent the last 18 years of my life studying to become something that I might not ever do. I was a house wife. And our house was a two bedroom suite in the 1800's hotel we worked at. So what on earth was I supposed to do with myself? I slept a lot, I read a whole lot, and I ate a lot. I am thankful we didn't have t.v. there! I struggled with being content and I couldn't figure out what I was missing. After talking it over with Dan for a LONG time I realized that I was mourning my "career". It seemed so crazy to me, because I never had one! But I felt so useless! Nothing that I did seemed to hold any purpose other than everyday life, and it definitely didn't seem to hold a purpose in the Kingdom.
That was four years ago and three children ago and I think I finally understand the purpose God has placed on my life as "only" a wife and mom. It's so easy to lose that focus in the early years of motherhood and marriage. But right now my sole purpose is to care for my husband, my children, and our home. In that order. And for the first time ever, it's enough! I love what I am doing and I have more drive to excel and purpose for excellence than ever before.
For the first time I am able to see how my care for my family truly does help Dan to be the provider, the protector, and the spiritual leader. And when I let him take care of those things, that are by the way, his God given role, then I am free to concentrate on fulfilling my God given role; to comfort, nurture, teach, and physically care for my family. I think that understanding the divinely designed responsibilities of each role has helped me to honor them.
Now, please don't misunderstand me, I am in no way saying I should not have been educated for a profession because some day that may be part of God's purpose for me, and in a sense it is His purpose for me now. I am better able to teach my children basic skills because of my education. I am also able to be a partner to my husband in thought and intellect. As he learns and grows in his spiritual leadership he teaches me and shares with me the knowledge he gains. Then I am able to supplement that knowledge on my own. I am speaking of his seminary "knowledge" here. I am ultimately accountable for my own spiritual growth and relationship with Christ.
I guess the purpose of these random musings is that God has finally granted me contentment in my role as wife and mother. When people ask me what I do I don't say "I am just a mom." anymore. I say "I am a Homemaker!" Because that is what I do. I strive to make a home that is comfortable, inviting, and full of the knowledge of Chirst and His love. That is something I can take pride in! It's not an easy job either.
I will still probably encourage my daughters to develop what ever skills they possess in the direction of a "career". But I will also make sure that they have a solid understanding of what God's purpose for marriage is and what responsibilities He has given to each gender. I also pray that my contentment, joy, and fulfillment as a homemaker will give them the same desire to be a wife and mom that I gained from my mother as a young girl.

I know I am not alone in this struggle! I know that other women struggle with this very same issue because it has been around for as long as sin has been around. I know because God said so! In Genesis 3:16 it says, "To the woman he said, 'I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.'" (emphasis added)
So ladies, at home, we are in charge of the children, and the home but NOT how it is run. We were created to be a "helper suitable". I think "Your desire shall be for your husband" means you want his job not your physical desire for your husband. Which by the way is a good thing to keep around! It has taken me a long time to come to my current level of understanding what respect for my husband looks like. I know I have a lot further to go but finally I can quit wishing I was doing what he gets to do and work on excelling in the place that God created me for! And when I excel as a wife and mother, then I make it easier for Dan to excel as a husband, father, student, and professional. It was meant to work that way! And it is amazing how well it does work when we are willing to surrender to God's plan.
So, if you are a wife, a mom, a working mom, a single mom, a daughter, a sister, or just a female, be encouraged. God does have a plan for you. He created it long ago. It has been tested and proven and created for us to thrive under. And no matter how many times you fold and put away clothes, or pick up toys, or wipe noses, or put your husbands underwear in the dirty clothes basket, or clean the toilet, or do the dishes, or fix a meal, with out a thank you; you are doing a divinely desinged task! It has a purpose more significant than getting through the day. And let's face it, we are usually just better at it!

A Close Call

Dan called this evening to tell me that one of his co-workers was attacked late one night this weekend while getting gas! We have been praying for this co-worker. We care a lot about her and Dan has shared his faith and various aspects of his faith with her numerous times. Thankfully she was unharmed but very sobered by the situation. She has three children also. Dan came home and hugged me a little longer than usual. The part of this story that is scary to me is that she was at a gas station!! They are usually well lit and have security cameras! But this co-worker is one of my new heros!! He came at her while she was getting back in the car and threw open the door. Then pushed her back on the passenger seat. She grabbed her cell phone which she only keeps for emergencies. (By the way, old cells phones with out service are still capable of dialing 911!) She did this and the operator told her to stay quiet and they would come. But the man saw the phone and started to grab for it and she took the opportunity to kick him in the head several times. She knocked his glasses off and then when he went to pick them up she really nailed him with her heels. This guy ran back to his car, and can you believe this, HIS CAR WOULDN'T START!!
She was able to give the 911 operator a description AND a liscence plate number!

I am retelling this story for a couple of reasons. 1. You ladies need to be careful!! Use your spysense and keep a close eye on your surroundings!!
2. Maybe mace isn't such a bad idea to carry around!!
3. This co-worker told Dan that this experience made her realize she needs to change some aspects of her life. So please pray that God will have victory in her heart!

Long awaited Tea Party Pics!

Here are two of the three pictures we took of the party. Our little tea drinkers, FaithLyn and Anna Kate. They were very serious about their tea. FaithLyn was pretty upset that I wouldn't serve hot tea! Mrs. Kent our neighbor in Pennsylvania invited us over frequently for afternoon tea. It was always a highly desired invitation. And FaithLyn has developed quite a taste for tea. I have to admit I will never quite develop the hospitality that we experienced at Mrs. Kent's. Those times of fellowship were so sweet. We so miss you,
Miskie!


This is the spread. I don't think I will persue a career in cake decorating anytime soon!

The Gene Pool

I have realized the gene progression in my children and this picture gives a clear example. FaithLyn has always been tall and skinny, even as a baby. Clearly B genes, there aren't to many tall Clarks, a few, just not in my immediate family. Elise has always been short and skinny, also from the start. So, we see some of the Clark genes very evident. But Olivia is a different story all together! She was tiny from the beginning, but she couldn't help that she entered the world 4 weeks early! Ever since then she been trying to catch up with her big sisters. She is and probably always will be shorter than average but let's face it she almost weighs as much as Elise! I love that she is chubby, not having a chubby baby up to this point. She has all the rolls and chubbies that other babies have. She is all Clark! Maybe we should stop now. We have all of the safe combinations of children. 1- full B(FL) ; 1- 1/2 B1/2Clark (E) ; and 1- full Clark. Thank goodness I know that they were each fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator whose knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I can not attain it. Psalm 139. But regardless of how the Father put them together he used parts of me and parts of Dan. They are each so different yet so much a part of Dan and I. They are the perfection of our love and the wonder of our Lord. Not to mention they keep life interesting!! I am every day thankful for His gift though I admit I am not always excited about the amount of work it includes.

At the end of the day during supper when my nerves are very touchy and my patience has worn thin, I would still rather sit at my table with my three sweet if only human and sinful girls and try to make it through a meal with out a spill, a threat, refusal to eat, or loss of temper than eat alone. Parenting is the most worthwhile, challenging, frustrating, heart breaking, joyful, sweet, messy, painful, trying, rewarding, awe-inspiring job I have ever had. I love these three girls more than life itself! I love my Lord more and my husband still must come before them but that is how I am able to love them as much as I do. I love them by setting boundries, by giving up my time and personal desires to do things with them and for them and yet I can not love them as much the God who created them. So I will entrust their future, their care, and their souls to the Father that can love them without fail. I pray for His grace as I strive to love them with His love and I pray that He will grant us all mercy when I fall short of that goal. And fall short I do! OFTEN! Sometimes I forget these goals that are foundational to our parenting style. I get overwhelmed or most often too focused on the tasks and forget to nurture the relationships. At the end of the day all I can do is ask the the Lord to , "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" Psalm 139:23-24

Even as I consider the wonder of my children I am reminded that I am also known. And His grace is sufficient for EVEN me!


Enough said.

The Long Road Back to Normal

This may be news to the blog world but not to those who see me regularly, I am no longer baysitting Katelyn. She is a sweet girl and my girls loved having her around but it was just to much for me. I was stressed out and tired and losing some ground in some key areas of my life that we just weren't willing to sacrifice. In the end it took Dan telling me it was time to let go for me to feel ok about telling Katelyn's parents. I feel a bit like a loser, but I have to keep telling myself that my first priority is to MY family. And I wasn't able to do it all.

Kudos to you moms who do! I would much rather be poor and eat spaghetti every night of the week. Work STINKS! No matter how great the job or boss or coworkers! I am not cut out for it. Maybe my standards are just too high and I am unable to let some things go, I'll just keep telling myself that so I feel better anyway. But honestly, I know that I made the choice that is most honoring to God. I am able to focus solely on my family.

Anyway, Katelyn's parents were very understanding and God worked out the details. I told Katelyn's parents on Monday but told them I was committed to keep her through Oct. because that was the original agreement and on Thursday they told me they had someone to keep her already!! Maybe I was just supposed to be the inbetween person anyway! But I have to tell you it is a bit humbling to realize I couldn't do it. I know that I was obedient to God's call and it just didn't last as long as I thought. I learned some valuable lessons!! It also helped me get Elise going on the potty training!! Woostinkinwho! If even just for that it was definitely worth it!!

All that was just background to say that I thought it would be really easy to get back in gear and on top of my game again and now it's been a week with out Katelyn and I still feel like I am recovering ground! The sad part is that I don't want to do all the stuff I know I need to. I stopped keeping Katelyn because I wasn't able to do the things I knew I should with the girls and now that I have no excuses I am still not doing them! I guess I have to give myself a little time. I always try to just jump right in and start back where I was but that just never happens!!
Kind of like when you are pregnant. I always thought if I could just have this baby then we could get on with life! OH NOT TRUE!! Then I would think well, once she's sleeping through the night! It is just a cycle and at some point you just have to get tired of waiting for the perfect circumstances and DO what ever it is you are waiting for to happen. Every day I make a small bit of progress towards my goals, so we'll get there. But Dang, it sure is slow going!

I know that I could never be a women's speaker because everytime I read scripture in front of a group I am so moved by the Word that I cry. Not that that is a bad thing but it sure is hard to understand a blubbering woman!

I took the advice of my dear Mother-in-Law, Diana and my sweet husband and I used an excerpt from my blog. It was just right. I was able to share what purpose my blog serves and then I was able to share a devotional thought. The verse that made me blubber? I Cor. 13:10,12. "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears...Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." Isn't that exciting? When Christ, perfection, comes we will be made perfect!! My throat is getting all tight and my eyes are clouding up just thinking about it!! All of the goodness that we know of Christ right now will be personified to the umpteenth degree when he comes again to reveal his glory. All the questions we have will be made clear!

The whole time I was trying to prepare my speech I was thinking of how my college speech prof and mentor, Mrs. Strickland would react to my lack of prep and commitment. I had a speech(Communications) minor in college. This was what I was always really good at. I realized that those abilities that I was so proud of, well, first of all, they were a gift from the Lord, and second, with out the blessing of the Lord they are useless!! That is why I was struggling! I wanted all of those women to hear me speak and be in awe of...well, ME! I wanted them to want to know ME as a result of my presentation. And until I surrendered that desire and wanted those ladies to see and hear from my Lord through my presentation I had nothing! As soon as I gave it over and said, "Enough, Lord. If I go up there and look like a fool that has never spoken in front of a group then so be it! I want you to be glorified, NOT Kelli." Then and only then was I able to truly share my heart. And I believe that those ladies did get to see an accurate picture of who I am. I was able to make myself vulnerable to them in the most intimate way, I shared the heart of my Savior with them. I don't remember if I followed all of the rules for public speaking, or if I said "UMmm.." or "Like" and I just barely made it in my time limit BUT, I was able to give up my desire for earthly recognition for the moment. And the best part is that the Word of God was honored and He blessed MY heart. I learned a valuable lesson about sharing the Word. It's God's word, not mine!!
"To God be the glory great things he hath done, So loved he the world that he gave us His Son, Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the Earth hear his voice,
Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, Let the people rejoice.
Oh, come to the Father through Jesus the Son, Great things he hath taught us, great things he hath done."

PRESENTATIONS #*%!!#@%*

I have a presentation tonight for my Minister's Wives class and it has really bee frustrating to me! This is what I am supposed to be good at and I can't figure out what to share!! I feel like such a loser! The truth is that there is so much that I could share I am having a hard time fitting anything into 5 mins.! The presentation is pretty unstructured. Mrs. Dr. Patterson just wants us to get some practice speaking in front of everyone. This is supposed to be my thing!! And I have been unable to commit to a topic. I am going to take the easy way out and just share one of my posts from this blog. For me, this blog is a ministry. It is a ministry to my family. I got tired of feeling like they didn't me. SO...what better way to let your family really know you than to share your thoughts more concistently than a phone call every week? It has become so much more than just a collection of pictures and events for me. This blog is where I work out what God is teaching me and make myself vulnerable to others about what God is teaching me. Now how do I share that in 5 minutes? Oh, well, I have got to get back to the archives and find a post to share!

Happy Birthday, FaithLyn!

Today we went to get FL's hair cut. She wanted it short like Elise's. Then we all went to the Museum to play and picked up Dan for lunch at Mickey D's. What a fun day! (The little girl between FL and Elise is Katelyn. She stays with us during the day.)
This is going to be one of those really cliche things to say but. . . I can not believe that only four years ago we were introduced to FaithLyn for the first time. I can not believe she is growing up so fast. I remember when she was born she looked around the room very calmly. She turned her head and looked all around and then she reassured us with one little cry and went back to observing. She was amazing! She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. But every mother thinks her children are beautiful. It's one of God's most special gifts for moms. After nine months of carrying that child we better think they are cute!! I was so ready to get home and have her all to myself. That changed eventually and I learned how special good help, or ANY help for that matter, is.

FaithLyn, this message is for you someday. I hope that someday when I am not your bestest friend anymore you will find this and know how special you are to me. I am so thankful for how you are growing. You are so sweet and thoughtful. Just today you shared your birthday milkshake with everyone at the table. I love that you are friendly and good at including others in your fun world. To see your imagination taking bloom brings delight to my heart. I know that there will be years when you think I am less than tolerable so I am storing up these precious memories now so that they will last me through the dry spells. Believe it or not, you won't always want Mommy to tell you a "little Mommy story" before bedtime. So until then I will tell you as much as you want to know about Mommy when she was little.

I am so excited to go with you and get your very first Library Card. I remember my first Library card. It was my first taste of freedom! I was in charge of what I picked out to read. I hope this excitement will continue to grow into a full blown passion for literature. I hope your love of reading will overflow into a love of learning. My heart melts every time I see you experience something or learn something for the first time. That AH HAA! moment is priceless to me and I hope someday you have the opportunity to experience it yourself with your own children. There are so many things that I want for you. I want your life to blessed by the love of Christ. I want His joy to be the joy that radiates from your smile and everything you do. I want you to be protected from bad choices and mistakes because you are obedient to God's will for your life. But more than any of those things I want you taste and know that the Lord is good! To feel His presence and know His forgiveness. If I don't do anything else for you besides teach you of Christ's love then I have succeeded in this life on earth. There is nothing else worth living for. My prayer for you is that you realize His love and surrender to it at an early age. By surrender I mean I want you to give yourself to Him unashamedly, every part of you and every dream you ever had. Because I promise you that the Life He has for you is better than any you could imagine for yourself. Living in God's will does not insure ease or outward comforts and happiness. But God can give you a lifetime of peace, joy and love that no one else can ever give.
My darling daughter, I love you! You are jewel and a princess of the Most High King of Kings. Please, never forget that!!

Back to Real Life!

We are back and had a great time with my parents in New Mexico! My only regret? I forgot my power cords for all of my cameras!! So I got two pictures of the whole week! ARRGH!














We got to have a little family birthday party for FaithLyn. She had a great time! Nana and Papa got her some skates and a Cinderella doll. FUN! She opened the skates and said, "I have been wanting some skates for my birthday!" It was really cute and it made Nana and Papa's day!
We had a great time in Cloudcroft. The only big thing we did was go to the Alamogordo Zoo. Which can't really be qualified as a big thing. But the girls really had a good time. It rained just about every afternoon so we just took it easy and lazed around. I did most of the cooking to try and earn my keep but even then it was so relaxing! I didn't have to worry about laundry or cleaning or entertaining anyone. It was beautiful! Memaw Cumbie ( sitting on the couch in the R pic) gave the girls some spending money for the trip so we went out one afternoon in a downpour to spend it. We took them to get ice cream. They felt very big buying their own treats. They also go to buy some M&M's. They also got to watch LOTS of TV. I am sure I will be paying for that this week! But what else is there to do on the top of a mountain in the rain? The rain and cool weather was much desired change for us though.
Now it's back to the normal schedule and normal life. Being away from Dan was the hardest it has ever been for me. He let me know just how much of a difference we make for him. It was really nice to feel needed. I am so glad that he didn't do better with us gone! I was a little worried that we might have become another responsibility. But I should have known better than that! Dan is the best and he truly does live out the love of Christ for us. Being away gave me two things, 1. It gave me a much needed break from the rat race. 2. It gave me a new found desire to do everything possible to make life easier, better and more fun for Dan.
I love being a wife and mom. It is such an important job and I am so blessed that I get to make that my focus!

Off to New Mexico!

WooWHOO! I am off to spend the week with my parents! We are going this Sunday to spend a few days at Cloudcroft, NM. It's supposed to be in the mid60's and raining! Sounds perfect to me! Hope you all are having a good week and if you think of Dan give him a call and make sure he is surviving. When I am gone he eats PB&J or peanut butter crackers. That's going to be a lot of crackers!! But I am sure he will stay busy with work and class. I'll let you all know how it goes!

Minister's Wives Class

Last night was my second class to help me learn to be a minister's wife. I tell you, everything has been going against me liking this class, well, except for the free childcare! But last week, my kids weren't signed up for childcare and I wasn't signed up for the class. URGH! Do you know how long it takes to get three kids to three seperate classrooms and hand off bags and give instructions? But I persevered. I filled out ANOTHER childcare sheet and thought I would try again this week.

Last night they did have my kiddos signed up for childcare but my name was not on the list! URGH! So I filled out another registration sheet and this time I handed it to Dr. Stovall, the director of Women's Studies. SO next week if I am not on the list I am done! But, despite the loss of my registration I really enjoyed the class last night. The topic was Marriage. The speaker was dynamic and very, very, happy. SHe started off by giving a little background of the Trinity. God the Father, the Son, and The Holy Spirit. She outlined their unity and their diversity. Then she took Genesis 2 and outlined God's creation of marriage and what it was before sin. So we got a good look at what God intended marriage to be. She pointed out the seperate roles of Adam and Eve. It was really interesting. Some things I had heard before but most of this teaching was eye-opening to me! Don't get me wrong I understand the importance of submission but now I have a whole new appreciation for my role as a woman, submission and all!! I still may not always like it and I am sure my "desire will be for my husband, and he shall rule over me." Gen. 3:16 In other words, I will still want to be in charge but that doesn't change the fact that Dan is!

We talked about how Marriage is meant to portray the image of God. Man and woman both portray different characteristics of the trinity. We become one and compliment each other. SO when Jerry McGuire (Tom Cruise) said " You complete me," He was theologically sound! I wonder what he would say to that?!!

Anyway, I took really good notes so I would love to talk to with you about this! SHe also gave some insight into why God hates divorce and homosexuality. The whole three hours just flew by and I really enjoyed every minute of it!

I have a book to recommend if you are contemplating your role as a wife, The Excellent Wife. I can't remember the author and I can't find my copy but this book will knock your socks off! It was very challenging to me. I would recommend it for any wife, new or old, who is seeking God's best for your marriage, life or family.

More catch-up Pics!

Luke and Olivia were due one day apart. But Olivia decided to come a whole month early! We got to have a birthday party together anyway! Here we have Olivia and Luke in their birthday hats and playing with the birthday loot! FL and Elise loved it just as much as Luke and Olivia.


This was Luke's first taste of cake! I think he liked it! I can't tell you how fun it is to live close enough to family to get together for family events like this! Isn't he sweet!?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIMI!!!

Bill and Diana are spending this weekend with David and Ellen in DC. They are going to visit Aunt Judy tomorrow and see her new townhouse!! I also hear AUnt Judy just got a promotion!! Congrats! I am only a little jealous!! We miss you guys!! Hope you have fun and we wish so much that we could be there with you celebrating this special day!!!

WE LOVE YOU MIMI! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

YIPEE for fast internet!

Dan and I have never been, well...normal. If you know us at all you know that. But for some reason we have fought the progression of technology in internet service. I am not fully sure what our thinking was but we have been dial-up users until today! We are now DSLers! WOOSTINKINWHO! In Pa we had dial-up because that was the only choice. In TX we have been frugal. We finally decided to put up the $3-4 extra for DSL. I can't imagine now what we were thinking. My only excuse is that we were living in ignorance. You can't miss what you have never known. Well we are fully educated now! SO, this blog will soon be up to speed with all of the bragdonclan pics that you have been missing. Here we have a few from our trip to FL (at Uncle Max and Aunt Patty's in the photos with the girls)and one of Olivia's B-day back in July. I am so excited !!! There may not be anyone out there who cares but I am really excited!! Yeah for fast internet and yeah for digital cameras!!

Oh and just an update. I did decide to babysit Katelyn. She fits right in with all of us girls. She is lots of fun and the girls love having her around. She is very polite and very obedient. For that I am a million times thankful! It has been an adjustment, one more to buckle into a car seat, one more lunch to fix. But some things are a lot easier, potty training is a lot easier for me to do for two than one, and I am certain there are other things but right now I am drawing a blank. I have committed for two months and at the end of the first 4 weeks I will reevaluate and let the Millers know. I am keeping an open mind and heart to God's direction. But we have already benefitted greatly from following God's will in this decision. I was forced to reevaluate my goals as a mom and get a better plan for accomplishing them. Once I get over the newness and we get more settled into a schedule I think we will really have a good time.

My class last Tuesday? Well, if nothing else I did take away one truth that I will share that makes it all worth it! This time in our life, here at Seminary, will be one of the hardest times for us as a family. But no matter how hard it gets, God has placed us here, and He won't leave us here alone to struggle through by ourselves! Sounds pretty elementary writing it out but on Tuesday night for me it was just what I needed to hear. Yes, it has been hard to adjust to less money, a smaller house, and less time with Dan, but I have grown in my Faith for God's provision SO MUCH!! I have learned a little better how much I can be stretched and succeed and how much I can be stretched and fail. I have made great progress in my relationship with the girls, and I have been forced to lean less on Dan and more on my Heavenly Father. So even though I am so tired that I cry pretty much anytime it is so worth it to be closer to the Lord. Even though it's harder than I have ever known before I am living a more fulfilled life than I ever thought possible. That, my friends, is what Jesus can do for you!

Can Anyone offer some Wisdom?

Ok, Blog friends and loved ones, I need your wisdom or at least your prayers. Friday morning our Sunday school teacher called to ask if I would consider watching their 2 yr old daughter during the day.

Now, here's a little background. Before we left PA I think I mentioned babysitting for extra income. I really put a lot of thought in to it and was preparing myself to help out financially from home. I felt like I would be able to help some seminary family for a very reduced price compared to most childcare and really help out our family financially. I decided how much we would ask to be paid, what we would require the parents to bring and how I would discipline. I was very thorough. By the time we left PA I had come to the conclusion that babysitting would be difficult. I have a gift for realizing pretty specifically and realisticly what things will be like. So I realized I don't want to add this hard thing on top of what I know will already be HARD! So, I told God that I was definitely willing to do this but I wanted to trust Him to provide for us. I felt that I could trust Him to let me know if I needed to help. So I said, "Lord, if this is your plan, make it happen, I will wait for you." I also prayed that we would not have to use up our savings money or go into debt in order to pay for Seminary. Dan's job is adequate to pay our monthly bills but we have nothing left over to pay for Seminary. That's fine because we have plenty of savings to pay for school.

We have navigated pretty well through several of the hard adjustments we have had to make like, less daddy time, and a tight budget. I am in the process of getting my schedule with the girls back to what I feel it should be. And right when I feel like I am getting things under control I get this phone call. SO WHAT DO I DO? I have been praying and thinking about this for the last 48-60 hrs! I wake up and think about it, I have dreamt about it, believe me this is constantly on my mind!!

My concerns, I know it will be really hard for the first two weeks or so. I do not want to sacrifice my family for a little financial stability. I really like being free to go and do what I want. I realize this would tie me down a little more. I love being able to go see my parents if I want to during the week. I haven't yet But I love the freedom to do that.

Now for the up-side. I think it would be a valid ministry to this family. The girls could benefit from the interaction. I think this little girl would benefit from the interaction. We could definitely use the money. This would encourage me to do the things I have felt convicted to do with my children and have been dragging my feet to get implemented into our schedule like, preschool time, craft time, consistent Mommy time for each of the girls.

IF this is God's prompting to go ahead and do this then I am all over it! But I know we could make it if I chose not to. The real dilema is: Is this God's leading?

Does anyone have any wisdom for me? Is there anyone out there who has done this before and has thought of something I haven't? Has the Lord given you a specific word for Me? IF the answer is yes to ANY of these questions please let me know. I want God's will for our family so badly! Anyone?

Today was Daddy Dan's first day of Seminary class! I was like a proud little mommy. Last night we got his leather briefcase(on loan from Career Kelli who has left the house for an undisclosed amount of time) all packed up and ready for class. Today's class was Contemporary Evangelism. Sounds pretty great.

On Tuesday evening we attended an Orientation event and I actually felt old!! I am not sure if I just felt unstylish or old, but probably both! There are a lot of students fresh out of college and not as many families as I thought I would see. But we had a good time meeting people and that scared, "Please, be my friend!" feeling didn't last too long.

Wednesday was the official Orientation day concluded by a family picnic and Church Fair. It was fabulous. Remember those days in college when all the churches fight for the new college students with lots of free stuff? Well, we hit the jackpot!! And this time having kids made us a hot commodity! Speaking of hot, We were outside for a total of 1 and 1/2 hours and I can not describe the heat we endured! It was sickening, that's the best I can do. I was hot the rest of the day no matter where I was! Gross!

We are starting to settle into a routine and unfortunately we are getting better at having Daddy around less. I am determined to need him less and still enjoy him more. I have a huge fear that I will become so competent with out Dan around that he will just be in my way when he is around. But God is going to use this time for His glory and we are excited to see where He is planning to take us during this time.

My class starts on Tuesday. Oh, did I forget to mention that I am taking a class, too? I will be taking Wife of the Equipping Minister with Dr. Dorothy Patterson. I will learn lots of interesting things like how to dress my husband, how to set the table for a formal dinner, how to entertain, and other really interesting topics that I will need to know as a minister's wife. OK, maybe my description of the course was a little to thick with sarcasm. Why did I sign up, then? Well, it's free with free childcare, and I might just learn something! I really am excited about it and it will be a good chance to meet other wives and Moms. I am trying to take every opportunity I can while we are here and let's just face it, I love SCHOOL! I know I am a nerd, and a brown noser! I can't help it, it's in my blood and I am tired of pretending!! They have a certificate program that they offer for Seminary Wives. The idea is that the husband is being equipped to minister but the wife often gets left behind and out of the education process causing a rift in the relationship and ministry. I am willing to give it a try and excited to have a chance to do something for myself during this time. But, it may just be something that takes up another night of my week and causes more damage than good. So I am willing to try but willing to let go if it isn't beneficial. I'll keep you updated on my progress as an Equipped wife of a Minister.

Life in the Fast Lane

Ok, Sorry. Life has somehow swallowed me up and just living each day has been more than enough to keep me busy.
Our vacation to Pensacola Beach was FABULOUS!! It was the most relaxing and wonderful week we have had as a family. Thank You Uncle Max and Aunt Patty!! What a wonderful visit we had and a great time to refocus and reenergize before our life gets crazy busy. We had a wonderful time just hanging out at the beach. Aunt Patty and Uncle Max are living at the beach right now and the house was just a short stroll to the beach. We spent most mornings on the shore. The girls loved playing in the sand and looking for sea shells. Dan and Aunt Patty found lots of really great shells. One afternoon we got to take FaithLyn and Elise to the movies. We had a blast. We went all out, we got popcorn, twizzlers, and an icee!! WOWEE! Then, thanks to Uncle Max's generosity and Aunt Patty's gracious offer to watch the girls Dan and I got to have a romantic dinner together. We ate out and walked on the beach and just talked. It was great!! We got plenty of sleep and rest and it was just perfect!! A dream come true, really. Then we got to spend the weekend with MiMi and PopPop in Jackson, Mississippi. We had fun swimming in the hotel pool, and we visited the Museum of Natural History. Fun stuff!! The girls loved it!!

Dan started his job the day after we returned and jumped right into it! This week was very taxing for him. New jobs are always stressful no matter what kind of job it is and this week was no exception for Dan. He registered for classes and is currently enrolled for 12 hours!! Yikes!!?? Then took a train to the American Airline Center for a Promise Keepers Conference.

The girls and I were busy making cake and getting the house ready for Olivia and Luke's birthday party. But first I took a holiday with Erin. We took the kids to the Museum in Downtown Fort Worth and hopped over to visit Dan at work. Did I mention that his Community Center, Thomas Place is in the Cultural District? Saturday we did a quick cleanup and waited for Nana and Papa to show up and then Aunt Angie, Uncle Brett and cousin Luke! What a fun day Saturday was!! I wish so much that I could figure out this new connection!! It is preventing me from sharing pictures and we have so many cute ones to show!! I will try to get them all on Yahoo! or somewhere so I can share them. Sunday we joined a church!! Tate Springs Baptist Church is our new church family. We are so excited to get involved! They have a children's choir that starts for 3 yr olds!! FaithLyn will love that!! And I am really looking forward to getting involved in the MOPS group! That's just an quick update. You should all be current on the comings and goings here at the B Casa.

God Is SOOOO GOOD!!

Oh, man, do I have a story to tell you!! It's just too bad that I don't have time to fill you in on all the details!! In short, Dan has a job!! He came home Friday with a job!! AND THE BEST PART, we still get to go on vacation! WOOHOO! We just got back from Bonham, TX where Dan did great job leading the service this morning. IT was so fun to spend some time with our dear friends Adam and Mandy. Olivia had her first birthday!! What a great weekend and we are leaving at 5 tomorrow morning for the sunny beaches of Florida!

OK, so here's a little bit of the amazing story of how God provided for us! Dan interviewed for this job a few weeks ago and didn't get it. We were heartbroken, I thought he would be perfect for it. His boss at Day camp actually got the job instead. Then Dan felt strongly convicted to turn the job search over to the Lord for the next week. No searching, no fretting, no job search with the promise of God's provision at the end of this Job fast. Dan's faithfulness to God's plan for him blessed us all and we had a really great week!! It wasn't hard and we were blessed in so many ways!! I saw the Lord's compassion continually as He answered the desires and requests of my heart. Then on Thursday Dan was asked to take over his Day camp because a leader quit in one of the other community centers and Dan's boss, Katie took over there and Dan took Katie's spot. He was able to step in and finish up well. On Friday, Dan was offered a position as a programmer at a community center. It is a job that Dan applied for but didn't even get an interview for! They offered the job to four other people and they all turned it down. They automatically thought of Dan and He starts one week from tomorrow!!! It is the job that Dan had been hoping for. It is temporary with the possibility of becoming a permenant postion with full health benefits. We are still looking for a ministry position but open to the Lord leading us to this position full time. It is so awesome!! Dan didn't have to do a thing to get this job except trust the Lord and wait for HIM to work it out. Well, and he did a great job at work and everyone loves him but that's just Dan! Thanks for praying for us and please continue to pray that the Lord will direct our every move. And whether that includes full-time ministry or if this current job is to become Dan's ministry, because believe me it is ripe for the Lord's moving! I have to finish up the frantic packing for our unexpected impromtu vacation!!

Fun Times!

Man, oh man!! Let the good times roll!! We have so much going on around here I am not sure I can remember it all!! Today, the girls and I are going to the Library this afternoon to meet Clifford the Big Red Dog!! We are so excited!! We love Clifford!! That will be our next photo on the blog. Hopefully I will get it posted before we leave. LEAVE? you ask? Yes, we are leaving tomorrow for Bonham, TX. I know it is so exciting! Our friends Adam and Mandy pastor Calvary Baptist Church in Bonham, TX. Adam has asked Dan to preach on Sunday so Adam, Mandy, and Jonah can take a "personal retreat". I know it is much needed!! They do so much and I am so glad it is them and not us! Then on Monday we are leaving for Pensacola Beach, FL!! Dan's Aunt Patty and Uncle Max are staying in a beach house there while their house in Gulf Breeze is being repaired from a nasty fire last year. WOOHOO!! We are staying there until Friday and then we are going to visit Bill and Diana for the weekend. Who would have thought we would get to take a vacation!? We don't even have a job!! But God is so good and He, in his gracious care for us, has provided a trip for us to visit loved ones!!

Oh, and Olivia's first birthday is Saturday!! We are going to celebrate with Adam, Mandy and Jonah. How fun!! I don't think I mentioned that Olivia got her bangs cut the other day. She is looking very grown up these days!! Fun times!!

Breaking the Silence

I have been silent for a while. I have tried to post several times and my heart just hasn't been it. I don't have much to say. Or the truth is, I don't like what I have to say. The thoughts that keep running through my head and heart are less than ideal and I have to admit I am a bit embarrassed to share them but since that was the whole point of this blog. . .HERE WE GO.

My new theme verses for this summer, or how ever long it takes me to move past this, is Psalm 23. Right now I am stuck on verse 1. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." You see, when we first moved here the first three sermons we heard were on this Psalm. The first two times I took great comfort in this thinking God was reassuring me that my needs will be met and I will not want for anything. The third time I heard it I realized that I will not want doesn't just mean that my needs will be met but that I will be content with what the Lord provides. Do any of you remember being taught by your parents the difference between wants and needs? I am often emphasizing the difference for my three year old daughter. Well, right now, God is doing the same for me. Darn if I don't want to be the one telling him what I need right now.

Don't get me wrong, ALL of our needs and then even some of our wants have been faithfully met by our good Shepherd. He has even used some of you to meet those needs and wants. But I have some ideals about the kind of life I want to live that are having to die a slow death. The only real problem here is that I have not been informed of God's plan for us. I don't like to be left out of the planning stage! SO I am just sitting here waiting to be told what to do. OK, I can wait, but I am a little sad at the attitude I have adopted during this time of waiting. I have been learning a lot about myself. And frankly, I could have done with out some of the pictures I have seen into my heart! It is full of pride! I think a lot more highly of myself than I should. I am not quite as capable as I thought and dadgumit I don't know how to not let the stress affect my family. For about the last two weeks I haven't been very pleasant to be around. I have tried to blame my crossness on various things but when it comes down to it I just don't want this transition to be hard and IT IS! I am at the point of facing my total lack of drive and ambition. My goal every morning is to just make it through another day. I am in survival mode. But the question is, what am I trying to survive? Life? The fact that God has called me to a life that is different from my ideal? GOOD GRIEF, WOMAN!! GET A GRIP!!

God is teaching me something and unfortunately He is in the process of peeling the ugly hard layers back from my sick diseased heart. He just wants to make it healthy again. I want that with every part of me but does it have to hurt so bad? So right now, I am at a crossroads. Do I really want God's best for my life or will I settle for an easier road because I don't want to make the sacrifices needed to get to the blessings God has for me? You know I settle for less than God's best for me in a million different ways everyday. I pick the easier thing or the quick fix to boost my mood rather than cure the disease where it is growing. But right now, I want you all to know that I am choosing God's best for my life and for my family. Even though I can't see how this is all going to turn out, even though Dan doesn't have a job yet, even though I feel like this doesn't make sense I am choosing to give up this view of life that says it should be easy to follow God and if you do everything will turn out better than before. Because that verse, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." it doesn't mean I will always know where I am being led, or that I will always see the next step. It only means that I am content in the knowledge that I have a God who can see and does know and He wants good for me, not harm. He knows what I need and He will make sure I get it. And not just me, this good shepherd welcomes all in and has more than enough resources to care for us all. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Be content in His provision and rest.

Rest.

This would be a good time to move on to the next verse, "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." Psalm 23:2

Mi Casa es Su Casa!

Ok, Here is the first installment of pictures of our cozy new home. Hope you willcome see us soon!

Pool Time

We finally found a pool! What fun the girls have had in it!! We have gotten lots of use out of it already. This last weekend we had some friends over and played in it. Dan, of course, thought to bring the little slide over so we have quite a set up now. And let me tell you we love it!! You don't get the full affect of the frog pool but believe me it is cool! It has a place to screw in the water hose for a spinkler but we are going to have to ease Elise into that one. She will go head first on her back down the slide into the water but she freaks out when I hook up the sprinkler! Go figure! Everyone has their limits.

I had other pictures that showed more of our backyard but it rained and it is getting quite overgrown so until we get that under control this will have to do. And as for those house pics, well, we have been here long enough that I am going to have to clean first. But I am going right now to take a picture of our very clean and organized garage!! Yeah for Dan!! He is and always will be my hero!

Waiting for the X-Terminator

I have to make it quick. A.) Because Little House on the Prairie comes on in 15 min. B.) I am waiting for the bug man to come and spray the house for roaches. Both events make me cry but one is a good cry and the other is not. I'll let you decide which is which.

Roaches are what Satan uses in my life to break me! We have a long history. I even wrote a poem about the nasty little creatures. It was quite a healing experience. Anyway, I woke up yesterday and walked into my livingroom and there he was! Three inches of nasty evilness on my wall between the TV cabinet and the curtains. You may be thinking, Kelli, it's only a bug!! And you are so right! I feel the same way or I did until last night I went out into the garage to get a screwdriver, I was putting together a bookcase, and there to my overwhelming disgust was a whole group (ok, only 3 or 4) of roaches crawling all over an empty box right next to the tool case!! Coincidence? It could be, but I think not! Dan came to my rescue and killed one or two with the hammer. Believe me they were DEAD!! I was able to recover my senses enough to sleep soundly but I did have to go and check on the girls before I went to bed. While I was there a sincere prayer slipped from mind to the Creator, "Lord, please keep those nasty things off my girls!"

I am so thankful that I live in a place where we can just call the housing office and they say, "Sure, we will have someone over on Friday sometime after noon." I just have to tell you, I am learning that I serve a God who is Master over all creatures! These roaches, they will not have the victory!! They will not beat me and I know for a fact that they will not beat my Lord and Savior!! He is the King, even over roaches!

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a date with the Ingalls family.

The Garage

I am a really good starter. I can get things going like nobody else. I have the vision, the drive, the motivation, the know-how to get things moving in the right direction. BUT, once things start going well I usually lose my motivation. I have this house in great running order! But PLEASE, PLEASE, don't look in my garage or in my back yard!! I hate, I mean really dislike, putting things away. Anything, laundry, dishes, anything, I hate to put things away. I can clean, I can keep things picked up, but if things get really messy it is like pulling teeth for me to get the motivation to put things away. So you can image what laundry day is like at my house; the clean clothes are lying everywhere in piles, or neatly folded and stacked on the couch or the floor.

In order to get my house livable, I put everything I didn't need right away in the garage. SO my garage is a bit of a mess. Today, I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands. I am not sure who elses hands these matters have been in but now it's all me! The girls were getting a little stir crazy from being inside for the last 3 or 4 days so I decided we would spend the morning outside while I worked on the garage. The girls played and whined, and played and cried, and went in and out and back and forth and well the bottome line is, Things have to get worse before they can get better. I got the stupid flimsy shelves I biught for the garage put together and two hours later VIOLA! The garage is still a mess but we have some cheap, flimsy aluminum shelves!!

When we moved here I was a little disappointed that my washer/dryer hook-up were in the garage. I say a little because I was so happy to have them at all!! But I have totally changed my mind about that!! It is genius! I can do laundry all day and the house never gets any hotter and no one sees my mess!! I LOVE IT!!!

There are lots of things I love about our little house. It is MUCH smaller than our WSS dream house but it is nice, well kept, quicker to clean, and big enough for all of us! It is quickly growing on me. It feels like home and I like it. I promise to have some pictures for you soon but I have to finish the garage first. This time I am determined to be a good finisher!! OK, it may not be soon but eventually I will post some pics for you all. Or, you could just come and see for yourselves!

It just occured to me, most Seminary housing doesn't even have garages!! What would I have done then?? Thank You, Lord!!! for garages, cute houses, new beginnings, and your faithful care!!

Back in Business!

Well, my body was in denial for a few days but, Man, IS IT HOT here in the great state of Tejas! I know I am quickly adjusting because today I got excited when it felt cool at 92 degrees! We are moved in and settling down for the long haul.

Olivia is still not crawling but she manages to scoot around somehow. I am not sure how she does it but she got herself under the coffee table the other day!

Anyway we were so blessed by the outpouring of love and support during this move. We ahd so much help on the PA end and just as much help on TX end. We are so thankful for our friends, here and there.

Dan has started his job and it's pretty fun to have him home at 3:30 in the afternoon. We are having our first weekend together this weekend and I could get used to this. But we sure do miss our family at White Sulphur Springs!! Things are just getting started there!! The first week of family camp started yesterday! We are praying for you all WSS!! The girls miss everyone a lot!! But we are meeting lots of new friends so they haven't asked to go back yet, but I am sure that will happen soon. It all still feels like a vacation to the girls. They are doing really great. Olivia did so good during the trip. By the last day I was a little less compassionate and tolerant of her brainnumbing mind altering screeches. But we made it and my brain cells are back to full functioning power.

Keep praying for a full time ministry position for Dan. We are trying to keep our hearts open to where God leads. But it would be really good to have a postion by the time his classes start. God has been so good and He has provided in so many ways!! Thank You all for your prayers and help.

Kentucky Here We Come!

Our truck packed, with room to spare! We are spending the night two whole states away from where we started. Our friends were so amazing!! Dan had everything out in the garage ready to load in the Uhaul so it was all done with by noon!! When I got back from town with the pizza everyone was sitting around waiting. I didn't have to do anything this morning!! My house got cleaned yesterday and today the floors got steamed and it looked great!! I didn't deserve anything like this but I am so thankful for the love and kindness of friends!! It was so hard to leave my Pennsylvania family. I am so glad that from now on we will be saying hello instead of goodbye. I hate goodbyes. I am definitely a see you soon kind of girl!! So, I'll see you soon!!! Oh, and Adam and Mandy, we may see you a little sooner than we planned!!

Moving Craziness!!

You might think that we wouldn't have any exciting news right now but what can I say? A life following Christ is always exciting!! Wednesday morning Dan had a phone interview for a job. Anyone from HSU remember Shane Mize? He was one of our neighbors and friend in married housing at Hardin-Simmons. He was doing the interview!?! The job? Well, we will let you know. I do know that we found out Dan can have the job if he passes the background check and drug test. Hmm. . .Do you think that a steriod given for Poison Ivy would mess up that drug test? Well, we will find out won't we!? YES, He has a really serious, really painful, really itchy case of Poison Ivy! Perfect timing! He was able to go to the doctor yesterday and get some pills. So he won't have that excuse to get out of packing!! Anyway, after he got back from the doctor he spent several hours filling out paperwork for the job. He had to get it in the mail before the post office closed for the day. He made it but soon after he got home from the post office he got a call informing him that some of those papers needed to be faxed not mailed. Oops! To late! Our friends Heather and Steve Able, Micah, their son and Heather's parents came by for one last visit. So we had a good visit and Heather's parents treated us all to a last meal at our favorite fine dining resturaunt The Jean Bonnet. This morning Dan left with FaithLyn and Elise to Harrisburg, PA. That was the closest place that Dan could have his drug test done. It is now almost 4 and he isn't back yet.
Oh and did I mention that our van, the van that Diana is driving with FaithLyn, Elise and Aunt Judy to Texas is in the shop? Yes, the power steering unit thing was completely corroded and leaking. Not a good thing. But, our God is even the God of van repairs!! Art's Automotive is working on hard on getting the van fixed. Diana may be leaving a little later than she planned. Sorry Diana, but aren't you so glad that it got caught before you ended up stranded in Tennessee?
I think that this move is going to happen. God is definitely in control of all of these details and set backs. There have been lots of great things happening as well. For instance, Diana and Judy are arriving tonight, YIPPEE! Dan was able to get all of the stuff done for this job!! Thank You, Lord!! Dan has a job!! We have lots of great friends that are helping us on this end of the move, Rob and Chandra have helped entertain the girls and Katie has helped with the packing. We have lots of great friends that are going to help us on the Fort Worth end of our move!! We have lots of friends and family that are lifting us up to the Lord in prayer!! All things considered I can't imagine a better couple of days. More craziness later!!

My Little Packer

I have some pretty good help packing. It is coming along pretty slowly and most of the stuff ends up with drool all over it but we have a good time. It may be a while before you hear from me again. We would covet your prayers during this craziness. Diana arrives on Friday to take the girls. Pray for her as well. FaithLyn is REALLY excited and Elise is a little nervous. Hope all are enjoying the summer!! Can't wait!!

Still Not Packing!

Only 10 days to go until our pack out date and not ONE box has been packed. What's wrong with me? I can't even clean my house. Part of me keeps saying, "Who cares!" Then the other part of me is screaming, "HELLO! Do know what today is? Are you ever going to clean that bathroom?" The one thing I am really ashamed of is the fact that Dan has been working so hard to finish things up well at the office and I can't even get the bathroom cleaned! He is so worn out from getting everything in order and then coming home and looking for jobs on the internet or contacting people. He has really been diligent about being ready to go. I wish I could say the same thing. I am really excited about being in Fort Worth, I just don't want to have to do the work to get us there. So I am at the hotel helping when I am not needed instead of cleaning my house or cleaning out drawers and packing boxes!!

I have done all the work to make sure things will be ready for us in Fort Worth. We will have electricity, water, and a phone. I am able to think about that part of the move but my brain has some kind of disconnect when it comes to actually getting ready to leave here. I am sure that there is some deep seeded emotional reason that this is going on. It couldn't just be me being lazy. Could it?

You would think that with only two weeks to get ready to move things would hopping around here but it's just life as usual. . .sort of. Olivia is loving eating on her own!! She has five really sharp teeth and she chomps on everthing!! This afternoon I gave her a couple of arrowroot cookies and she was so happy!! She still has a hard time with controling her saliva but, hey! One thing at a time. It's a shame you can't see her teeth behind all that mashed up cookie and drool! She has a really adorable gap! I think she just keeps getting cuter! I am a little partial, though.

The girls got their "Texas" haircuts today. It was really hard for me to have FaithLyn's hair cut! It was so long and cute but I think it will be a lot healthier now. She only agreed to have it cut when I told her we probably wouldn't be able to put in ponytails anymore. Hmmm. . . We didn't get it cut quite that short but Elise's is pretty short. They look so different but still our cute little girls. I think shorter hair will help the girls adapt to the heat in Texas a little more quickly. You may think that is crazy but it has been in the 50's for the last 3 weeks !! It got up to 70 today (in the sun) and we all ran outside to catch a little of the heat. We still have the heater on in the house! My whole body is going to go into shock!! I am sure the girls won't even notice a difference. Here's to another day of not packing!!

Great News!!

First, I want to share the great praise I was alluding to a couple of days ago. My sister-in-law Ellen is PREGNANT!!! WHOO HOO!! Praise God! Since it's not really my news to share I had to wait until she posted her news first. We have been praying for God to bless Ellen with a baby since FaithLyn was born. With every baby I had it made our relationship a little harder. It was so hard to see Ellen hurting and not have any clue how to help her other than pray. I went from trying to hard to help to backing off to much. I have to admit I could in no way even begin to understand what she was going through. It was so hard to see her hurt and know that my joy in motherhood caused her pain. Not because she didn't love my kids, Aunt Ellen is a really wonderful Aunt and the girls love her! It just hurt because they were a reminder of what she so desperately wanted. It was bittersweet for her and for me as well.

Over Thanksgiving Ellen miscarried while she was here visiting. It was so painful, but God gave me a renewed passion for praying for my dear sister and so somehow, I feel so connected to David and Ellen in their joy. I have no right and I am not at all claiming any of God's praise or deserved glory. But prayer connects you to people, even if they don't feel that connection. This pregnancy is nothing short of a miracle and you should go check out her blog at www.dabragdonfamily.blogspot.com. I don't want to steal her thunder but I know some of you know of their struggle with infertility and I hope you will be blessed by their testimony.
Congratulations David and Ellen!! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! God, Your goodness takes my breath away!!

My next good news will pale in comparison but it good to me! The Yard Sale is tomorrow and Dan just loaded up all our stuff and took it to the place where our community yard sale will be. Free at Last! Free at Last!! Thank God Almighty I am Free at Last! My dear friends Katie and Shelly helped last night to get everything priced. A job that would have taken me all day and night was done in about an hour and a half! Thanks Katie and Shelly!! You gals are the BEST! I just have to finish up a few more projects around the house and then it will be time to start packing!! Can you believe that in three weeks we will be in Texas!! I am getting very excited. . . for this whole thing to be OVER!! I am a wreck! I cry about everything, FaithLyn has wet the bed 4 nights out of 6! Last night I just got mad at her when she came in my room at 4 in the morning! If she could come get me why couldn't she make it to the bathroom??? I came back to my senses and realized, with Dan's help, that the girls are probably feeling my stress and it effects them too.
Even though I realize this I am still crabby and weepy. It feels a lot like being pregnant and it is almost as tiring and stressful as delivery. But when I am done with this move I get to sleep at night and my body will be automatically back to normal. Sorry Erin and Mandy and Ellen, it won't be so easy for you, but it will be MUCH more rewarding.
Erin Gerlt called yesterday mid-breakdown. It was a Godsend. Thank You Erin, for hearing me out. I am not sure I was making much sense but I sure felt better after you called. For a few minutes anyway! I usually work best under stress but this is too much for me!! I am an emotional wreck! Yes, even more than usual. But in my weakness, God is strong. I am counting on that!!

The Bunk Bed

The girls got Bunk Beds!! They love them and I have been promising a picture for a while. Here they are. We have already played fort and gotten in trouble more times than I can count. Elise is having a hard time following the rules, but what else is new? FaithLyn fell off the top bunk one of the first nights but only because we had to leave some of the side panels off because they were broken. They have since been replaced and she is much more careful while she is NOT going to sleep at night like she should. Elise often gets lost in her huge bed and we have had a few really scary middle-of-the-night episodes thanks to a lost "snuggle bunny". Elise's snuggle bunny is her beloved sleep prop. It was touch and go there for a while but thankfully we were able to pull snuggle bunny from the depths of the bed. I am so glad that the girls like to play on the bunk beds because it may take up all of the room in the girls bedroom! Oh well, they sure are cute aren't they?

My Provider, My God

I just realized how corny the title for my last post was!! SORRY! I could make lots of excuses but the truth is. . . I am a little corny and I am tired of pretending. Confession is SOO good for the soul!! ANYWAY. . .My real reason for posting is SOOO much more EXCITING!!

I haven't shared much about this because it isn't my story to tell and because of that I am going to have to be really obscure until this loved one leaks the news herself. All I can say is that our God is the God of MIRACLES!! I can't wait to share with you the details of this miracle because it is SOO cool! Let's just say Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!

Oh and one more answer to prayer. Dan and I have always been a one car family. It has always worked out for us. Well, we had two cars for a while and then I smashed our little red car into a tree trying to drive up our steep icy driveway. That was about one year that we had two cars so it doesn't really count, does it? But, we realized that in Fort Worth one car just might not cut it. Especially if Dan gets a job that is more than four blocks away, which is very likely. I also realized that if we only have one car then I can't go visit my parents and sister when ever I want. What good is it to be in the same state with family if you can't visit? So Dan and I started talking about it and we decided to think about another vehicle. We both felt led to wait and pray for God to provide. Well Dan's brother David and his wife Ellen are moving to D.C. for a year. David is going to clerk for Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas for a year. VERY COOL!Well they have two cars and only need one for the year. They offered to let us use their car while they are in Washington D.C. God is so good!! We had thought about a motorcycle since they are more fuel efficient but I was secretly praying that God would provide something else. And He did!! I am not shocked or even surprized that God has provided for our needs, I am just so thankful that He is providing for the desires of my heart. God is so Good!!

The Muddled Musings of a Moving Momma

Sorry I have been so silent. I have so much to process right now and frankly, I am a mess. Life is happening each day and most of our everyday chores get done. But my head is so full of things that need to happen and things that I can't yet take care of that I just can't even think. Here is the update. This weekend we have our community wide yard sale. Then about 2 weeks to pack things up. We have a few leads on job opportunities. There are a couple of ministry positions we could really get excited about. We are trying to gaurd our hearts until the Lord leads more definitely. We are hoping to serve in church ministry. You can keep your eyes and ears open for us if you like. We would like to serve in Youth, College, Singles, Children, Family, or as an Associate Pastor. We really don't know what God has in store for us but we are patiently seeking. This search has been much more hopeful than our last job search. Which only means we have actually heard from some of the places we have applied.

I have no doubt in my mind that God has a perfect job for Dan. We feel like working in a church while we are going through Seminary would be valuable to us. We want a place to work out the head knowledge and make it heart knowledge immediately. You may not all agree with us but it just seems to make sense to us. Dan has to work, we love ministry, we minister together well as a family, we can get paid to do this and we love it. It just seems to fit. But we realize that God may have different plans for us and that is exciting too. I have been seriously exploring the option of taking care of some kids to help supplement our income. I can take in up to 3 kids besides my own and not have to go through all the red tape. I am trying to be realistic about this and it isn't my ideal situation but it gives us some options. This is pretty far down on the list. I don't want to do something that will be detrimental to my own children just for the sake of a few more dollars.

I have to admit, the stress is getting to me. I am not scared about moving to Fort Worth, I am not worried that things won't work out or we won't be taken care of. I am just stressed out about the actual move. I think the most frustrating thing is that I just keep thinking about all the things I need to do but I can't really do them yet. SO I keep making lists and crunching numbers and trying to think things through. On the up side, the last time we moved I was way more scared!! It seems funny that last time it was just Dan and I and FaithLyn was on the way. We were living with Dan's parents and had absolutely NO job leads. God took such good care of us but for a while there I was scared out of my mind!! This time, we have three beautiful little girls we are responsible for and I am not worried in the least! God has proven himself faithful and I am so excited to see how He will take care of us this time.

Some people have a hard time understanding how Dan and I do things. We must seem very irresponsible to most people. Every BIG decision we have made up to now has been crazy in the world's eyes. But one of the things that I fell in love with about Dan 8 years ago is his unshakable faith and trust in the Lord.

So those are my thoughts. I am excited, nervous, emotional, tired, hopeful, sad, uncertain, and sure all at the same time. If you are in Texas, we can't wait to get there and spend time with you. If you are here with us at WSS, well, my heart hurts to think about not being a part of your life anymore. It is hard to understand how all of these emotions fit together but they do, perfectly. Right now I live among people who have made moving an art! I have a lot to learn and I am making some progress but I have a long way to go.

Our New Home

I said that I would post a picture of the house we will be moving to and today is that day! I am only posting a close shot of the house because I don't want my parents or Dan's parents to worry when they see the neighborhood! It's not really that bad but they will see it soon enough!
And Erin, as far as the barrio goes. . . YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET! My friend Erin Gerlt posted on her blog about living in the Barrio. You should look at her blog and rad the comments for the entry "So it's no Secret..." http://gerlthouse.blogspot.com/ A friend of hers commented on some standards for a neighborhood to be considered the Barrio. Well, let me just say we will be residing in THE BARRIO!! I am really looking forward to starting our life there no matter what the neighborhood is like. It can't be much worse than where we lived in Abilene. Technically it could but we won't dwell on that thought.
*The baby in the picture is Hudson Taylor Clayman.*
This house is even better than we thought!! Christopher forgot to mention that the kitchen has a dishwasher!! Praise The LORD!! It doesn't take much to make me giddy but any Mom of small children with a husband would join in my song of joy for a dishwasher! The bedrooms are pretty small but I am just so thankful to have three! The livingroom is . . . small. But we will take it! And a garage!! I never even thought to dream of a garage! I have started to decorate the rooms and fill all of the closets and storage space already. I am sure you women can relate. The house is our domain, and darn it if we just can 't help ourselves!!

Oh and by the way. . . Chris and Nichole and their son, Hudson Taylor Clayman are leaving this month to start West African Outreach/New York City. They will be moving to Harlem the middle of this month and if you would like to help with prayer or support or just contact Chris before or during their move let me know and I can give you his email or phone number. I think he would kill me if I put his personal info here for the whole cyber world! I am really excited about what they are doing. If you know anything about Chris and Nichole you know that they have a great passion to minister to West Africans. And more specifically natives of Mali. Chris did some missionary work in Mali a few years ago and some health concerns have kept him from returning overseas. It has been so amazing to see how God has directed Chris and Nichole to this ministry despite all the seemingly large roadblocks that kept popping up along the way. It just goes to show you that God is more powerful than any circumstances and sometimes He even uses hard things to take us where He wants us! Please pray for them as they serve God in this exciting next step!
They have to raise their own support and I know that my God owns the cattle on a thousand hills but we are often called to be His hands and feet!!